Killing Me Softly
by Hate Finding Usernames
Summary: A year after finals, things were going well for Jesse and Beca - until tragedy strikes. Unable to cope, Beca goes into a tail spin and abandons Jesse and the Bella's for sunny LA. But fate won't quit on her so easily - with the Bella's in serious trouble, can Beca summon the strength to face the past she's tried so hard to run from?
1. Wake Up It's a Miserable Life

**Hello!  
So a bit nervous about uploading this, I haven't written in a long time, but this idea was rattling around my head and I had a few days with nothing to do so ended up writing the vast majority of this story. Please write me some reviews, tell me if it's hideous or if anyone has any interest... This chapter is more just a set-the-scene thing, show where our main dudes are at, hence it being on the short side.  
I also apologise in advance for chapter titles. At 3am one night I decided it would be funny to twist the names of songs and now I'm kinda attached to them.**

**WARNING: some strong language, character death - will change rating if needed.**

**Disclaimer for the whole non-owning thing. Hope you like it!**

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**1 - WAKE UP IT'S A MISERABLE LIFE**

_All she could see were the flames. They were all consuming, unpredictable. The fire licked up the walls of the hallway – it had already engulfed the room, it was looking for bigger prey. The heat was unimaginable. Patches of her skin were melting, her clothes burning. But she couldn't move away. She couldn't run. She had to stay. She had to save her._

_"Amy! Amy I-" Smoke came thick and fast and she struggled to breathe. She could feel it taking hold of her lungs. Spluttering, she tried to find her friend._

"There's, there's no water!" Amy was beside her, searching desperately for anything to stop the flames, but there was too much panic. They were running out of options fast.

"Can you see? I can't see!" Beca lifted her shirt to her mouth to stop her inhaling too much smoke, trying to see through the flames into the dorm room. She thought she could see the computer screen melting, a poster succumbing to the flames that had been creeping up it as it fell out of view. There was nothing else, just the bright light from the fire as it burned the room down.

"She must be here somewhere!"

CRACK. Beca looked around, trying to find the source of the noise. "Amy did you hear that?" The flames were converging on them and her survival instincts told her to run – get out before it was too late. But she couldn't leave. She couldn't abandon her friends.

"What was that?" Beca looked around as she heard the crack again. The wall right in front of her, the wall that was already crumbling down on her. She didn't even have time to scream.

Beca awoke with a start; her breathing heavy, sweat dripping onto the bed sheets. _Just a dream, _she assured herself, _You're fine._She looked up at the ceiling, trying to calm her heart rate down. It was just another nightmare, but at least she could wake up from this one.

Many of her days started this way – waking from the nightmare, calming herself down, then getting ready for work. It was monotonous but at least she had work now, something to focus on. Too many of her days a year ago had been without the distraction of work. She dragged her heavy limbs out of bed and towards her shower. She could make it through this day. She could survive the next fourteen hours.

Beca hated her job. She always knew she would have to pay her dues to get into the business, to achieve her dream, but she didn't realise how much she would hate it. Her boss, Jerry Melbourne, was a horrible man. He thrived on getting others to do his bidding and taking the credit after. For a music producer he knew very little about current music trends. He was a short fat man with a non-existent sex life and an expensive alimony, and he took all his anger at the world out on her.

But she took it. She took all his crap because one day, she would be him - a better him. She would be doing what she loved to do and she would finally be happy - She hoped.

On the other side of the country, Jesse was opening _Hector_'s for the day, a karaoke bar not too far from the university. It was the kind of place where everything seemed to be made of wood. The floors were unvarnished, scratched, and stained from spilled alcohol. A sturdy mahogany bar separated the customers from the wall of bottles containing liquids of all colours. Gleaming taps stood tall and proud. Small circular tables stood scattered in the middle of the room, each with a varying quantity of mismatched chairs. Three plush red booths were attached to the wall opposite the bar. The walls were covered in photos of regulars, autographed pictures from the many famous artists that had begun their career there, and a pin board kept various napkins covered in the drunken scrawls of customers. A brass coat hanger stood by the door, mainly holding forgotten scarves and lost umbrellas. It was small and a bit too dark for Jesse, but that also made him love the bar even more. The imperfections only enhanced its beauty.

He had been here for three months, and despite his love for the little bar, he was tired. He'd been up all night trying to figure out was missing from the Treble's set for the semi-finals. Something was wrong but he couldn't figure it out. Maybe it was his growing disinterest in it all; his passion for acapella - for music in general - was waning. The box in the back of his mind that he had locked up tightly whispered to him, but he shook the thought away. The past was too painful, and he had already over examined it enough to last a lifetime.

Predictably, the first customer of the day was Grumpy Greg, a retired navy seal with a ton of his long dead parents money and no one children to bother saving it for.

"Morning Greg," Jesse greeted. "Usual?"

Greg grunted, taking his usual seat at the corner closest to the bathroom. Despite his nickname, Jesse had grown quite fond of the old man. War tattoos were fading away on his hands and arms, but the wrinkles on his face grew deeper every day. He wore a red cap over his balding head and always had the same fisherman's jacket slung over his plaid shirt. He was pleasant in his disinterest, more likely to scrawl sketches on napkins (many of which hung on the pin board) than converse with any other customers. He kept to himself and enjoyed his loneliness. Jesse liked to think that, if he turned out like Greg, it wouldn't be so bad.

"Jesse!" Freddy walked in through the door, the bell ringing above him to announce his entrance. "What're you doing here man? You're supposed to be doing that weird singing thing!"

Freddy was the other part-time bar tender, who was always late and never seemed all there. He was tall, dark and handsome and he knew it, his cockiness earning him many a snide look from the girls who came in. His hair flopped into his eyes and he had mastered the hair flip much to Jesse's distain, as he did it constantly and drove the senior crazy. Luckily for him, he only shared one shift with Freddy a week, and since he was a high school dropout, he never bumped into him around campus.

"I need the break from all that prep work anyway," Jesse said with a shrug. "We've got a week until semi-finals so I've got time to work it all out."

Freddy hopped over the bar and grabbed his apron, tying it around his waist. "You'll be fine." He slapped Jesse supportively on the back. "Just go with the flow and it'll all be alright on the night!"

Jesse sighed; Freddy had been on the pot again.

More customers began to drizzle in, so Jesse busied himself pouring drinks and cleaning tables, trying to keep his mind off the upcoming few months. Not only did he have the Trebles to sort out, but he also had his finals and the future to think about. His time at Barden was coming to an end and Jesse didn't have a clue what he was going to do with his life. His parents were piling on the pressure but all Jesse wanted to do was stop time and run far away, away from the pressure, away from the memories. He shrugged the idea off. He had responsibilities and he had to face his future at some point.

_Besides, running would make me just as bad as that certain ex-girlfriend_, he thought bitterly.


	2. Waiting For a Beca to Fall

**I had some wonderful feedback so thanks to everyone who reviewed :) Hope you all enjoy this one! Some ****_big _****stuff goes down so it's very exciting ;) Get ready for some serious blasts from the past!**

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**2 - WAITING ON A BECA TO FALL**

That first summer had been perfect.

After their performance, after the kiss, after the winning and after she had given in to her feelings for Jesse, they had been incredible. They celebrated that first night just the two of them, skipping the celebratory party to instead celebrate the beginning of them; the beginning of forever. All night they stayed out, driving down any road they fancied, finding secluded spots to revel in the next step of their relationship. Jesse would hold her hand and Beca wouldn't pull away, strangely enjoying the feel of his constant touch.

They enjoyed every second together that they could. When it was time to go home for the summer, they said goodbye by throwing toilet roll all over the station and running all the way back to her packed up dorm room, falling onto her bed in a haze of adrenaline, the prospect of leaving each other too hard to bear.

Of course, they had visited each other, but too much time was spent apart. They craved each other with a burning passion. And upon their return to the second year at Barden, things got busy. Taking over the rivalling acapella groups meant less time together. Jesse reasoned that this made every moment they did have together extra special and – though she rolled her eyes at him every time he said it – Beca believed it too. Jesse persuaded her to watch all his favourite movies (which was a lot), and Beca fell asleep every time, the warmth of his body so close to hers sending her into a peaceful slumber.

And it continued this way, until that one fateful Sunday. The beginning of the end.

Beca sighed heavily, looking up at her ceiling despondently. The mid-afternoon sun was warm on her skin through the window and she debated going down to the beach for a moment. Today was a rare day off for her, and though she had planned to work on another mix to keep her mind occupied, she couldn't quite gather the energy to get out of bed and walk the 20 steps to her set up. To her, it seemed more like 20 miles.

With nothing better to do, her mind drifted. She wondered what the Bella's were doing right now – probably perfecting their set for semi-finals. What songs did they pick? She paused; did they make it the semi-finals? She had no way of knowing. She hadn't spoken to any of them since she left, she realised guiltily. She tried to imagine what they were like now. And what about Chloe and Aubrey? They were off in the big wide world now. What were they doing? How were they coping? The amount of questions she had embarrassed her; these girls used to be her friends. Now… Well, Beca wasn't too sure.

Jumping out of bed, she stretched like a cat as she walked towards her computer. _Just one peak_, she reasoned with herself, wiggling the mouse so the screen lit up.

Opening Youtube, Beca hesitated before typing in 'Barden Bella's'. She closed her eyes and hit enter, opening them slowly to see the list of videos. _That wasn't too bad was it?_ She scrolled through until she found the video from the most recent regionals and opened it, waiting impatiently for it load.

And then there they were, her Bella's, walking onto the stage nervously. They began to sing and dance to _Set Fire To The Rain _by Adele. Beca couldn't help the smile that grew on her face. Something swirled in her chest as she watched, and she didn't even notice the tears until one fell onto her keyboard. They were really good!

When the video ended, she searched back to find their performances from the year before, eager to watch more. She found the regionals set from the year before and drank it up, but this time the tears fell for a different reason. The Bella's were… Bad, she noticed in shock. Some of them forgot the words, forgot their cues. Dance moves were unpractised. The songs didn't blend together. Beca stopped the video, her head in her hands. She had left them and they had struggled to bring it together. Guilt was overwhelming her, making her toes tingle and her throat tight.

Beca shook it off. This was a year ago – they had pulled it back since and were great. She wiped her tears and went to close the window, but something jumped out at her. There, in the Recommended videos – _TREBLE MAKERS TAKE BACK THEIR CROWN! _Even in the tiny thumbnail, she could see him, his hand raised, kneeling on the stage. Before she was even aware of what she doing, she opened the video.

_'Run, run, run, run, runaway baby before I put my spell on you,' _he sang to the audience. Transfixed, she watched his every move. He was beautiful – she didn't know how else to put it. Something stirred in her stomach – just through this one video, his performing was reawakening that part of herself she had suppressed when she came to LA. Heart beating faster, Beca's breath was taken away as he sang, '_your poor little heart will end up alone, 'cause lord knows I'm a rolling stone, so you better run run runaway, runaway baby_.'

She craved Jesse with every fibre of her being.

_No! _she scolded herself. _Do not think about him! _A year ago she had stopped herself thinking of his name, his eyes, his hair, his arms… She could feel her mind drifting again, and she quickly closed the video, pushing back and walking quickly towards her shower. She needed to clear her head and get her focus back. Beca had had her fun delving into the past, and that was it. No more looking back. Her life was here now – that part of her was dead, that part of her life was gone.

Jesse was exhausted. Dragging his messenger bag behind him, he climbed the last of the stairs in the Treble house and forced his feet to move, one in front of the other, towards his room. He couldn't remember the last time he had slept – when he wasn't in class, he was in rehearsals with the Treble's, and when he wasn't there he was working at Hector's. He had spread himself paper thin, but he kept him occupied and most of all, stopped him thinking about the future, which he liked best.

Jesse flung open his door and dropped onto his bed. He didn't care that his door was wide open, that he was still fully dressed and stunk of beer, or that he had last minute prep work to do for the Treble's. _Nothing _would make him move from his surprisingly comfortable position.

"Jesse glad you're back!" Benjie walked into his room. Jesse groaned into his pillow.

"Whatever it is can wait," he said harshly, his voice muffled. Jesse used his toes to slip his shoes off, falling to the floor with a soft thump.

Benjie hesitated, looking at his friend. He worried about Jesse a lot. He gave himself too much to do and it was stopping him from focussing on the important things. Benjie knew he didn't have a plan for after college. He knew that his friend was struggling, and he knew exactly who to blame for Jesse's spiral into this person with no sparkle left.

During his pause, Jesse had fallen asleep. Benjie heard his soft snoring and pressed his lips together. Deciding it was best to let him sleep, Benjie turned to leave but noticed Jesse's shoes. The tiny mess they made in the otherwise pretty clean room irked him. Putting them away wouldn't do any harm would it? Benjie walked quietly back and put them gently into the wardrobe, careful not to make any noise. And what harm would putting Jesse's bag on its hook do? Again, Benjie tip toed across the room for the bag, taking the strap out of Jesse's relaxed hand and lifting it slowly. However, the disturbance caused something to fall out of the open bag, and Benjie winced, ready for the onslaught of insults.

When none came, he opened his eyes to see Jesse still passed out. Benjie bent down towards what had fallen; Jesse's open wallet. Straightening back up, Benjie went to close it when something caught his eye. Unable to resist, Benjie pulled the tattered piece of paper out of the back of the wallet. What he found on the paper made his heart clench for his sleeping friend.

_Jesse,  
I know you will hate me for this. I hate me for this. But know I will never forget you and all you've done for me. You saved my life in more ways than one. You're an incredible person – find someone just as incredible who deserves you.  
I love you.  
Beca x_

Benjie folded the paper back up carefully and put it back in Jesse's wallet. He had seen the note once before – a year and a half ago, when he came back to the dorm to find Jesse standing like a statue, a tear falling from his cheek to the paper held tightly in his hand.

The fact that Jesse still carried the note around worried him, even more than he had been worried about his best friend beforehand. The note meant Jesse was far worse than he led Benjie to believe. He was clinging to all he had left of Beca and it was very unhealthy. She was just a girl, but even as Benjie thought it he knew it wasn't true. Beca had been Jesse's girl; she was his soulmate, and it seemed Jesse was refusing to let go of the idea that she was the only girl for him.

Closing his door softly, Benjie began to think – Jesse needed to move on, so how could he get him to forget about Beca?

8 hours had passed since Beca had watched the videos. 7 hours ago she had stepped out of the shower, feeling convinced that she'd washed away the thoughts of her past. 6 hours ago she hit a road block with her mix, and 3 hours ago, she had reactivated her Facebook.

She reasoned that this was just curiosity – checking in on old friends without actually having to have the awkward conversation with them about where she had been for so long and why she had run away without an explanation. Scrolling down even further on Denise's page, she found more pictures of the Bella's. She drank them in, absorbing everything she could. She looked at the tiniest details, learning the faces of the new members, nodding at new haircuts and smiling at how there was always a Bella's scarf somewhere in there. Beca glanced up from her computer to look at her own, tied around the desk lamp. It was a bit faded now and probably quite dusty since it hadn't been touched since she moved into her apartment 14 months ago. She rubbed a corner between her thumb and finger carefully, as though it might harm her if she touched it too long.

Averting her gaze back to the screen, she rested her chin on her hands as she looked at the picture of the whole group, grinning for the camera and holding up red beer cups. Behind them, she realised they were in the abandoned pool, and this must have been from the riff-off. For the millionth time that day, her mind took her back to their first riff-off. To how _he _had sung to her, how it had felt as everyone began to join in on her song. It had been mind-blowing to have all those people singing with her.

Smiling sadly, she continued to flick through the pictures, surprise filling her as she spotted herself in one. There she was, pulling a stupid face with the rest of the Bella's as they held their trophy. Beca remembered this night – they had won the ICCA's for the second year in a row. Her gut tightened for two reasons – Jesse had taken this photo, and this had been just a week before the accident. She looked at everyone's happy faces; they had no idea what was about to rock their world.

Saving the photo, she set it as her computer background. She knew it was against her rule to not look back, but honestly, her entire day had been one big rule breaker. Maybe it was good to have that one reminder. Her last happy memory before shit hit the fan.

Exiting to her homepage, Beca hovered over the log out button, unsure. She had made sure her Chat was offline as soon as she reactivated, but she had an overwhelming urge just to peak at it. Just to see who else was there.

No. She hit log off before she could think twice, closing the window and rushing to her bed. No more checking in. They were all happy and that was what mattered. They had moved on. Barden had moved on. Just because she hadn't quite managed it yet didn't mean the rest of the world had stopped spinning and continuing.

Beca put her pillow over her head, trying to block the very loud thoughts out. She was frustrated and she wasn't sure why. In all her time spent in LA, she had never felt lonely until this day. Now, she felt the effects of the bubble she had made herself to sit safely inside. Inside her bubble, no one could touch her. No one could hurt her. No one could disappoint her. A sob slipped between her lips as she remembered back to sitting in her dad's kitchen.

_"I tried so hard to make things right between us, but you just shut me out."_

_"Yeah I shut everyone out, don't take it personally. It was just easier."_

_"It's also really lonely."_

Beca huffed, trying to stop the tears that were streaming down her face. She'd done it again; blocked out everyone who cared about her. And for what? To live in a tiny crappy apartment and work for a man who she hated? She'd been selfish to leave at a time when they all needed to be together. Because of her flight instinct, the Bella's had not only lost one member; they had lost two.

Beca didn't realise she had cried herself sleep until she woke to a loud banging. The pillow she had been holding over her was now squeezed between her arms as she hugged it. Beca groaned as she rolled over, her bones stiff and her eyes sore.

"Beca?" The banging continued and she realised it was on her door. She pulled the pillow back over her head. She was lethargic and was in no mood to talk to anyone, no matter how desperate they seemed to be.

"Beca Mitchell!" Beca huffed, throwing her pillow in the direction of the door.

"Go away!" she whined.

"I heard that, and I'm not going until you face me."

Beca frowned. She knew that voice… Chloe?

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**So our estranged couple still have some unresolved feelings, and of course... Chloe's back! Cue dramatic music! Please leave me a review letting me know what you thought about it all, and as a nice present for New Years, here's a sneak peak at the next chapter...**

_"Everyone misses you." Chloe looked at her pointedly, and Beca knew who 'everyone' translated into. "You bought us all together that year and made us better. And right now, the Bella's need you again. It's time to face your demons and man up, accept your responsibility, and see this whole thing through."_

**See you all in 2013!**


	3. Breakfast At Beca's

**Had some amazing feedback for my last chapter so thanks for much for all your reviews and follows and favourites :) I'm incredibly excited about posting this because it means that tomorrow is where this story can finally begin to get moving! I've written about 3 chapters already today because you're reviews are so inspiring, so please continue! This chapter is slightly shorter again but next chapter is a big one! Hope you all enjoy :)**

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**3 - BREAKFAST AT BECA'S**

"Open this door Beca!"

Beca shot up in bed, eyes wide as she realised who it was. It wasn't possible; how could Chloe be here? She scrambled to the foot of her bed, grabbing the top jumper from where she kept them on one bedpost. Throwing it around herself as she walked to the door, she felt her stomach tie up in knots. It had been almost two years since she last saw Chloe, and that hadn't exactly been the best of times.

"If you do not open this door in the next ten seconds, I will kick it down!"

Knowing Chloe, she didn't doubt her old friend's threat, so got herself to the door like a bat of a hell. She opened the door slowly; her lips pressed together as she saw the angry face of a girl on a serious mission. The redhead instantly pushed past her, her eyes moving over the messy 2 room apartment. A coach sat in the middle of the room, the make-shift studio pushed against the far wall next to Her nose crinkled but she passed judgement; she had a purpose and she needed to stick to it.

"No human being should live like this." Okay so Chloe couldn't help it, she had to say _something_.

Beca huffed but otherwise stayed quiet. She didn't have the energy to argue today.

Chloe turned back around. "I suppose I should say hi first." Chloe stepped towards her for a hug but stopped, unsure how people were supposed to handle these situations.

"You're mad," Beca observed.

"Damn right I'm mad!" Chloe said angrily, hands on hips. "Do you know how worried I've been?"

Beca opened her mouth to speak but thought better of it.

"You- you ran away! You just upped and… One second you were there behind me, and then- Beca you abandoned us!"

The brunette breathed in through her nose, trying to keep herself calm. "I'm sorry."

"Apologies won't fix this Beca. Do you have any idea how much damage you caused?"

Anger flickered in the pit of Beca's stomach but she fought to keep her voice calm. "Chloe I-"

"The Bella's are a mess," Chloe threw her hands up in the air. "They're trying to get it together again after," Chloe paused and looked away for a moment, closing her eyes. She started again. "They scraped through regionals but they're a disaster. I got a call from Cynthia, begging me to find you."

"I didn't mean to hurt them," Beca said through tight lips. "But there's nothing I can do. My life is here now."

"My life is in New York but here I am!" Chloe motioned to her smart suit. "I'm supposed to be selling houses but no, I'm in LA hunting down my runaway friend because you know what I am Beca?"

"A good friend?" Beca said sweetly, forcing a smile so fake she was basically just baring her teeth.

"I am a Bella woman!" Chloe announced proudly, pushing her shoulders back proudly. "And I took an oath, to fulfil the duties and responsibilities of a Bella woman. One of which, is chasing down Bella's who do not stick to the oath!" Chloe looked pointedly at Beca, one eyebrow raised.

"That sounds more like Aubrey than Chloe," Beca diverted. Chloe's shoulders sagged a little.

"She may have said something like that to me in order to make me be here. I wasn't exactly keen on using up more of my vacation days at work to go on some wild goose chase."

"How did you find me by the way?" Beca asked, walking towards her couch and moving the records that had made their home there. She sat down and patted the seat beside her, Chloe obligingly sitting on the worn out couch.

"It wasn't difficult. I knew you'd be in LA, and after that it was just a case of calling record labels pretending to be your mother." Chloe shrugged. Beca was impressed.

"You know I can't go back." Beca clutched her hands together anxiously.

"I know that the accident was difficult, more so for you than anyone else really. But Beca, horrible things happen. It's a part of life that is stupid and no one enjoys but we learn from it." Chloe placed her hands over Beca's. "Everyone misses you." Chloe looked at her pointedly, and Beca knew who 'everyone' translated into. "You bought us all together that year and made us better. And right now, the Bella's need you again. It's time to face your demons and man up, accept your responsibility, and see this whole thing through."

"Chloe, I… I don't know. I have a job now, and I'm happy." Beca pulled her hands together, looking towards the floor.

"Look at you." Chloe sighed. "You can't even convince yourself of that. You belong at Barden, Beca."

Beca continued to look towards the floor, a tear falling onto her jeans.

"Tomorrow the Bella's will gather at Willow's Rest." Chloe cleared her throat, trying to keep herself together. "They like to go before competitions - for luck. I'll be there, and Aubrey if she can finish her classes in time. Will you be there?"

"I'll think about it."

"You should be with us all, it's important." The older girl rose from her seat and walked towards the door. She turned back for a moment, looking at Beca sadly. "She'd have liked it, if you were there."

Chloe let herself out, leaving Beca to cry as the memories of the past she'd run away from began to overwhelm her.

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"How are you still not getting this?" Jesse barked at Peter, one of their newer recruits who could sing anything but understood nothing. He felt sorry for the guy really. Jesse had been on his case since he joined, but he couldn't help it- the guy just didn't get anything!

"I'm trying," Peter groaned. "But it just feels ridiculous!"

"Because you're not doing it right. Donald will you please show him," Jesse said, exasperated. Donald did not have the best patience with the guy either, but Donald hadn't been as chilled out as he usually was – he was retaking his last year because he failed finals and he was very stressed about it all.

Jesse sent the rest of his group away on a take five, grabbing his bottle of water and jogging outside, needing the air. He lent against the exterior wooden wall of the Treble house and exhaled loudly. He knew he was grumpy. He knew he was taking it out on his friends. But Jesse had no direction to steer him, and he was miserable because of it.

In their worst timing possible, the senior Bella's came into view a few metres away. They were clustered together, bickering over something. Bitterly, Jesse hoped they were having as many problems as he was. As if they'd heard his thoughts, Amy looked up and spotted him. She raised a hand and smiled politely, and Jesse returned the gesture. He knew there should be a larger rivalry between them, that they shouldn't be nice to each other, but there was a bond there. They spoke very little and when they did it was normally only in situations like this, but the ties were there. He and Amy would always be joined through the events of the accident.

"Do you think he knows?" he overheard as the wind blew Amy's words to him. He frowned. Know what? He strained his ears, trying to hear Jessica's reply, but they were too far away now. He shrugged it off, instead focusing on getting his head back in the game – they needed this win. _He _needed this win.

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**Beca is coming back to Barden! I really hope you're all as excited over this as I am.**

**Next chapters preview...**

_**Beca ducked quickly behind the tree again. She was sure Benjie had seen her. **__**Oh God please don't let him have seen me.**_


	4. Lily, You're a Star

**So today is the day that the accident is revealed. I got a guest review from someone who was confused about the mentions of it when it hadn't been explained so, to reply to that now; the main jist of the accident will be revealed in this chapter. However, more details about it, the causes and consequences of it, will be slowly revealed throughout the story. Now I'm going to go hide behind my wings of steel because this is going to be a difficult chapter for you all to stomach. **

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**4 – LILY, YOU'RE A STAR**

Willow's Rest lay at the bottom of a shallow hill, named after the giant and ancient Willow tree at its centre. It stretched out for about a mile either way, and the only entrance was through 8 foot black iron gates at the top of the hill, a brick wall closing it off the rest of the way. Beca stood in front of the sign, reading the words _Willow's Rest Graveyard _over and over as she tried to pluck up the courage to actually complete her journey.

She still felt sore from the flight over. Because of last minute booking she had the worst seat on the plane, and had been unable to get comfortable, leaving her with back ache and a rash on her leg from the itchy seat material. Against her better judgement, Beca had forced herself to take the plunge and come across the country, Chloe's words about being a Bella woman ringing in her ears. She had spent the long journey contemplating the week ahead. It would be hard on Beca, she knew, but she needed this. Beca needed to face her demons, just as Chloe had said, and there was only one way to do it.

Beca inhaled deeply and pushed the gate open, walking a few steps up the path. She was in, all she had to do now was walk. She looked out at the large piece of land that contained so many lost loved ones. This was going to be harder than she'd thought.

"Beca," Chloe said in surprise as she got up from the bench pushed against the wall. "You came!"

Beca nodded unsurely and stepped towards her. "Were you waiting for me?"

"I was waiting for Aubrey but I don't think she made it." Chloe closed the gap between them and pulled her friend in for a hug. Chloe was dressed more casually than she had been the last time she saw her in a simple pair of jeans and an emerald green jacket. A bouquet of flowers lay in her arms. "I'm so glad you're here."

Patting her awkwardly on the back, Beca tried to calm her instinct to run. She was here now, there was no turning back.

Chloe pulled back and gave her a genuine smile. "You ready?"

"Nope." Beca bit her thumb nail nervously.

"Want a minute?"

"Yeah," Beca mumbled as the fear of the day engulfed her. Chloe turned to head down the sandstone pathway, but turned back to smile at Beca.

"Promise you won't bail? I want you there in two minutes!"

Chloe left Beca to her thoughts, and walked the long path towards where she knew the Bella's would be waiting. From a distance, she could make out a few people, and she smiled as she spotted a fair head of hair.

Aubrey spotted the redhead first. She waved her arm in the air, her black dress floating around her knees in the gentle breeze. Chloe grinned and walked quickly to reach the group of girls.

Hugs of greetings and sadness were exchanged between the small group as they gathered around the purpose of their visit. Three bouquets of flowers stood out brightly against the glossy back stone that marked the burial site of their lost comrade, and Chloe gently lay down her own beside them.

"Beca is here." Chloe smiled brightly, too excited to keep it a surprise.

"How did you manage that?" Stacie gasped.

"Told her the truth, reminded her of the oath." Chloe shrugged but winked at her. "She's just taking a minute."

As if in cue, Beca appeared around a corner, walking slowly towards them. She wasn't sure how she would be received by the group, and the way they watched her gave nothing away. But the girls all grinned at her, collecting her into a group hug. She relaxed a little, glad they weren't angry enough to throw rotten food at her. As they pulled away she smiled at them all.

"Wow, you guys…" Beca trailed off, her eyes focussing on the name engraved on the glistening black gravestone. Emotion welled in her chest. She hadn't been here since the day she ran away.

"It's beautiful isn't it," Stacie murmured, every Bella's eyes on the stone. Beca stepped towards it, moving to kneel on the grass in front of it.

"It's weird, I mean, I was at the funeral, heck I was _there_… But I somehow…"

"Didn't accept it," Aubrey finished for her.

Beca's eyes prickled with tears as the memories hit her with force. "I can't believe she's gone." Her fingers ran over the date.

"Oh my god!" Aubrey squeaked. "Is that... Is that Jesse?"

Chloe looked up the hill and saw it too; Jesse and Benjie, walking slowly towards them. Beca felt her breath catch at the sight of him – in all the hurry of making plans to get here, she had completely forgotten to factor seeing Jesse again into her pros and cons for goings.

"Shit!" Beca panicked, jumping to her feet. "He can't see me, I can't- I can't do this yet, you have to hide me!"

In what was probably the most touching show of friendship Beca had ever seen, the Bella's moved together to hide Beca from sight, standing close together and shuffling slowly towards the Willow tree.

Amy swatted her hand behind her, speaking through her teeth. "Go for the tree!"

Beca ran cautiously towards the large tree a few metres behind them, its trunk big enough for her to hide behind without being seen. She peeked out in time to see Jessie and Benjie slow as they realised the Bella's presence, coming to a stop a little ways up the path.

A heated exchange began, but Beca couldn't focus on what was being said. She, instead, took the opportunity to actually look at Jesse. He was thinner than she remembered, and there were bags under his eyes – presumably due to the pressures of the semi-finals – but otherwise he seemed the same. She admired his hair; the effortless way he wore his Treble's hoody; his-

Beca ducked quickly behind the tree again. She was sure Benjie had seen her. _Oh God please don't let him have seen me_.

* * *

"I can't believe you dragged me here."

"We're paying our respects." Jesse turned to his friend, glad he had some company. He needed to clear his head, and somehow, being here always helped.

"What if one of them is here?"

"Then we wait until they're gone." The pair walked through the large gates, and looked out on the large expanse of graves that lay at the bottom of the hill.

"Oh God…" Benjie pointed out to his left. "That's them isn't it."

Jesse was more than a little surprised to see so many there. He had visited here numerous times, and he'd never actually bumped into a Bella before. Now, it seemed the whole group was there.

"Jesse, we can't go down there. We'd be crashing their little… Memorial thing." Benjie felt nervous as he saw the determination in his friends' stance.

"We're hardly crashing, we're just happening to be here when they are."

"Turning up uninvited is the definition of crashing."

"Look," Jessie said, nodding towards them. "They've spotted us already!"

"They're not going to want us here." Benjie sighed, knowing he had no real say in the matter. He continued to follow his friend as he made his way down the path.

"There's no laws saying we can't be here."

"No, this is bad. This is really bad. We shouldn't be doing this."

Jesse sighed. "This could be good for us! You know… Try and fix the problems. Fix the bridges."

"Are you talking about problems with the Bella's or problems with Beca?" Benjie winced as Jessie glared at him; Beca was a taboo topic not to be ever 'spoken about or even thought about', as Jessie had so bluntly put it.

"Be-She's long gone." Jesse clenched his fist and sighed again. "Look, this accident, it affected everybody. I just don't think it would hurt to show our support, even if we are rivals."

"They're going to tell us right where to shove our support." Benjie's words fell on deaf ears – Jessie was already waving at the girls who all stood together, glaring at the intrusion.

"Chloe! Aubrey! What a lovely surprise." Jesse smiled at them.

"What are you doing here?" Aubrey looked him up and down and he knew he was very unwelcome here.

"I was just visiting, I believe I have every right to do so!" Jessie crossed his arms, frowning. The Bella's were tense, more defensive than normal. He wondered what he'd interrupted.

"I'm sorry, he's a bit riled up," Benjie tried to explain. "He likes to come here to think."

Benjie glanced at his friend, but as he looked back to the girls he swore he saw… No. He shook it off. That was impossible.

"Well right now, this is a Bella's meeting, so since you're our rival, I think you better think somewhere else." Cynthia Rose was glaring still, but Amy elbowed her.

"We'll be done soon, maybe you could come back later?" Amy half-smiled at him, and Jessie saw it again; the bond between them. As she smiled, his mind went back to the accident, the day that changed everything.

_"Beca? Beca!""he shouted, rushing between people, trying to look inside open rooms, down busy corridors, anywhere that she could possibly be. The flames roared just ahead, but he refused to believe... No, he couldn't even think about it. Jesse scanned the faces, desperately hoping that she was there somewhere. She was here; he just had to find her. Staff members were trying to keep the crowds calm, trying to get the students to safety. A professor grabbed his arm, trying to turn him around, but he pulled away – he wasn't leaving without her._

_"Beca!" he yelled, over and over, as the people began to thin out. The smoke was flowing along the ceiling, and he bent down, trying to stay with the fresh air for as long as possible._

_"Jesse!" Turning wildly towards the call, he spotted Amy waving at him further down, right by the flames. He raced towards her, forgetting all about the danger. As he got closer he saw she was trying to move chunks of plasterboard and bricks, scrambling through the mess that surrounded her._

_"Amy where's Beca?" He grabbed her wrists and she cried out in pain. He looked down and instantly saw her right wrist was badly broken and swollen._

_"I can't… There's too much." Amy coughed, the smoke heavy in her lungs._

_"Amy I need you to keep calm. Beca. Where is Beca?"_

_Amy used her good hand to point at the rubble she had been lifting, and Jesse felt faint as he looked at it. Could someone survive that?_

_"We were trying to save her," Amy began to ramble as Jesse began to desperately plough through the bricks. The flames were only feet away. "There was a crack, it fell on us."_

_Hair. He could see hair. Jesse pushed the pieces aside and found her face, covered in blood, dirt and ash. Her eyes were closed but he could feel her pulse. Jesse let out the breath he didn't know he was holding; she was alive._

_"Amy, help me move this stuff!" Jesse called frantically. She helped to shove the rubble aside, one eye anxiously on the quickly spreading fire. Jesse could see the flames creeping towards them, could see it burning through their clothing. Amy kept her broken wrist cradled against her chest. Together, they managed to free Beca's body, and Jesse slid his arms under her legs and back, lifting her close to his chest._

_Jesse turned his head to look at Amy, and he saw the tears drip quickly down her face. "Lily… She's in there still! We can't leave her!"_

_But Jesse knew there was no time. The flames had consumed the room and an ajoining one already – Lily was already gone and they needed to get out before it was too late._

_"We gotta go Amy," he called over the roar of the flames. She looked at him, torn, so Jesse grabbed her, pulling her with him by her sleeve as they rushed to the exit, Beca still unconscious in his arms._

Jesse bit his lip. "Sure. I'm sorry for interrupting." He turned to leave but glanced back to Amy first. "Good luck at the semi-finals."

He nodded and, defeated, he began the walk back to the exit.

* * *

"He's gone," Ashley called to her finally, and Beca exhaled in relief. As Beca re-joined the group, she thanked them.

"I'm serious you guys, you just saved me from one very awkward confrontation that I really don't want to have." She smiled gratefully. "Now come on, let's get down to business. What exactly did I fly across the country for?"

Cynthia Rose and Amy shared a look. "We can't get the music right," Cynthia Rose admitted. "We wanted to maybe do something for Lily, but we can't mix stuff together like you."

"And without music, we can't do choreography," Amy added.

"So we're basically a week away from performing and we have nothing to show."

Beca nodded, understanding their worry. "Okay. Well, last time we were in a rut – sorry Aubrey – what did we do?"

"We remixed this business," Cynthia said with attitude, and the Bella's smiled as they remembered.

"Then let's see what you got!" Beca stepped back to let them begin, but they all looked around anxiously at each other.

Beca rolled her eyes at them but smiled, starting them off with the same song.

_"So I travel back down that road,  
Will she come back? No one knows.  
Now I realise, it was only just a dream."_

And slowly, one by one, each of the Bella's began to join in, their sing swelling into an overlap. Even Chloe and Aubrey joined in, amazed at how quickly they all settled back into the routine. The girls began to smile as they sang, linking arms and giggling. Chloe looked happily around the group; Lily had brought them together again from beyond the grave.

As the sing came to a close, the girls dissolved into laughter. It had been a long time since any of them had felt that way while singing. The shared feeling of giddiness was infectious, and even Beca began to laugh.

"See? You guys still got it! You just gotta work with it." Beca stepped towards Lily's grave, touching the top of it. She could feel her brain already buzzing with ideas.

"Come on guys!" Amy clapped her hands together. "We got a lot of work to do in very little time!"

* * *

**Please don't hate me! Having the character death was so difficult and I didn't want to but it's a vital part of the story. If killing Lily off makes you sad, then feel free to cry about it in a review because I have been waiting to be able to talk about it for a week :(**

**Next chapter!**

**_"Now remember guys. The Trebles are going to be expecting demure, they're going to be expecting average." Beca paced in front of them. "Everyone will be expecting us to pay tribute to Lily, but we need to shock them. We've switched it up. No focusing on what happened to her - instead, we're upbeat, we're celebrating life. We are going to cause a stir."_**


	5. Welcome To The Barden Parade

**Thanks to all my wonderful reviews last chapter. I'm so glad no one hated me for it! As a special present, this chapter is extra long and includes songs, flashbacks, Dr Mitchell, and the realisation you've all been waiting for...**

**Please review and let me know what you think!**

* * *

**5 – POCKET FULL OF SURPRISES**

"Alright guys, that's it! Our last rehearsal is done!" Beca clapped her hands to call order. The Bella's huddled round and she looked around at all the faces. There were 3 new girls – Mindy, Tia and Josephine – that Beca had come to appreciate; they added a new energy and were eager to learn.

"Now remember guys. The Trebles are going to be expecting demure, they're going to be expecting average." Beca paced in front of them. "Everyone will be expecting us to pay tribute to Lily, but we need to shock them. We've switched it up. No focusing on what happened to her - instead, we're upbeat, we're celebrating life. We are going to cause a stir."

"Damn right we are." Amy looked around proudly. In just a week, the turnaround of the Bella's had been, well, Amy wouldn't have believed it if she hadn't seen it herself.

Beca stopped pacing and looked at them all in turn. "Tonight you guys are gonna crush it. Don't let anything faze you. Keep your chins high and your thoughts on the goal – getting through to the finals. I believe in you. _You_ believe in you."

The girls cheered and Cynthia dismissed them. They would gather back together in three hours to head to the semi-finals, which gave them enough time to get ready, and gave Beca enough time to finally face her dad. She hadn't seen him since he visited her in the hospital, and hadn't spoken to him since their brief phone call at Christmas about a month ago. He didn't even know she was in town again.

Half an hour later, Beca was walking up the drive of her father's house, nervously tapping the pads of her fingers together. Beca wasn't too sure how this was going to go down; would her father welcome her back with open arms? Would he throw her out? How much of a lecture was she going to get on her leaving without a goodbye or asking him about it? Honestly, Beca wasn't sure what she even wanted out of this visit.

A flash of blonde in one of the windows, and Beca had lost her chance to turn back around before her dad knew. The heavy wooden door opened and standing there, in all her husband-stealing glory, was the stepmonster.

"Beca! What a surprise!"

"Sheila," Beca said in a bored tone, tensing as Sheila wrapped her arms around her in a hug. She blew the blonde hair out of her face and pressed her lips together as the older woman stood back and grinned at her.

"Your father is upstairs, I'll go and fetch him."

Stepping into the house, Beca looked around the hallway. She could have sworn the house had gotten more – how to phrase it? - Sheila since her last visit. Walking into the kitchen, Beca dumped her bag by the middle counter, playing with the hem of one sleeve nervously. She heard footsteps behind her and turned to her dad who stood in the doorway, a look of surprise written across his aging features.

"Yeah I can't believe I'm here either." Beca rocked back on her heels, unsure what to say. After the first time she had been in this kitchen on the day she had no one left to turn to, Beca had begun to develop a semi-functional relationship with her father. It wasn't perfect by any means, but the two had been able to hold a conversation for at least 20 minutes and were on the rocky road to recovery. Until, that is, the day she ran away. Now she wasn't sure what they were.

"Beca, wow." Her dad stepped towards her but didn't attempt a hug. He knew her issue with personal space. "Uh, can I get you a drink?"

As her dad prepared her a coffee, he kept glancing at her. Beca tried not to let her discomfort show too much in her expression. "You look good, Bec. Different but good."

Beca touched her hair unconsciously. Her very limited amount of money meant she couldn't really afford a hair cut – and she knew from experience that she could _not _do her own – so it had grown out longer. And despite her pale complexion, the LA sun had tanned her skin. It gave her skin a glow that Beca couldn't help but like when she glanced in the mirror.

"Thanks." Beca accepted her mug and tapped the counter top with her nail erratically.

"So how have you been?" Her dad's expression changed. "Are you in some kind of trouble?"

"No, I'm fine." Beca sipped her coffee and it burnt her tongue. "I'm actually back for the Bella's. They didn't really give me much of a choice."

Her dad nodded, a little hurt that despite all his begging she had never come back to Barden for him. "For the semi-finals tonight?"

"Yeah, I'm going to watch them perform later."

Her dad shifted in his seat, as unsure about what to say as she was. "Seeing Jesse again must have been awkward."

Beca smiled humourlessly. "Depends what you mean by see."

His eyes widened. "You haven't spoken to Jesse yet?"

"I don't really plan to." Beca felt the guilt pooling in her chest, as it had been all week. "The Bella's have been trying to get me to go all week but… It's too difficult."

"Week? You've been here a week?" His eyes fell to examine the pattern of his kitchen counters. "Where have you been staying?"

"Hotel up the road. I didn't want to be an inconvenience to anyone." More guilt. Definitely more guilt.

"When do you go back?"

"Tomorrow afternoon."

"Well you should find some time to talk to Jesse." She frowned at him, sipping her coffee so she didn't have to say anything. "He could do with some closure."

"I'm sure Jesse is just fine without me."

The look in her father's eyes suggested differently.

"You've spoken to him?" Beca was surprised; she didn't think her dad and Jesse had been that close.

"He came to this house every day for a month demanding I tell him where you'd gone." The guilt was actually making her feel queasy. "When he realised I knew just as little as he did, he eventually stopped. Still see him around campus, of course." He paused and looked at Beca's paling face, her jaw having dropped from his news. "He's not really been the same since you left."

Beca coughed as she tried to calm her nerves. She had known from the brief attempts the Bella's made – before she would cut them off and tell them angrily to back off – that Jesse had taken her leaving pretty badly, but this kind of desperation was news to her. In LA, she had always reasoned with herself that Jesse was a great guy; hundreds of girls would fawn over him, ready to take her place. She thought he'd have moved on by now to one of the Treble groupies; despite his ridiculously high levels of nerdyness, he was still a pretty decent catch. Look at all he had done for her.

_"Where am I?"_

_The room was bright, too bright. Beca squeezed her eyes shut. It smelt funny, like bleach and chemicals and death. Trying again, she opened her eyes and looked around the room, taking in the plain walls, the blinded window, the table covered in pills and coffee cups. She was panicking, unsure where she was or what had happened. She tried to remember but all she could think of was a face, his face-_

_"Beca thank God."_

_ That face. She turned her heavy head, letting her mind process his features, his expression, his strange blue clothing. She found his name._

_"Jesse." Her throat was scratchy and raw, and her voice croaked as she spoke. "What-What's going on?"_

_"Everything's okay Beca." He lifted a hand, her hand, and pressed a kiss to her fingers, relief flooding his eyes with tears. "You're at the hospital but you're fine."_

_Beca tried to move; her panic was increasing and all she wanted was to be in his arms, to let his touch soothe her. Why wasn't he holding her? Why was she here in this bed? Why was he crying? "I don't, I don't remember."_

_"I know this must be scary," Jesse whispered to her, his free hand delicately cupping her jaw. "But try and stay calm. You need to keep calm." She registered a fast-paced beeping on the other side of her head. A heart-rate monitor. Taking some deep breaths, she heard the beeping begin to slow._

_Jesse grabbed a cup from beside him, holding the straw to her lips. She eagerly drank the water, hoping to soothe her throat._

_"What happened?"_

_The boy beside her looked away as he put the plastic cup back, but when he turned back to her his eyes still avoided her, instead focussing on their re-joined hands._

_"There was a fire." He hesitated. "You were trying to-"_

_"No," she croaked without really knowing why. The flames were in front of her eyes, taking over her vision. Fear twisted and clamped down on her sore chest; she wanted him to stop. She suddenly didn't want to know at all._

_"You couldn't find Lily. A wall collapsed on you." Her grip on his hand made him wince. "You were knocked out but Amy and I got you out."_

_She watched a tear fall down his cheek and drop onto his top – scrubs, she realised. He was wearing scrubs. "I don't understand." Her heart rate monitor was beeping wildly again and Jesse pressed kisses onto her hand, willing her to stay calm. He couldn't see the blaze that licked at skin, see the smoke that was slowly choking her._

_"You were injured so they brought you here. You're going to have to stay for a couple of days but you should be-"_

_"Lily. She's dead." She could see it in his expression, the way he held himself. He had been trying to find a way to break it to her gently but she didn't need him too. She could feel that Lily was gone._

_"Yes. I'm so sorry."_

_"It's okay. Not your fault."_

_"Beca don't do this, you need to keep relaxed."_

_"I am. I'm fine."_

_She didn't notice the tears at first. When a sob echoed around the room she thought it was someone else. But suddenly her entire body was wracked with her crying, the memories of the night catching up with her and seeming all too real. Jesse fussed over her, out of his seat and trying to get her to relax, but she was already moving, trying to curl up._

_Beca felt skin tear. It took a second for the pain to come, but when it did, she screamed; agonising and hideous screams that drowned out Jesse's panic and the door bashing against the walls as her room filled with people, fighting to calm her down. She saw them push him out the door and she cried out for him, begging him to come back, but he was gone and a strange sensation was working its way up her leg. She felt her body begin to relax against her will and she glared and hurled abuse at the doctor holding the needle, her mind slowly clouding over into total blackness. _

Beca shook her head of the memory and wiped the errant tear away. She turned back to her father, who was watching her sadly. "Trust me dad, Jesse is a lot better off without me screwing up his life again."

* * *

The semi-finals had arrived, and the Bella's and the Treble's were more than a little bit nervous. It had been a long week of nonstop rehearsals and preparation, and both teams were anxious to get their performance done so they could forget all about the tension the week had caused. Tired and running on adrenaline, the rivals made their way to the contestants' area.

For the first time, the Treble makers weren't so confident. They all knew Jesse had been having difficulty, and although they were ready, it was the Bella's that worried them. They had been much more secretive than normal in the past week, rushing to rehearsals with their heads down and whispering amongst themselves, going quiet when they passed a Treble. It was putting them off and made them antsy. They had something hidden up their sleeve and no amount of eavesdropping had revealed their plan.

The Bella's were worried about the Treble's too, mainly due to their lack of confidence. Their air of self-seen superiority had diminished some and it had the Bella's on edge as to what they were up to. Every time Amy saw Jesse, he looked overworked and exhausted, the stress dulling his usually cheerful demeanour to an all-time low. What was going on behind those doors? Did he know about Beca? Tensions between the rivals had been growing all week as they became more suspicious of each other, and tonight would be the showdown that revealed all.

"Bella's," Jesse greeted shortly as the Treble's arrived to find the girls already preparing backstage.

"Trebles," Cynthia said in a bored voice. The girls all crossed their arms, ready for any confrontation they tried to create. The group on stage sung their last note, and the crowd applauded loudly. Everyone's nerves spiked; they needed to be good and they needed to be better than each other.

All too soon, the emcee was calling for the Trebles, and the red jacketed group ran onto the stage. Jesse was the only one to glance back, winking at Amy in good luck. She gave him a thumbs up and as he turned to the audience, he plastered a grin onto his face, his friends building the rhythm as he got ready to sing.

_Hell is gone and heaven's here,  
There's nothing left for you to fear.  
Shake your ass come over here,  
Now scream!_

Jesse tried to put his all into the performance, he really did. But too many thoughts were swirling around his head, too many worries making him paranoid. Jesse reasoned with himself that it would all be over soon; keep strong and confident for a few more minutes and then he was done. He could forget about all of this and finally get some sleep. That would help him relax.

The boys converged to the front of the stage and as Donald created the beat, they all began to sing the chorus.

_So come on let me entertain you,  
Let me entertain you._

Peter took over, walking along the edge of stage with his shoulders back confidently. Jesse had given him the solo so that he wouldn't mess up choreography, but he was actually impressed at how well the younger guy performed.

_Life's too short for you to die,  
So grab yourself an alibi.  
Heaven knows your mother lied,  
Mon Cher._

_Separate your right from wrongs,  
Come and sing a different song,  
The kettles on so don't be long,  
Mon Cher._

Hidden in the very back, Beca watched as the Treble's performed confidently to the crowd. The music choice was different, and the judges were noticing it, but Beca liked it. It was fresh and seemed to suit the more relaxed group. But the different music choice was because of a different Jesse. She could see it, as he performed. He was forcing it. He was trying too hard. Undetectable to anyone else, she could see his uninspired performance from a mile off. She wondered briefly what it was that had him so disinterested.

The music swelled and changed into a faster rhythm, and Donald swaggered to the front, confidence oozing from him as he sung to the girls in the audience, pointing to them and flirting.

_About to be a bigger star than my mum thought,  
'Cause every day I got a groupie at my front door.  
Now I drive past the bus I used to run for.  
Where's my fucking clap, where's my encore?_

_I walk alone 'cause I was born alone.  
I chirpse her just for fun, I never ever call her phone.  
I leave her in the club, I never ever walk her home.  
D, you're the fucking foundation, I'm the cornerstone  
I'm born famous, I'm sorta known,  
If you son doesn't, I bet your daughter knows.  
Check out my visual, check out my audio,  
Extraordinary, yo, hope you enjoyed the show._

Their set finished with a self-made '_boom_' and the crowd went wild. Beca clapped along, her eyes tracking Jesse across the stage as he bowed and ran off. Why was she so concerned? She tried to shake it off. Jesse wasn't her concern any more.

"Back and ready to take back their crown, here they are, the Barden Bella's!"

The Bella's walked on to the stage to applause, two whistles sounding as Stacie waved to Chloe and Aubrey in the audience. They spread out across the stage, their backs turned to the audience. It was now or never; it was time to do Lily proud. In the audience, Chloe, Aubrey and Beca held their breath. The pitch pipe blew and Cynthia began to sing as she spun around, the girls joining in soon after, as they rotated their hips to their beat.

_Where's all my soul sisters,  
Let me hear your flow sisters.  
Hey sister, go sister, soul sister, flow sister. (Uh)  
Hey sister, go sister, soul sister, flow sister. (Oh)_

Stacie began, turning to the audience and swinging her hips as she walked towards the crowd. The rest of the Bella's turned one by one, creating the strong back beat together.

_He met marmalade down in old Moulin Rouge,  
Strutting her stuff in the street.  
She said hello hey Jo,  
You wanna give it a go? Oh!_

As the chorus flowed, Chloe looked around the audience. People were singing along, smiling. She thrilled at seeing the judges nodding to the beat; they were paying attention and Chloe couldn't be happier. Beca had done it; she'd made them a masterpiece.

As the beat slowed, the girls came back together, joining up in a long line. Ashley took the lead as she sat on the edge if the stage, swinging her legs to the beat.

_I say the same thing twice,  
I'm awkward when I speak.  
Ain't got the perfect smile,  
Don't turn heads on my street.  
Trying to be a superstar like everybody else.  
But being myself is something I do well._

Stacie and Amy lifted her up as they began to duet in the chorus, their voices blending together as they sung to the crowd, pointing out and having fun with it.  
_  
Express yourself_

_See it's not what you look like  
When you doing what you doing  
Express yourself_

Again, the beat slowed, and the Bella's joined hands, their heads lowered as they all sang the lyrics together.

_Just call on me brother  
When you need a hand  
We all need somebody to lean on  
I just might have so problem  
That you'll understand  
We all need somebody to lean on_

_Lean on me  
When you're not strong  
I'll be your friend  
I'll help you carry on  
For it won't be long  
'Til I'm gonna need  
Somebody to lean on_

Amy raised her head and walked forward, beginning to sing the "doo-doo do doo!" on their next song, the group slowly dispersing to again spread across the stage as they bounced to the beat, dancing freely.

_Rock the party,  
Dance everybody.  
Make it hot in this party,  
Don't stop move your body._

_Everybody dance now!_

Beca couldn't help but laugh as she watched her friends have fun, all of them getting caught up in the performance. They were great and they knew it, the audience clapping along to the beat. Stacie, Ashley and Jessica came together to sing the next bit.

_I came to rock this party,  
'Cause I can make you feel alright.  
Sweet boy you're rocking your body,  
Rocking straight through the night.  
Uh oh do you want this body?  
Uh h do you want it now?  
Sweet body rocking your body,  
Cause imma make you mine tonight._

_Doo doo do doo, doo doo do doo_

Everybody dance now!

The crowd roared with applause as they finished and Beca looked on proudly. In a week, they had managed to really pull it out of the bag. She clapped along and grinned as Cynthia caught her eye and blew her a kiss. Beca reached out, catching it dramatically. The girls filed off stage and Beca breathed a sigh of relief. Her job here was done.

The Bella's ran past the suspicious Treble's in a fit of laughter and cheering. They were riding the high of their set, all of them elated at how well it had gone down with the judges and the crowd. They didn't notice how the Treble Maker's watched them in confusion. They didn't see the scepticism, or that Peter had seen the blown kiss and was struggling to figure out why he recognised the girl who had caught it.

"That shouldn't have happened." Donald shook his head from beside Jesse, arms crossed over his hoody. "How did they pull that off?"

"They've only performed like that once." Jesse was lost in thought, trying to put the pieces together. He thought back to his first final, watching from the audience as the Bella's made history. He couldn't process it, couldn't grasp the how behind what had so obviously happened.

"You don't think..." Benjie hesitated, not wanting to say it. But Jesse was nodding, having already come to the same worrying conclusion.

"Beca's back."

* * *

**I'm feeling tense over that and I wrote it! So next chapter is the one you've all begging me for, and here I am, delivering. I hope you all liked this chapter and didn't think the mixes were horrific.**

**Songs used in this chapter:  
****_Let Me Entertain You - _****Robbie Williams  
****_Pass Out _****- Tinie Tempah  
****_Lady Marmalade - _****Lil Kim, Pink, Christina Aguilera, Mya  
****_Express Yourself - _****Labrinth  
****_Lean On Me - _****Bill Withers  
****_Rock This Party _****- Bob Sinclar**

**Also, a fun fact that I believe to be a fact (I could be wrong and then I've just embarrassed myself) is that Skylar Astin auditioned for the movie with Lean On Me so yeah, look at me, incorporating cool stuff.**

**As I write a few chapters ahead, I'm at a bit where I've realised I might need to change the rating of this to M. The scene is quite important for the story but if any of you have any issues with this then please either mention it in a review or PM me, because I will rewrite if I need to! Okay I've rambled enough I feel.**

**Next chapter...  
****_Angering reaching critical, Jesse lashed out at the wall, kicking it hard. Why had he been like that? He'd had the chance to get answers, to get closure, and what had he done? He'd told her to fuck off and never come back._**


	6. Pocket Full Of Surprises

**So because I'm lovely, I'm updating twice tonight. You all demanded it so here it is, but just know, I warned you. This may not be what you were expecting...**

**It's possible I won't be able to update tomorrow - I will try but I'm afraid no promises. If I don't, well, you have an extra day to plot ways to kill me.**

* * *

**6 - POCKET FULL OF SURPRISES **

Beca could actually taste the excitement in the air as the Bella's climbed off their bus harbouring their newest trophy. The entire drive back to campus, they had been screeching and singing loudly and it was no different as they ran towards the campus bar – they were in the mood to celebrate and they had every reason to. Beca laughed as Stacie jumped on Cynthia's back and Josephine ran around them screaming with the trophy in her hands. They were over the moon and Beca felt her heart swell with pride.

Realising where she was, Beca looked out across the campus, for the first time actually paying attention to it. All week she had been sneaking into the rehearsal place, so she hadn't been able to appreciate it before. Barden University was beautiful, she noted as she tried to see it all through the dim lighting of a few street lamps. It was green and tall and felt… Homely. Beca missed her home here. She had fallen in love with it and there was something about being there, about seeing all the buildings and the trees and the pathways that made her feel like it was welcoming her back with open arms.

Looking back towards her friends, Beca called out to them. "Hey nerds!"

They turned to look at her, many already knowing where this was heading.

"So I'm going to head back to my hotel, gotta make sure I'm ready for my flight tomorrow night. I uh, I want to say well done. You guys were just… You were amazing. You really, really deserve that trophy." Beca smiled at them all because they all seemed so sad. "You're going to smash it at finals, just have faith in yourselves!"

Goodbye hugs were shared and Beca could feel the discomfort setting in. Being here at Barden was risky. She didn't know who would see her and who it might get back to. She had done her part, had helped the Bella's, and now it was time to head to her real home in LA.

Amy hugged her last, her usual tongue-in-cheek nature suppressed as she spoke to her friend. "I want to see you, before you go. Maybe tomorrow?"

Beca shrugged. "Why not, what do you want to do?"

"There's a bar a few blocks from here called Hector's, we could go for some drinks?"

"Sounds good. Meet you there at about 1?"

"Perfect." Amy's smile seemed different, like she was hiding something, the same smile she had when Beca had walked into their apartment and found Amy trying to hide the fact she had broken Beca's bed (to this day she has never asked how). But Beca ignored the nagging feeling in the back of her mind. Just a few drinks, and then she was home. What could possibly go wrong?

As Beca began the walk back to her hotel, she let the gentle breeze calm her. Today had been difficult and draining; not only had she seen her father again, but watching her ex-boyfriend up on that stage again… It had messed with her emotions, left her feeling vulnerable, and as she looked up to the clear night's sky, she was transported back in time by her mind.

_"Beca this is completely ridiculous, it can only end in some form of excruciating pain," Jesse tried to say seriously but his amusement leaked through. He grabbed onto her hand, letting her pull him up through the window. Jesse had been living in the Treble house for 8 days – which Beca had slept in for the past 6 – and had very reluctantly let his girlfriend of 4 months plan a surprise for him. Which, to her delight and his increasing certainty of death, involved climbing out of a window and having a midnight picnic on the roof._

_"Would you relax? The people in your movies do this all the time, you should be loving this."_

_Beca dropped the canvas bag full of their food at her feet, awkwardly arranging herself so that she was sitting down with her arms supporting her weight. She looked up at him, grinning at the adorable little wrinkle of worry forming between his eyebrows._

_"This is why you don't get to pick what we do." But Jesse sat down beside her anyway, lying back with his arm behind his head. She lay down beside him and they both looked up at the stars above them. It was a cloudless night and they twinkled prettily in the warm air._

_"You know, I'm kind of an expert on stars." His tone was casual, his eyes focussed on the sky._

_"Oh are you now?" Beca said in amused surprise._

_"Totally. See that one there?" He pointed up to a cluster of stars and Beca nodded. "That's Orion's Belt. Fun fact; it doesn't actually look anything like a belt."_

_"Yeah I can see that." Beca bit her lip but let him continue._

_"And that one, that's Throwback, the only ogre to ever spit over three wheat fields."_

_Beca scoffed. "Right, of course."_

_"And look, there's Blood-nut the Flatulant!" Jesse pointed up again, his tone perfectly serious. "You can guess what he's famous for."_

_"Now I know you're making this up…" Beca muttered dryly despite finding him very entertaining. Not that she'd ever tell him that._

_Jesse couldn't believe how perfect her comeback had been._

_"No, look, there he is," Jesse traced a path between the stars and then pointed to another cluster, "and there's the group of hunters running away from his stench."_

_Beca elbowed him in the ribs. "I cannot believe you are quoting Shrek at me."_

_He turned his head and met her eyes, his amusement making his eyes shine just like the stars. "I find it so hot that you know that."_

_Beca grabbed the bag of food and shoved it at him as he laughed at her. "Just eat the cheese and shut up."_

_"No donkey, that's the moon."_

_"Call me donkey again and I will push you off this roof myself."_

Jesse watched her shoulders slump in a sigh and continue to walk away. Yes, he had figured it out that she was back, but somehow, seeing her… Seeing her made it real. Seeing her made his heart hurt at the fact that she was blatantly avoiding seeing him. No, that she didn't want to see him. Had their relationship meant that little to her? Had she run away and forgotten all about him? He felt the anger sweep through him. Even if she had obviously gotten over him, didn't she feel even the slightest urge to talk to him again?

Benjie's hand on his shoulder dragged him out of his furious thoughts. He nodded to whatever it was that Benjie said and crossed his arms over his chest, standing up straight from his lean against their bus. He turned instead towards home; he had no desire to be around the Beca-hiding Bella's tonight.

* * *

As she pushed the door open with her shoulder the next day, a small bell rang over head to announce her arrival. She sighed, hating the feeling of eyes on her, the attention being something she especially didn't want to draw here. Craning her neck, she looked for Amy, which was a struggle in the dim lighting. She was 15 minutes late due to a stressful phone call with her father, and was glad that she would get the chance to have a drink and talk to her friend. There was a stage in front of her where someone was performing, an instrumental that alerted her ears as she recognised the song. Again she sighed, unable to see Amy, so instead she headed towards the bar.

"Hey!" she called to the bartender. A guy with a boyish face turned to her, and she rolled her eyes at the stereotypical act of polishing a glass with a towel. As he walked toward her, he flicked the towel over his shoulder and eyed her approvingly. Again, she rolled her eyes.

"What can I get you sweetheart?" He winked at her. _Winked_. She bit her tongue and suppressed the scathing retort; she needed his help and biting his head off would not help her out.

"I'm looking for-"

Suddenly, the performer began to sing again. His voice was beautiful, too beautiful. No, too familiar. She could feel it in her gut, feel it messing with her head. She turned to the stage, and there he was, strumming the guitar as he sung a haunting rendition of The Calling's _Wherever You Will Go_. Her breathing hitched.

"Jesse," she gasped.

The bartender frowned. "He's right up there..." But he could tell she was no longer listening. She fell into the barstool behind her heavily. Jesse continued to sing, and her heart thumped wildly. His singing had always affected her, but this time it was more raw, more _him._ It was sending her heart rate to dangerous new speeds.

She didn't know what to do. Everything about the situation told her to run like the wind, but her feet were rooted to the spot. Beca knew she had been set up, that Amy had intended this to happen, but couldn't bring herself to feel much at all about it. Jesse had put her under his spell and she was trapped, completely under his control.

Freddy glanced between her and Jesse, a puzzled expression crossing his features. He didn't know much about his co-worker, but one thing he had known for sure since he met him – the guy had suffered at the hands of a girl, and he would bet everything he owned that this was her.

Beca fought to scramble back her 'I don't give a shit' attitude, her face falling back into a bored mask to cover her still erratic heartbeat and the sudden flush that she seemed to be having. She wished she had her trusty headphones to block out his voice and she cursed herself for leaving them in her hotel room. As he came to the end of his song, she knew that this was it – if she didn't leave now, she was going to have to face him.

"Thank you, thank you," Jesse said with a shy smile as the crowd began to clap his performance. He rose from his stool and placed the guitar back in its stand to the side of the stage. Glancing up as he walked back to his spot behind the bar, he noticed something was off. Freddy was staring at him from his place behind the taps, his eyes wide with questions. Confused, he frowned. Freddy nodded his head towards the girl in front of him who staring at him in a panic.

He ran a hand down his face. "Shit."

Beca was stuck. She didn't have enough time to make it back out the door before he reached her, but the last thing she needed was to have this awkward conversation. She watched him stop in his tracks as he realised she was here. Was he mad? He looked mad. Beca couldn't look away; her body was betraying her in her biggest time of need.

She was going to make a break for it, he could tell. He saw her eyes flickering towards the door as he walked off the stage, his path still unsure_. Typical_, he thought bitterly, _always running_. He knew he could let her go, give her what she wanted, but he also knew this was an opportunity. One he couldn't really refuse to pass up on.

"Wow. Beca." _Could you have started that off any more lame?_ Jesse chastised himself.

She shut her eyes and breathed deeply, hoping by some tiny chance that her ex-boyfriend was talking to another Beca who just happened to be right beside her.

Honestly, she didn't really know what she had expected him to say to her. Supposedly make some clever line, a bad joke or a nerdy reference. That's what he would have done, back then in the studio, or on the grass, or when he waltzed into her room without knocking. In comparison, his greeting seemed a bit... Flat, but she figured that it was probably because he was as nervous and unsure as she was. This wasn't exactly something she had planned to happen; that had been Amy's job it seemed.

"Good to know you remember my name," she retorted, mentally smacking herself on the head as soon as the words spilled out. Old habits die hard, but what a time for them to rear their head!

"And good to know you haven't changed." Attempting a smile, he tried to find a comfortable place to look that wouldn't give him complicated feelings. She stared at him for a moment, trying to remember if his eyes had always been so damned gorgeous. For all the time she had spent admiring them back then, she definitely hadn't remembered them well enough to give them justice.

"So this is weird," she blurted out.

"Yeah." Jesse laughed, attempting to ease the tension. His head tilted and this time, he managed a semi-sincere smile. "You look good."

She bit her lip to hold back a smile. "You too." It was quiet for a beat while she looked down at her boots.

"So you're trying to get signed?" Beca felt stupid, what was she even doing?

"No, no," Jesse laughed again. "I work here! When it's quiet I go up, have a sing." He wrung his fingers together. It seemed they were going to skirt around the obvious for as long as possible. "What are you up to these days?"

"Interning." She scrunched her nose up, but didn't say anymore.

"Want a drink?"

"God yes," she replied too quickly.

Jesse stepped behind the bar, feeling strangely safer with it between them. Beca cautiously turned in her stool, her fingers thrumming the dark wood of the bar to the beat of the song playing from the stage.

"What'll it be?" Jesse spread his arms to lean against the bar, a badly attempted smile trying to appear on his face. Beca could tell he wanted her gone as much as she did – why had she accepted the drink?!

"Just a beer."

Jesse set to work getting her drink, and she couldn't help watching the fluidity with which he worked. It was simple, but he made it look like a graceful dance, effortless and breath-taking. She coughed and looked away to the stage, taking a second to close her eyes and clear her head.

The thump of glass on wood brought her back to earth, and she grabbed it and downed half, her nerves getting the better of her. Jesse watched how anxious she seemed to be around him. He couldn't blame her; if it wouldn't cause him to lose his job, he'd had drunk half the bar's contents already.

Beca hadn't changed at all, he noted. Everything about her was the same as when they had met. Physically, she was still beautiful. Her hair was longer, but same slightly scary eyeliner, same ear spike. Internally, she had the walls. The walls he'd spent so long breaking down, the walls he'd been allowed past to see her true, dazzling soul. He sighed as he realised that since their break up, the walls had gone back up, and he would bet that they were stronger than ever.

"I know you were there," he suddenly announced as she swallowed another mouthful. She coughed as her beer went down the wrong way. "Yesterday, at finals."

"Oh." Beca was surprised by his admission.

"I figured you were hiding from me."

"I didn't want to..." She looked up from her beer and he saw a slight blush on her cheeks. He waited for her to carry on, his expression stony. "I thought it would be too…"

"Awkward," he finished. She shrugged; she had been going for painful but awkward worked too.

"I knew though." Jesse leant on the bar with his elbows, his hands clutched together. "I can spot your work from a mile off."

"I..." She was about to lie, but couldn't bring herself to. This was Jesse, and no matter what happened between them at the end, he always been a good friend to her. He was the first person who actually cared enough to try with her. She owed him more than lies.

"I didn't want to hurt you." She frowned as she slowly turned her glass between her hands. "I thought I was doing you a favour."

Jesse felt his anger flare. "Tip toeing around me isn't doing me a favour. What you did was be too selfish and too scared to face me after-"

"Jesse this really isn't-"

"You shouldn't be here Beca." His stare was hard and cold. Beca sat back slightly, astounded at how angry he seemed to be. "This isn't your home anymore. Go back to LA and follow your precious dream. I just hope it was all worth it."

And with that, Jesse stalked off to the basement, leaving Beca stunned and close to tears. Jesse had never been so mean to her. She knew she deserved it, probably even more than that, but Jesse was _never _like that when they were together. He had been good and kind and accepting of her every flaw. He had been angry at her like that. She realised that she had made him like that – she had hurt him more deeply than she'd thought, and all because of a desire for some space.

Anger reaching critical, Jesse lashed out at the wall, kicking it hard. Why had he been like that? He'd had the chance to get answers, to get closure, and what had he done? He'd told her to fuck off and never come back.

Jesse knew he had unresolved feelings about the whole thing despite the extensive time that had passed. But the problem was that Beca wasn't just a girl he'd dated – he had loved her with everything he had. And she had left him, abandoned him with just a vague note in explanation. Better than anybody Jesse knew the pain Beca had experienced over Lily's death. The guilt that she felt. He had tried to be there for her, but she hadn't let him. Her walls had already gone up and she had shut him out. Again.

He wouldn't let that happen again. He needed his answers and one way or another, he was going to get them.

Jesse ran back up to the bar, his eyes desperately searching for Beca.

"Dude she just left – if you run I think you can catch her." Freddy appeared at his side, pushing him towards the exit. Jesse threw a grateful smile over his shoulder as he ran out the door, trying to spot her in the moonlight.

"Beca!" he shouted. Across the road, he saw someone turn. There she was, tears glistening on her cheeks. Waving at her, Jesse jogged towards her. He couldn't let her go like this. This was not how he wanted them to end. Her face was morphing, her eyes wide, her mouth opening to shout. He didn't understand. She was pointing and he followed her finger-

Blinding lights. Brakes squealing. A girl's scream. Darkness.

* * *

**Just so you know, this emotional whirlwind I seem to be putting you all through is with purpose. This may seem dramatic and a bit stupid now, but know that there is an incredibly giant reason as to the relevance of this.**

**Next chapter...**

_**"Jesse misses you. He wouldn't talk to us about you leaving, but every time he comes home, I can see it in him. He misses you more than he'll care to admit to himself."**_

_**Beca crossed her arms. "Jesse literally walked into fire for me, and I re-payed him by abandoning him. He should hate me."**_


	7. Here's Looking At You, Jesse

**Okay so last chapter was pretty tense yeah? Well you may now relax because the story is about to get a serious injection of adorable over the next few chapters.**

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**7 – HERE'S LOOKING AT YOU, JESSE**

Beca had never really understood the concept of time slowing down until that moment. The way his hand seemed to be barely moving as he waved; the way his head turned towards the car that seemed to be travelling at a snail's pace. How her hands raised almost comically slow towards him as she tried to somehow save him.

But the worst part was watching it hit Jesse - she could see the ripple of its force as it went through him, how his face scrunched up and his arms reached forward. She saw the smoke from the tyres as it tried to stop all too late. And as he fell towards the ground, she saw his eyes close almost peacefully, like he was ready for whatever came next.

Then time sped up again and her ears were ringing from the screaming she realised was coming from her. Her legs were running towards him, her hands reaching for him as she fell to her knees. She vaguely noticed herself shout for help and didn't see the driver of the car scrambling out, his phone already to his ear.

"Jesse?" she cried. "Jesse can you hear me? Wake up! Jesse!" Her hands were on his face. Beneath her fingertips she could feel his heartbeat. He was alive. She tried to breathe properly but her lungs were failing her. The present was mixing with the past and she could feel her whole body vibrating from the force of it. The fire flashed in front of her eyes and no amount of blinking would stop the memories leaking into her view.

Freddy was there. He was trying to calm her down, trying to gather all the information he could. Jesse was still lying there, his eyes closed, his body still. She refused to move her hands. She had to keep making sure his heart was beating.

A paramedic was trying to talk to her. She realised she was hysterical. A small wet patch was there on Jesse's chest from her tears. She wondered if he was bleeding. She wondered if he could hear her.

They were pulling her away. She fought them but they were stronger. Freddy's arms were around her chest, holding her arms down. He was talking to the paramedic. She heard his name. She heard her name. They were assessing him. Something about being stable. Beca felt her legs about to give way.

Her name again. She heard Freddy say something about a wife. He was pushing her towards the ambulance. They had loaded Jesse inside. They were flashing a light in his eyes. One held his hand out towards her and pulled her inside.

"Beca?" She turned to the ageing paramedic who smiled sweetly at her. They were moving now, she realised. She looked down and saw her shaking hands were clutching Jesse's arm tightly. She wondered if he could feel it.

"Your husband is okay, it doesn't seem like there's any life threatening issues here. He'll need some scans but he's not in any mortal danger." Beca nodded. Freddy must have said she was married to Jesse so she could go with him. Family only, she remembered them saying. She looked at Jesse's face. He looked so peaceful.

"He won't die?" she croaked. The paramedic shook his head and rubbed her back comfortingly.

After arriving at the hospital, it seemed Beca's fake marital status had very little influence. Jesse was taken to be examined properly and she was told to wait in the waiting room, a load of forms thrust her way to apparently keep her busy for the next few weeks. Needing to keep her mind busy, she flicked through, answering everything she could. She was pleasantly surprised at just how much she seemed to remember. Allergies and other personal information came so easily to her.

"Mrs Swanson?" Beca was focussed a moment before she realised they must be talking to her. She glanced up at the doctor who was standing beside her, his comforting stance over practised and not really that comforting to her.

"Beca, please," she corrected, her voice breaking slightly.

"Jesse is in surgery." Beca felt her insides clench. "He's dislocated his shoulder so it's just a simple routine procedure to get it back where it belongs. He's cracked a few ribs but they should heal on their own, though they will cause him some considerable pain for a few weeks. We want to keep him overnight because he bashed his head pretty hard but there doesn't seem to be any brain damage. He should be fine to go home tomorrow."

Beca tried to process it all. "He's okay?"

The doctor smiled at her, his hand on her arm. "He's going to be absolutely fine. A nurse will let you know when you can go and see him, he should be up and talking in about an hour."

Beca felt her lungs burning from the breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding. She released it, relief washing her over. Jesse was okay. He'd live. He wasn't dead. He was okay.

Beca thanked the doctor and he left her to continue waiting. Trying to stop her mind racing, she turned back to the forms clutched in her hands. There were important things she couldn't answer that she knew only two people could help with. Summoning up as much courage as she could muster, Beca pulled out her phone and called his parents.

"Hello?"

"Mrs Swanson, it's Beca. Beca Mitchell."

"Beca, what's surprise." Jesses mum apparently did not welcome her call.

"I know this is very awkward but right now I need you to forget how you feel about me." She paused, unsure how to continue. "Jesse's in the hospital." His mum gasped in horror and she rushed to calm her. "He's fine, they've taken him to surgery to relocate his shoulder but other than that he seems to be okay. He should be up and talking in an hour so please don't worry."

"Not worry? My son is in hospital!" Beca heard anxious talking in the background. "How did this happen?!"

"He was hit by a car." Beca tried to keep her voice calm. "It was my fault, I came to see him and it just went horribly and -"

"Beca? It's Jim."

"Hi Mr Swanson." Beca could hear sobbing in the background from his wife. "I know this is isn't exactly a fantastic situation but I could really do with some help."

"What do you need?" Jim was straight to the point and Beca felt her anxiety calm slightly. She had always preferred Jim's matter-of-fact attitude to Jesse's mothers over-protective pestering.

"They've handed me a bunch of forms and I can't fill everything in."

"Tell me what you need."

Beca listed off the information she needed, writing down everything carefully. In the background she could hear Jesse's mother, Lisa, fussing over getting in the car. Beca guessed they were on their way, which since they lived only a state over, she figured would mean they'd be here by the time he woke up.

After Beca had everything she needed, the Swanson's promised to see her within the hour. Beca wondered if she should stay. Jesse probably didn't want her there, and she imagined his family would welcome her even less.

An hour later, after much pacing and debating, Beca heard her name called in surprise. She turned to see Lisa heading towards her, and was surprised when the older woman pulled her in for a hug. Jim followed closely, smiling at Beca in apology for his wife.

"Is he awake?" Lisa pulled back, arranging her coat nervously.

"They said a nurse would collect me when he did." She glanced up at Lisa's eyes which were staring down at her. She could feel the woman judging her. Beca scuffed her foot against the ground in discomfort. "I um, I should probably go…" Beca grabbed her discarded coat, but Jim stopped her.

"Don't be silly Beca. You've been here for him the whole time" - Lisa scoffed – "I think the least my son needs to do is thank you."

"Really, it was nothing. I don't think he'd appreciate me being here anywhere." Beca averted her gaze to the floor. She was trapped and she wasn't sure what to do. She wanted to stay and make sure Jesse was okay, be able to see his eyes and know that he truly was okay. But would he want to see her? She had gotten him hit by a car. People don't exactly just forgive and forget that kinda stuff.

Just then, a nurse came towards them. "Mrs Swanson?"

Beca and Lisa both answered yes and Beca winced, not needing to look to know the look of confusion on Jesse's parents faces.

The nurse glanced between the two and seemed to go with addressing both of them. "Jesse's awake and asking for…" She paused, unsure of who to address. "He's asking for Beca?"

"Beca is about to leave so I'll go." Lisa followed after the nurse without so much as a glance back, but Jim stopped beside her, his hand on her shoulder. They both stared out towards the corridor Lisa had disappeared down.

"Thank you for staying with him."

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean any of this to happen." Beca could feel the tears again. She swore she hadn't stopped crying since Chloe had turned up at her door a week ago. "This whole thing is so messed up."

Jim seemed to pause. "Jesse misses you. He wouldn't talk to us about you leaving, but every time he comes home, I can see it in him. He misses you more than he'll care to admit to himself."

Beca crossed her arms. "Jesse literally walked into fire for me, and I re-payed him by abandoning him. He should hate me."

Jim sighed beside her. "You should stay. It seems you want to talk to him, and really, you have no better opportunity than him being unable to move from a hospital bed."

Beca chuckled humourlessly. "Thanks Jim. But I think it'd be best if I just go. I'm supposed to be half way across the country by now. Being here has just caused a ton of trouble."

Jim squeezed her shoulder and walked away towards the corridor. Beca was left alone, standing in the waiting room with no idea what to do next. She knew she should leave – she had her life to return to, she was supposed to be at work tomorrow. She'd told herself just one week would be fine, but somehow in a week she had caused quite the ruckus.

The emotions of the past week all rushing at her at once, Beca felt her stomach churn. She ran towards the nearby bathroom just in time, her empty stomach simply dispelling bile and water. Her throat burned and her eyes stung. It felt like her body was caving in on itself.

Beca walked towards the sinks to splash her face, and jumped at the face she saw in the mirror. Smudges of eyeliner down her cheeks did nothing to hide the red blotching around her eyes. Dried tears stained her face. Her lips were pale and her hair stuck up in odd directions. She looked… Well, like she'd been in some kind of accident. She wondered how insane she must have looked to Jesse's parents.

Beca patted down her face, wiping away the eyeliner stains with her fingers. She tied her hair up in a messy bun, needing it off her face. Was it just her or was it really hot in here? She ran the cold tap over her wrists, staring at herself in the mirror. She still looked a state, and it seemed to reflect her emotional state well.

A floor up, Jesse was trying to calm his mother down. Her fussing was driving him insane and he wondered if the nurses could come and knock him out again. His dad was standing by the door, looking at his son thoughtfully. Jesse wondered how bad he looked. He felt terrible.

"Mum please, would you stop that," Jesse tried to swat her hand away, wincing as the movement shifted his shoulder. She opened her mouth to retort, but stopped, leaning back slightly.

"How on Earth did you get hit by a car?" she asked angrily. Jesse could see her concern in her eyes and felt sorry for her. He imagined the phone call wasn't exactly pleasant for her.

"I…" Jesse huffed, his memory still a bit foggy. "Beca walked into the bar. I, I was mad at her. She had been in town for about a week and she'd been avoiding me. I flipped and shouted at her." Jesse's eyebrows knitted together, the effort of remembering giving him a headache. "She left and I chased after her to apologise and then…"

"Oh Jesse," his mother whispered with tears in her eyes.

"Mum I'm fine, really." Jesse felt groggy and just wanted to sleep. His dad walked to the other side of his bed and patted him on the knee.

"Son, I know Beca hurt you," he began as Jesse shifted uncomfortably. This was not something he wanted to talk about. "But maybe it's time to forgive her."

Lisa scoffed. "Hardly."

"The nurse said she never left your side. Apparently they had to physically remove her from you so the paramedics could examine you."

Jesse looked up at his father in surprise. "Beca?"

"It seems she claimed to be your wife so she could be with you in the ambulance. She's been in the waiting room for hours." Jim glanced to his wife who was glaring at him. "Beca's the one who called us."

Jesse didn't know what to say, how to react. Beca had been there the whole time? He thought she might have run again. But no, Beca had stayed with him. She'd called his mother who seemed to be very cold towards even the mention of his ex-girlfriend. Jesse smiled in amusement as he imagined how awkward that must have been.

"Beca's gone now, so don't you worry yourself." Lisa patted his hand and tried to smile.

"Well, where did she go?" Jesse tried to sit up but hissed at the pain it caused.

"I think she's trying to sort out another flight, she said something about how she was supposed to be half way across the country." Jim was challenging his wife's glare. Jesse needed to know that Beca hadn't abandoned him this time.

A nurse popped her head around the door of Jesse's room, telling them that visiting hours were over. As Jesse's mum fussed and tried to arrange his room for his stay overnight, Jesse thought about Beca. He didn't need to imagine how scared she must have been; he had been in her shoes the night of the fire as he dug her out of the rubble. The thought of how he had felt that night made his heart tight.

But Beca had left. Yes she may have stayed but what if she was just waiting for his parents to get here before she could leave? If she really cared, wouldn't she have stayed to see him? Jesse exhaled sadly, forcing a smile as his parents left for their hotel room. They promised to return tomorrow morning and as the door closed, Jesse welcomed the quiet.

Needing a distraction from his thoughts, Jesse grabbed his phone from his bedside table with his good arm. Checking through, he felt guilty as he saw all the missed calls from the Treble's. Deciding Benjie would be the best to call, he hit dial, smiling at the nurse who walked past and frowned at his rule breaking.

"Jesse!" Benjie answered almost instantly, relief colouring his voice. "We've been worried sick, we got a call from Freddy and he said you were hit by a car!"

"Benjie I'm fine." Jesse tried to keep him tone light. "A little battered but I'll be fine in a few weeks. They're keeping me overnight but I'll be back tomorrow."

"Is it true Beca was there? Freddy said that she was with you in the ambulance."

Okay so this phone call hadn't really succeeded in taking his thoughts off of Beca. "Um, yeah, she was. She's gone now apparently."

Benjie paused for a moment. "That's probably good. Beca complicates things."

Jesse hummed in response. Yes, she complicated things, but a part of him wished she had stayed, just so he could talk to her again. His mind flashed back to her face before the car hit him, the horror there as she screamed.

Jesse spoke to Benjie for a few minutes before managing to get his best friend to stop worrying and pass on his news to the guys. Putting his phone back on the bedside table, Jesse closed his eyes, tired from the day's impact. Beca was gone and Jesse needed to stop thinking about her and instead, focus on his recovery.

_That shouldn't be hard_, he thought sarcastically.

* * *

**I've been watching Anna Kendrick movies for the past 3 days and I swear its made me so emotional. It has also helped inspire me for a new story which I'm starting to write now so if you're interested I'll post more info later on.**

**next chapter...**

**_" I know that Lily's death was hard for you. I know you blame yourself. But in times like that, when the grief is that overwhelming, you need someone Beca." Jesse reached out and pulled at her chin, forcing her to look at him. "You needed me."_**

**_"So much that it hurt."_**


	8. Kiss From a Beca

**So here it is! Enjoy and please review :)**

**THERE WILL BE NO UPDATE TOMORROW. I'm going back to university so will not be able to post the next chapter, however, I will post two chapters on Monday if I have the time. I'm sorry but this chapter should make it up to you!**

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**8 – KISS FROM A BECA**

Beca had been doing a lot of compromising lately.

She had compromised her safe little bubble by figuring one little glance back to the past wouldn't hurt. She had compromised her rule about not looking back by letting Chloe guilt-trip her into returning to Barden for a week. She had compromised her innate urge to run before things got bad by staying for the semi-finals, and compromised her not-completely-stable emotional stability by talking to Jesse. And now, she was compromising her entire life back in LA by standing in Jesse's hospital room, watching him snore gently.

All because she had thought it wouldn't hurt that much. Great job there, Beca.

Jesse looked terrible. His right shoulder was bulky under his hospital gown, and she could see the edge of a bandage on his left arm. There was bruising on his face and all down his right side. His skin was pale in the moonlight coming through the window. He was shifting uncomfortably in his sleep, the IV attached to his arm tugging slightly.

Beca could imagine what he was dreaming about. Ever since the fire, she had experienced nightmares about the flames, constantly reliving every moment. A shock like that to your system scarred you. Yes, Jesse was okay, but he would be dreaming about all that could have gone wrong for weeks.

"Oh my- Shit Beca you scared me to death!"

Beca jumped as she realised Jesse had woken up, his eyes full of sleepy confusion. She edged a little further out of the darkness towards him, nervous and unsure about what to expect. She hadn't prepared herself for talking; she had waited around deliberately for the night so she could go in, see he was okay, and then leave before she made things worse.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to wake you. I just wanted to make sure you were okay." She hesitated, stepping closer again. "Are you okay?"

"I'm in a bit of pain but otherwise I'm fine." Jesse looked at her in the dim lighting. The way that the light hit her made her look almost ghostly, but he could still make out her slightly puffy eyes and her red nose. She had been crying over him. "You stayed with me. You stayed here. For me."

"You got hit by a car because of me, I wasn't about -"

"There you go again, blaming yourself for things. God for one second Beca could you give yourself a break?" Both of them seemed surprised by his angry outburst. Beca stepped back for a moment, folding her arms together as she rubbed them in doubt.

So she changed her approach to honesty. "I was scared. I had to know you were okay."

"You knew I was okay. The doctors told you."

"I-I had to see for myself." Jesse was staring at her with a weird mix of emotion in his eyes, and Beca couldn't pin point what he was feeling.

There was a soft knock on the door and they froze, their eyes meeting for just a moment. Beca dove towards the bathroom, tucking herself behind the door.

"Mr Swanson, I see you're awake. I thought I heard talking." A nurse poked her heard around the door, her eyes sweeping the room. Jesse recognised her as the nurse who had walked past when he had been on the phone a few hours before. Apparently, she was one of those grumpy nurses.

Jesse smiled sweetly at her. "Just talking to myself."

She seemed doubtful, but never the less closed his door again. After a moment, Beca stepped out of her hiding place, her eyes avoiding him. She should leave, she knew it. Jesse needed rest and Beca needed to be a plane.

"Can I sit?" Beca wanted to tape her mouth over. It seemed to be working independently from her body and doing the exact opposite of what it should be doing. That had been happening a lot recently.

Jesse gestured to the chair on his left side and Beca walked around the bed, hesitating before sitting in it. From her position, Jesse was a little higher, and he turned his head so he could see her. Beca was very unsure of herself, Jesse noted, even more; she seemed vulnerable. The emotions of the day had left her raw and Beca's defences were broken. Curling her legs towards her chest, Jesse realised that she seemed almost child-like in this state.

"I'm so sorry Jesse," she began in a whisper, her eyes turned to the floor.

"It wasn't your fault," Jesse began but Beca was already shaking her head. "I was the one who didn't look. I'm to blame for the car, not you."

"I don't just mean about today." Beca's legs dropped back to the floor and she leaned forward, her fingers dancing over the skin on his left hand. There was a small graze on his knuckles and she stroked it for just a moment, his skin soft under her fingertips. "I'm sorry for not letting you finish that sentence on that day, I'm sorry for you having to save me that night. I'm sorry for running away. I'm sorry for not calling, for cutting off all ties. And I'm sorry for coming back and not telling you. That wasn't fair. You had every right to know."

Jesse just watched her for a moment. She was avoiding his gaze and instead focussing on his hand, which he was trying to not let distract him from her words. He had never seen her like this, so full of sorrow and regret. She was like a lost lonely puppy in a giant world with no idea what to do or where to go. The part of him he had suppressed so long, the part of him that still yearned for her every day, urged him to reach out and pull her close, to accept her apologies and just enjoy being with her once more.

But he couldn't. He couldn't just accept some apologies and expect that to soothe the pain he had felt since she left.

"Beca-"

"I don't expect you to forgive me Jesse," she interrupted. "I just need you to know that I regret everything I did. I never wanted to hurt you, and somehow I convinced myself that leaving would be best for you in the long run. I was confused and upset and I just-I couldn't handle it all."

"Beca, you didn't leave because of me. You left because of you. You thought leaving would be best for you."

She stopped stroking his hand and glanced up at him, just for a second, her eyes full of tears. "You walked into fire for me."

"And in return you left. I know that Lily's death was hard for you. I know you blame yourself. But in times like that, when the grief is _that _overwhelming, you need someone Beca." Jesse reached out and pulled at her chin, forcing her to look at him. "You needed me."

"So much that it hurt," she breathed, her eyes staring into his. "I needed you every second of every minute of every day."

"I would have been there. I would have helped you."

She shook her head, his hand still holding her chin. "Not just after the fire. Always. I needed you like… like Oxygen." She grabbed his hand between both of hers as a tear slipped down her cheek. "Jesse you terrified me."

The intensity of their staring was affecting both of them. Their hearts were beating fast, their breathing shallow. Beca could feel every nerve in her body on high alert.

Jesse broke it first. He tore his gaze away, turning towards the window to let his heart rate return to normal. Beca watched him for a few seconds before looking back at her shoes, her hands retreating to her lap.

"What do you want from me?" Jesse turned back to her, confused about why she was here.

"I want you to know how sorry I am for hurting you. I need you to know how hard it was to leave you."

"Beca you left without so much as a goodbye," he could feel that anger coming out again. "Trust me when I say it was harder for me."

"I didn't exactly plan on leaving," she said, resigned, wiping away her tears with the back of her hand. "It just happened."

She was fanning the fire of his anger and he was struggling to keep it under control. "You left me a note telling me to move on and that you loved me!" His voice raised a little.

"I do!" she hissed. Her eyes went wide with panic. " I did love you."

Jesse looked at her in shock, trying to swallow her confession. "If you really loved me you would have stayed with me. We could have worked it out. We could have been together."

Beca was crying again and she wondered when she'd run out of tears. It was really beginning to bug her. "Jesse I would love to go back and slap sense into myself. But I can't. I can't change what I did. I can't do anything but try and show you how sorry I am."

This wasn't going anywhere. Jesse knew this would just go round in circles, unless he changed his tactics. "Barden isn't the same without you."

Beca's shoulders slumped and she leant her head on her arm, rubbing her forehead gently. "Yeah well LA isn't exactly brilliant either." She glanced up at him watching her, his face revealing nothing.

"Following our dreams isn't all it's cracked up to be." Jesse's lip raised in a half-smile and Beca felt her insides twist.

"If we're actually going to talk this through, we need to go from the beginning," Jesse said. Beca pressed her lips together as she contemplated his suggestion. "We have to be completely honest, no lies, nothing left out." Jesse held his little finger out towards her. "Pinkie swear?"

Beca rolled her eyes but promised, and Jesse took it as a good sign. She shuffled her chair closer but Jesse patted the edge of the bed. Debating it for just a moment, Beca climbed up and lay beside him, a forgotten comfort washing over her. His hand fell on her thigh, and he unconsciously drew shapes with his thumb, calming her down without even realising. They were both surprised by how comfortable it felt despite the time apart. It wasn't weird or as awkward as they might have imagined.

"I guess we start at the first break up." Jesse paused. "Before the fire."

"We were stressed," Beca suggested, her eyes following a crack in one of the ceiling tiles. "We were both running opposing teams, it was close to finals, we had so little time for each other. We both know what we do when we're stressed; you push for more and I pull away."

But Jesse shook his head. "Yes we knew that, but we also knew how to combat that. We'd done it all before. That time, it was different." He frowned as he remembered back. "You weren't just pulling away. You were trying to break us."

Beca paused, trying to put it into words. "Being at Barden, with you, it was like a fairy tale." Beca smiled sadly. "We were perfect. But everything ends Jesse. We were drifting. I thought that perhaps the rivalry might tear us apart, or maybe you'd realise that you didn't love me after all. I was so unsure about it all. I tried to ignore the nagging in my head but I couldn't stop it."

"That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard." Jesse swallowed his anger at her presumption - this was the past, they were just sorting through it, and there was nothing he could do to change that. "There was nothing wrong with us Beca. Not everything ends, despite what you seem to be so adamant to believe."

Beca looked at him, her eyes pouring over every detail of his face. "I wouldn't let myself believe that. You were so special to me, the thought of time ruining that..."

"You never mentioned any of this to me," Jesse whispered. "If you'd told me we could have talked about it."

"Because I got the call." Beca shuddered as she remembered it.

_"What do you want from me Jesse? I'm trying here but you're never satisfied!" Beca fumed, stepping back from him and hiding her shaking hands behind her back. Don't show weakness. Don't let him see your fear._

_"I want you to stop thinking that this is some, some fling! I want you to take this seriously! All you've been doing for weeks is shutting me out-" Beca's phone began to ring for the third time and she glanced at her pocket. "If you answer that I swear to God-"_

_Beca pulled it out of her pocket and denied the call, throwing the phone at her bed. "I take us very seriously. You really think this thing means nothing to me? It means everything! But I am not perfect; I cannot do everything right all of the time."_

_"And don't I know it! My God Beca how do you not see that what you're doing is tearing us apart? You're shutting me out again and I cannot –"_

_Her phone rang again on her bed and Beca dove for it. No one rings four times without it being important. She ignored Jesse's threat and answered it, glaring at him as he threw his hands up in the air and groaned._

_"Beca, something's happened. You need to get to Lily's right now! There's... There's smoke Beca,"" Amy said frantically. "I'm scared, please hurry."_

_Beca's phone fell from her hand. "I have to go," she whispered, still frozen in the spot._

_"Beca, you can't leave now," Jesse said furiously. "We need to talk about this!"_

_"Later!" Beca raced to the door. "I'll come back later! I promise! I... Lily needs me!"_

_Beca raced down the corridor towards Lily's room, hearing Jesse in the distant shouting, "I need you!"_

Beca touched her scar, wincing at the memory of the pain. "I would have come back you know. If it hadn't gotten so out of hand... I would have come back. I didn't want to lose you, no matter how I treated you." She laughed without humour. "I've never deserved you. I treated you like crap, I was horrible to you, yet you loved me all the same."

"When Benjie rang me that night... God, Beca, I've never been so terrified. He told me about the fire, how serious it looked. I thought you..." Jesse swallowed down the lump rising in his throat. Beca touched his arm lightly, smiling at him with a sadness she shouldn't know.

"I thought so too. I thought I'd never see you again." She paused, closing her eyes, losing herself in the memory. "Yet there you were. Holding me. Keeping me safe. You took every scream, every punch. You held me the whole night, never left my hospital room."

They both looked at one other, remembering the night that changed everything. Still vivid in their minds, they grabbed each other's hand tightly, a reminder they were still here, still alive.

"I thought we'd be okay," Jesse sighed heavily. "I thought after that third night in the hospital... I thought we'd make it."

"I did too."

"But you ran away."

There was a pause, a strange tension between them. Their eyes were still linked and Jesse could see something clouding over hers. Guilt. Regret.

"I didn't want to leave you," she murmured finally.

Jesse looked away but let her continue.

"The funeral... It freaked me out. I didn't cope well with it all. Seeing her family, seeing everyone so sad... I despised myself. I ran because I didn't feel I deserved to be there." She brushed hair out of her face, giving herself a moment to gather her strength. "I went to a bar, I remember that much. Next thing I know, I'm in LA, waking up in some random hotel. To this day I don't know how I got here or what I did. But when I woke up that morning... I felt like I'd outrun my problems. I'd left them behind and here I was, following my dream.

"I never intended to stay at Barden. I was never supposed to be there; I had always believed that - until I met you. You changed everything. My dreams were worthless after I realised how I felt about you. It was crazy but... I realised I belonged with you. It took me a week to figure out, a week sitting in that hotel room alone. Once I realised it, realised the mistake I made, I ran straight back to that airport."

Jesse waited for her to continue her confession but she had stopped, her face turned away from him. He squeezed her hand that was still linked to him, encouraging her to continue.

"I couldn't get on the plane," she whispered. "I was frozen to the spot. Every part of me wanted to be back to you but my feet just… I couldn't get on the plane." A sob broke her last sentence and Jesse felt his heart begin to ache for her.

"You didn't know what you were coming home to," Jesse summarised for her. He saw her nod, exhaling a shaky breath.

"I haven't left since." She sniffed, trying to keep the tears at bay.

"I waited for you," Jesse began as he took his turn in confessing. "For about 2 months I was convinced that any moment, you'd knock on my door. But after 10 weeks it started to sink in that you really weren't coming back. You were gone for good. I thought if I could find you, I could persuade you, but I had no way to contact you. I called every record label in LA and there wasn't a single trace of you."

"I was waitressing then," she interjected. "Trying to make ends meet."

"I begged your dad to let me talk to you. But he seemed just as clueless. It was like every trace of you was gone but that stupid note. I was furious at you. I swear I almost started a 'We Hate Beca Mitchell' club." He felt her laugh beside him and he smiled. She turned back to him, a tear falling from her eye as she did. He let go of her hand and wiped the tear away with his thumb. He could feel her shallow breath on his fingers.

"That sounds like a really awesome club idea." She couldn't bite back her smile as Jesse chuckled.

"We would have had t-shirts and everything."

"I would have loved to have joined." She meant it as a joke, but Jesse could see sincerity in her eyes. He frowned at her, his thumb softly stroking her cheek.

"I wasn't angry at you for long. Trying to stay angry at someone who isn't there is surprisingly difficult." Beca looked down to his injured shoulder guiltily. "I was just confused. But I could never squash that one part of me. The one who knew that one day, no matter how long it took, you would come back home." He let his words sink in, saw how her entire body tensed.

"Jesse you know I can't stay," Beca breathed, no longer able to rely on her voice. She raised herself up so she was no longer lying beside him. "I have to go back."

Jesse pulled her by her shoulder towards him, his good arm wrapped around her shoulders. Her head rested on his chest and her hand splayed across his ribs. "It doesn't matter," Jesse whispered into her hair. "All that matters is that you're here now."

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**After all the horrible cliff-hangers I've thrown your way, look at this sweet adorable ending I've given you :) Unfortunately, there are still many issues to sort out, but for now, our babies are back on speaking terms!**

**Next chapter...**

_**"You're going back, aren't you?" Jesse's voice broke through her internal debate, her head jolting towards him. She was biting her lip, her eyebrows furrowed. His words were more a statement than a question; she knew he knew and now she had to break his heart all over again.**_


	9. Hope For The Injured

**It is very late but I'm fighting to stay away long enough to type this and post it despite saying I wouldn't post a chapter today. So here it is! I hope you all enjoy this and I'll try to post tomorrow :)**

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**9 – HOPE FOR THE INJURED**

"Do you think we should wake them?"

Jesse's parents stood in the doorway of their son's hospital room, still looking at the sight that had welcomed them that morning. When they had left the night before, Jesse had been alone, but it seemed overnight he had acquired a bed buddy in the form of his ex-girlfriend. Curled up against Jesse's uninjured side, Beca lay on her side on top of Jesse's blankets, her cheek and hand resting against Jesse's chest. His arm held her safely to his side, his hand tucked inside the pocket of her jacket. Jesse's face was pressed to her hair, the ghost of a smile on his lips.

Jim thought it was sweet. Lisa thought it was worrying.

Feeling the change in the room, Beca began to stir, exhaling happily as she stretched out her legs, her hand clutching Jesse's gown. She opened her eyes and lifted her head in confusion, looking up at Jesse's still sleeping form. A soft coughing turned her attention towards the foot of the bed and she squeaked in surprise as she saw Jim and Lisa standing there, watching her. She tried to pull together a reason for her presence.

"Mr and Mrs Swanson, I'm so sorry," she whispered, detangling herself from Jesse's arm. "I… I don't really know what to say."

"I thought you were going home?" Lisa raised an eyebrow disapprovingly. Beca paused in her movements, her eyes going wide in amused disbelief.

"I wanted to talk to Jesse first." Beca lowered herself from the bed, rearranging her crumpled clothes. She caught Jim's eye and bit back her smile as he rolled his eyes at his wife.

"I hope you sorted things out," Jim said sincerely, stepping further into the room.

Beca hesitated before answering. Had they? "Um, I guess, kind of." Beca crossed her arms across her chest, unsure what to do next.

"Well we're here to take Jesse home now so." Lisa seemed eager to kick Beca out, but Beca didn't want to leave without saying goodbye. Not this time.

"Mother please stop being so rude to Beca," a sleepy Jesse sighed at his mother, rubbing his eyes in an attempt to wake himself up more. They all turned to him, Lisa's lips pursed. She hated it when he called her mother and he knew it.

"Jesse," Beca breathed, smiling at him from his side. He turned to her and returned her smile, his eyes sparkling at her. It took her breath away – she had missed how his eyes shined when he looked at her.

"Morning," he chuckled, still trying to wake himself up.

"Hello there Jesse, I'm Dr Jones, I operated on your shoulder yesterday." A doctor swept into the room, and Beca recognised him as the doctor who had spoken to her yesterday. The doctor glanced around at the people in the room. "It's nice to see you smiling again Beca." The doctor turned back to Jesse with a raised eyebrow. "You gave your wife quite the scare yesterday."

Beca scrunched up her face as Jesse grinned at her. "I'm sure my _wife _was absolutely fine."

"Can he go home?" Lisa interrupted, walking in between the grinning match Beca and Jesse were sharing.

"We need to do another brain scan just to make sure there's no swelling but I don't imagine there'd be any issues. Once we've got the results back for it, Jesse will be fine to return home."

The room collectively sighed with relief and Jesse winked at Beca. She rolled her eyes. "Are you sure you don't want to keep him a bit longer? I'm sure we'd all be relieved to have my _husband _off our hands for one more day," she deadpanned. Jesse laughed as Dr Jones glanced between them in confusion. Beca kept her face perfectly serious, and her raised eyebrows made Jesse laugh even more.

Jim let the confused doctor out of the room, chuckling to himself as he approached his son's bed. "How're you feeling today son?"

Jesse wrinkled his nose. "In a bit of pain but I can deal."

"Can I get you anything?" Lisa was fussing already and Jesse just smirked at her.

"I'm fine, mom."

An awkward silence swept through the room. Beca couldn't decide what she was supposed do. A part of her wanted to stay, to curl back up against Jesse's side and never leave it again. That part of her wanted to beg for forgiveness, to do everything possible and impossible to show Jesse she wouldn't leave again, that she was here and that was it. No more running.

But a part of her knew she couldn't do that. She had a life in LA. Yes, she hated her job; yes she was pretty lonely out there on her own. But her crap job would lead to what she had always wanted, and so what if she was lonely? She could still make friends. There had to be someone there who wouldn't mind hanging out with her, right?

There was, of course, the tiny part of her that told her to run for the hills before this got even more ugly.

But she wouldn't do that to Jesse again. She had seen the pain she had caused him the night before, seen how it had affected him. Hurting Jesse again wasn't an option. Going back to LA wasn't an 'if' to her, it was a 'when'. But not without saying goodbye; she owed Jesse more than that.

She hadn't noticed him watching her yet. Jesse could see the war going on inside her head, could see how her mind seemed to be torn over something. Him, he knew. She was debating how to say goodbye, he thought dejectedly. Despite their midnight confessional, she was still going to go away again.

"You're going back, aren't you?" Jesse's voice broke through her internal debate, her head jolting towards him. She was biting her lip, her eyebrows furrowed. His words were more of a statement than a question; she knew he knew and now she had to break his heart all over again.

"I have to." Beca stepped towards him, her hands resting on the bed beside him. He wouldn't meet her gaze and she hesitated, feeling uncomfortable with his parents there watching. Getting the message, Jim ushered his wife out of the room much to her chagrin, sending Beca a supportive smile as he closed the door.

"LA is my home now," she said despondently. "I can't stay here forever."

Jesse grabbed one of her hands in his and rubbed her knuckles with his thumb. He could feel the scar underneath, one of five he knew she had from the fire. Beca watched his thumb for a minute before turning her hand so their hands were clasped together.

"Seeing you… I'm so glad I did, I'm glad we talked."

Jesse huffed, wishing he wasn't trapped to this bed so that he could pull her to him. "I don't know if I can handle you leaving again," he confessed quietly.

Beca clenched her teeth together. This is why she had tried not to see him. She had known that seeing each other would make it all so much worse at the end.

"Jesse…" She didn't know what to say. What do you say to a guy that you're leaving for the second time? She was confused and her emotions were getting the better of her.

"Don't shut me out this time, okay?" Jesse finally looked up at her, staring into her eyes seriously. "We can still talk. This is the 21st century; we can text and call each other and email. There's video chat and the good old fashioned letter writing and I could try to train a pigeon to carry a letter, ooh! Or an owl, I'd love an-"

"I'd like that." She nodded, trying to swallow the lump in her throat. She knew this was a bad idea – it would just encourage their unresolved feelings, drag out the heartache until there would be no way back from the resentment. A clean break would be easier to handle. It would allow them to finally move on and let them get on with their lives. But Beca couldn't help hating this prospect. She didn't want to get on with her life. She had realised all too late that her life was here, and that LA was more… An extended vacation. A mistake.

"You pinkie swear?"

"I pinkie swear."

* * *

It had been four hours since Beca had left, and Jesse was already feeling miserable. His parents had taken him back to his room in the Treble's house, and his mother had fretted as each of his friends hugged him happily, glad to have him back. After spending an hour getting rid of them, Jesse was now sitting in his room, counting down from three in anticipation for Benjie's entrance.

_Three, two, one…_

"Jesse it's good to have you back!" Benjie waltzed into his room without knocking, sitting himself down in the desk chair. Jessie watched him in amusement from his spot on his bed, pillows holding him at the angle Jesse seemed to find the least uncomfortable. Benjie was playing with a coin in his hand, subconsciously making it appear and disappear in his hands.

"So Beca." Benjie cut right to the chase.

Jesse shrugged his one good shoulder. "I'm not sure, honestly. We talked last night, about everything, but she's probably on a plane back to LA at the moment." Benjie was sitting patiently, waiting for his friend to find the words. "She apologised. For everything. She tried to explain it all…"

When Jesse had been quiet for a minute, Benjie prompted him. "Did you forgive her?"

Jesse turned his gaze to the original _The_ _Breakfast Club_ movieposter on his wall that hung at the foot of his bed; a present from Beca for his birthday. "The second I saw her in my hospital room."

Benjie frowned but let him continue.

"You know she had to forcibly removed from me? On the road, just after the car hit me. The paramedics couldn't do anything because she refused to let go of me. Apparently she told them she was married to me so they'd let her in the ambulance. She was the one who called my parents despite how incredibly awkward that must have been. She sat in the waiting room for hours, waiting for news on how I was."

"Wow." But Benjie was still worried by the look in his eye – the one that he got when he was imagining life like a Disney movie - musical numbers and happy endings.

"She still has feelings for me." Jesse turned to his friend who had stopped his tricks with the coin. Jesse's eyes were shining with excitement. "I could tell. She's not moved on."

"Yeah but Jesse, she lives on the other side of the country."

"We're not, you know, together again, but she promised to stay in touch." When Benjie raised his eyebrows doubtfully, Jessie felt the need to clarify. "It's a start Benjie. She's trying."

As if on cue, Jesse's phone buzzed beside him with a text from Beca.

So how many of the Treble's have demanded the scoop on me?

Jesse grinned at his phone and quickly typed his reply.

Oh don't worry about that, I'll make sure to write it into an article for the school newspaper. Everyone will know that you talk in your sleep soon enough.

Don't make me set the kracken on you.

Jesse laughed out loud and Benjie sighed. This was not going to end well.

"I'm leaving now, if you can hear me." Jesse just waved at him, too involved in his phone.

I'm pretty sure even Amy wouldn't beat up a poor injured guy like me.

You wanna take that chance?

Point made. Aren't you supposed to be on a plane? I'm pretty sure using phones on those things can cause nuclear explosions or something equally ridiculous.

Still at the airport on standby. Though judging by how this woman is staring at my ear spike I might be here forever.

Told you that thing is scary.

Jesse relaxed further back into his pillows. He had no idea what he was getting himself into, but somehow, he didn't really seem to care.

Beca was having similar thoughts as she clutched her phone tightly in her hand, smiling sarcastically at the woman behind the desk. She shifted to find a more comfortable position, her butt numb from sitting there for so long. She had already dealt with the awkward angry phone call to her boss who was on the brink of firing her. As her phone vibrated with Jesse's second reply, she couldn't bring herself to be that concerned with it.

Want to play hangman?

You're such a nerd.

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**Next chapter...  
**_**The voice made her insides melt and she knew only one person could affect her that way. Her breath caught in her chest in excitement. Skidding across the wooden floor towards her front door, Beca slammed her tequila bottle down on the kitchen counter as she flung the door open.**_

_**There, in all his glory, was Jesse Swanson, grinning at her like the Cheshire cat.**_


	10. Postcard From LA

**WARNING! RATED M CHAPTER AHEAD! If you do not wish to read it you can skip to the end when it starts but there's a very important paragraph so keep an eye out for it. I can't change the story rating from my iPad at the moment so consider yourself warned.**

**I apologise for my delayed update, and my immediate update is as promised to the awesome Jael House Rock who has dealt with many of my emotional outbreaks over this story. I dedicate this rock-the-boat chapter to you.**

**one of these emotional outbreaks is due to the fact I just hit 100 reviews, have well surpassed 100 follows, and I'm one favourite away from 50. Thank you so much for all you're incredible support and for reading this! Love you all!**

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**10 – POSTCARD FROM LA**

Two months passed by quickly for Beca and Jesse. After Beca had finally made it back to LA, she had gone straight back to work, the monotony of her days now broken up by Jesse's messages. She looked forward to them way more than she cared to admit. They were a chance for her to vent her frustrations over her boss when he was particularly cruel, an opportunity to be able to have someone to talk to when she needed it most. His quips could make her smile for hours on end, even though she'd never tell him that. Her day revolved him and as much as she should hate it, she couldn't help but love every moment.

Jesse was equally as addicted to his correspondences with her. They had grown accustomed to the 3 hour time difference and allowed for some rather interesting conversations, like when she'd be eating her breakfast and he'd already be at lunch, or when he'd text her good morning and she'd still be up working on her music. Every text after class or work was their equivalent of 'honey, I'm home!'. Of course it wasn't the same as having each other there – all of their contact was verbal whether it was through a video camera or a mobile, and there were some moments when he wished he could hold her hand, wrap his arms around her, or even just be able to run his fingers through her hair.

Jesse knew that his friends were worried about how quickly he seemed to have forgiven her. For all she had done, he knew he should angry at her, but he couldn't help it. Beca had a way of dragging him in and no matter how much he knew otherwise, he couldn't help but get wrapped up in her.

Beca's new openness to keeping in touch had expanded to the Bella's. She Skyped them weekly to see how they were getting on rehearsing for finals, watching their progress and providing feedback. She emailed Chloe with any interesting tales of her life in LA, and in return Chloe would tell her about her life in New York. She even kept in touch with Aubrey, who seemed to favour the traditional method of putting pen to paper which meant Beca would often avoid replying for a few days, unsure what to say. Even Benjie seemed to be warming to her again, occasionally popping his head around Jesse's door to wave hello when he heard them laughing on his computer.

Beca thought that it was probably as close to perfect as her life had ever been. She loved it.

Jesse's shoulder and ribs had healed well, and he was back to being able to learn choreography which had been designed by the group to have very little impact on his shoulder to make sure it continued to heal. The aching hadn't stopped though, but he knew it had nothing to do with his injuries. His ache was for Beca, because being away from her was proving increasingly more difficult.

It was a warm evening in mid-March that Beca slammed her door shut and threw her bag at her sofa with an air of frustration. She had had a bad day; Melbourne was under a lot of pressure from his boss which meant he had been extra mean to Beca, and for some completely unknown reason, she had no Jesse to talk to about it. She was pissed off and needed to vent it somewhere. Like a wall. Or the bottom of a tequila bottle.

Rummaging through her cupboards, she found her preferred method, twisting off the cap and taking a long drink from it, the alcohol burning the back of her throat pleasantly. Holding the bottle by its neck she kicked her shoes off in any direction, wiping her mouth and groaning loudly. Wow was it good to be home.

Heading to her computer, Beca put on her angriest mix at the highest volume she had, ignoring the banging on the wall as her neighbour screamed to turn it down. She danced around the small apartment sloppily, swigging from the bottle and singing along to the lyrics that best reflected her anger. She laughed, feeling the alcohol going to her head. She hadn't been drunk in a while, and it seemed she had become a bit of a lightweight in the process.

The mix came to an end, and in the gap between songs Beca heard a knocking at her door. Figuring it was just her neighbour, she went to ignore it, but then she heard the singing.

"…_Tell me your troubles and doubts, giving me everything, inside and out. Don't you forget about me…"_

Beca turned down her music, listening to the words being sung through her door. The voice made her insides melt and she knew only one person could affect her that way. Her breath caught in her chest in excitement. Skidding across the wooden floor towards her front door, Beca slammed her tequila bottle down on the kitchen counter as she flung the door open.

There, in all his glory, was Jesse Swanson, grinning at her like the Cheshire cat.

She didn't even give him time to say hello; she jumped on him, her legs wrapping around his waist and her hands in his hair, crashing his lips to hers. Caught off guard, Jesse stumbled back, but wasted no time in responding, his fingers curving around the back of her thighs as his tongue tangled with hers. He walked them blindly into the apartment, kicking her door shut and pressing her up against it, pulling back to allow his lungs some much needed air.

"So is that how you greet all the eligible bachelors who knock at your door?" he teased breathlessly, trying to focus around her lips that were working their way along her jaw towards his neck. She hummed her reply onto his pulse point and he fought back the groan in the base of his throat. She was already driving him crazy and he'd only been there for a full minute.

Her mouth was back on his, and he could taste the alcohol on her tongue. He realised that a sober Beca probably wouldn't be doing this, and that letting this carry on was taking advantage of her, but Jesse was all hormone – his physical craving for Beca was at its peak and he couldn't bring himself to stop her from leaving a definite bruise on his neck. His hands were dragging her shirt up, his fingers splayed on her ribs. A desperate passion drove them both on as they clung to each other, rejoicing in the feeling of being able to touch and kiss and feel each other.

Her fingers were making quick work of the buttons on his shirt and within seconds she was forcing it off him. As soon as it was discarded, his hands were back on her sides, his thumbs making their way under the wiring of her bra. She pressed her lips against his ear, nipping at the skin lightly. Her hands ran down his chest and she placed soft kisses to his healing shoulder as she tightened the grip her legs around him, their hips grinding together in a way that made them both moan loudly.

Jesse's mouth attached itself to her neck, sucking on the spot he remembered made her weak at the knees. She gasped against his shoulder, her head falling back. She swore as his hands went to her chest, her hips thrusting towards him involuntarily. He hissed against her collar bone, biting down on the skin there as her nails dug into the skin on his back. Every cell in his body was responding to her touch, the feeling giving him a weird natural high.

Somehow she had unbuttoned both of their trousers, and she was stuck between needing to get their pants off and having no desire to let him go. Decided the former was much more profitable, she released his hips, her toes barely reaching the ground.

"Jesse you gotta let me go or I." She gasped as he undid her bra and lips trailed down to the newly revealed flesh. "I can't get your pants off if you keep-doing-that."

Grunting disapprovingly, he pulled back just enough to hook his thumbs in the belt loops of her jeans, pulling them down torturously slow. She huffed, tapping her toe impatiently and he chuckled, pressing a kiss to her knee – which almost made her joints give way - as he finally pulled them off with her underwear in tow. Beca, who was not in the mood for taking her time, had his off within moments. Raising an eyebrow, she looked up to see him grinning at her with swollen lips.

"Batman print? Really?" He laughed at her expression, and pulled her face back to his, smiling against her lips as he kissed her. She slid her fingers underneath the waistband of his boxers. His skin felt like it was a live wire, and Beca knew exactly how to make him react to her.

She finally pushed them down, Jesse kicking his underwear off somewhere as he pushed her harder against the wall. The cool of the paint was welcoming to her hot skin and she sighed as her forehead fell to his shoulder, her hands running up his abs - which she was impressed to see where more defined than the last time they been this naked together. Raring to go, Beca let Jesse's smell engulf her. Her entire mind, body and soul revolved around this moment, with this guy, against this wall.

But Jesse had been distracted. His hands were less persistent, and instead were just supporting her. His mouth was pressed into a grim line and his eyes were trailing up and down her body, but not in a sexy _wow you're so beautiful _way. They were, instead, focusing on the patches of red, raised skin.

He knew about them. Of course he did; he had watched nurses dress them and had watched her scream in agony when they were first exposed. But somehow, seeing them here, seeing them healed but still obvious, made his throat close up as looked at them.

Realising what he was looking at, Beca grew overwhelmingly self-concious. In the heat of the moment she had forgotten about her physical reminders of the fire, of the day her entire life was tipped upside down. She watched his face grow more concerned as he examined them, and with every breath Beca felt herself getting more distressed.

But the scars were a part of her now. Beca had come to accept them and all they represented. Why did she need to get so worked up? She could feel herself sobering as she reasoned with herself. This wasn't just any guy – this was Jesse. He had saved her from that fire and he had stayed with her through her time in the hospital. These scars had once been open, ugly wounds that Jesse had told her once made her even more beautiful to him. Jesse wasn't some random guy, he was _her _guy.

Beca dropped herself to the ground so she could take his hands. He looked up at her eyes in surprise for a moment, but she just smiled and moved his hand to the worst scar just behind the curve of her waist. She pressed his palm against the bumpy flesh and held it there, letting him get used to the slightly warmer temperature. This burn had been the worst. She often found it itchy and uncomfortable. It was still red and the skin tugged when she bent over, but it was also her favourite – it reminded her that she was alive. It reminded her of Jesse.

Moving his hand down to the back of her left hip, she let his fingers run over the scar there. This one was relatively small, roughly the length and width of the average space bar on a keyboard. She could feel his fingers running tiny circles over it. Catching his gaze, she held it, smiling at him to let him know she was okay. He could do nothing more than stare into her eyes, seeing the affection there as, one by one, she let him touch her other scars; the one just under her sternum shaped like a quarter, and the one across her other hip bone. The whole time they never looked away, letting his fingertips learn everything they needed to know. Her breathing was shallow and her eyes fluttering; his fingers on the super-sensitive skin drove her insane but she kept perfectly still, letting him explore in his own time.

Leaning forward, he placed a gentle kiss against her lips. There was none of that desperate passion behind his action; it was soothing and loving and made her entire body break out in goose bumps.

"Beca, I'm-" He started as he pulled away slightly, but she pressed her fingers against his lips.

"Don't." She moved her fingers to kiss him quickly, her forehead rested against his. "They'd be a lot worse if you hadn't been there." They were so close that he was almost cross eyed, but he couldn't look away from her. The way she seemed so accepting of her scars seemed so unlike her, but then again, everything about her had always surprised him. Why should this be any different?

"You're beautiful," he whispered instead, and Beca felt herself blush, her fingers going back to his hair. She pulled him to her and kissed him slowly, deeply, both of them losing themselves in each other. Her legs once more wrapped around him, their kiss never breaking, all the feelings they had for each other pouring through it and wrapping around their hearts. They were moving together and it was mind-blowing. Staring into each other's eyes, their breathing got heavier, their bodies in sync, and their heart beating the same rhythm. And as they began to come undone, Beca kissed him fiercely, feeling as beautiful as Jesse's mind saw her.

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**Next chapter...**

_**"Is the f- is that my old Trebles hoody?" Jesse looked down the jumper in the familiar shade of burgundy red.**_

**Beca bit her lip and smiled innocently.**


	11. The Treble With Love Is

**So I forgot to update today but its okay! I'm rushing now to get it posted! I'm so sorry for my bad updating as of late. I have an exam I'm preparing for so I'm afraid I won't be updating until mid next week. I'm so sorry! **

**Thank you for all your incredible reviews. Seriously, it never fails to make me gush with happiness. Your support means everything to me.**

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**11 - THE TREBLE WITH LOVE IS**

"There is no way Benjie actually pulled that off!"

They were lazing in her bed a day later, Jesse tucked behind Beca as he pressed light kisses to her shoulder. She held his arm tight around her, their fingers weaving together. Evening had turned into night, the only light in the room coming from the street lamp outside.

"I'm serious, that trick actually got him a date. It was fantastic to watch." Jesse pulled her even closer and Beca bit her lip to hide her smile.

"It seems I have been severely underestimating the power of magic."

Jesse chuckled as he kissed up her neck. Beca's breathing hitched as he found a particularly sensitive spot, and she rolled over so she was lying on top of him, one foot stroking up his calf. Fingers splayed across his collarbones, she kissed him softly.

"As great as this all is," Jesse said against her lips. "I think we both could do with some food."

"I don't have anything in." She sighed; she was not making that good an impression. First the messy apartment that Jesse had teased her mercilessly for, then the broken tv, now this? Beca dropped her head to nuzzle into his neck.

"I was hoping for take out anyway," Jesse joked, "Your cooking sucks."

"Hey!" She slapped his chest. "I'm a lot better now." When Jesse only raised an eyebrow doubtfully, she looked down and he laughed at her lie.

"What do you fancy?"

"Pizza. Definitely pizza."

Jesse reluctantly rolled Beca off him and he padded in that direction, Beca admiring his bare ass.

"Stop checking me out," Jesse called without looking and she laughed, completely unashamed at being caught.

Beca lay there on her back. She couldn't believe her luck, how had she gone from lonely and grumpy in LA to having amazing friends and whatever Jesse was in a matter of just over two months? She knew that he was too good for her, but this time around, she felt blessed. The thought of letting him go because he deserved better was too painful to consider - she needed to accept this Jesse shaped gift and never let it go. Question was, could she actually do that?

Jesse appeared a few minutes later with his underwear on, flopping down in the bed so his head landed on her chest. Immediately, her fingers went to his hair, running through his curls. It was her one of her favourite things to do. Her other hand touched the scar on her hip bone, gently rubbing the raised flesh as she thought about how she had got here. What did she do to deserve a guy who gave up half his spring break to fly across the country just for her?

"What are you thinking about?" Jesse glanced up at her.

"How I can get you to leave now you have sated my sexual needs."

He put his hand to his chest in mock disbelief. "Is that all I am to you? Some man-whore who you can use and then discard of whenever you please?"

Beca smirked at him and he leant back down, only to then blow a raspberry against her ribs. She shrieked and pushed him off her, his laugh making the bed springs bounce gently beneath her.

"But seriously, what were you thinking about? Because you had that little crinkle on your forehead that you get when you think of really deep stuff." Jesse watched her, already knowing from the roll of her eyes that she wasn't going to answer truthfully.

"How I'd only just managed to forget the torture you put me through with all those movies." Beca sighed for effect, her face miserable.

"It's okay, we've got plenty of time to watch them all again." Jesse grabbed her free hand and laced their fingers together.

Beca snorted, her misery mask disappearing. "You're such a weirdo."

The feel of her fingers in his hair was lulling Jesse to sleep. He hummed happily and breathed her in, his eyes closing as he revelled in his situation - he was with Beca, in her bed, in LA. Life didn't get any better than this.

Jesse woke up to the sound of beeping in the kitchen area as Beca hummed to herself. He turned his head to see her walking around in a long red jumper and he decided it was definitely his favourite colour on her. No, he amended, it was his second favourite. That shade of deep blue she had worn on the night of their first kiss was his favourite.

"Hey sleeping beauty!" she called as she saw he was awake. "Was going to use a kiss to wake you up but it seems you don't need it."

Jesse groaned and rolled into his back, beckoning her over. She ran and skidded across the floor, leaning down to kiss him anyway. He grabbed her and pulled her onto the bed so she landed beside him, and he brushed the hair out of her eyes, smiling at her.

"Is the f- is that my old Trebles hoody?" Jesse looked down at the jumper in the familiar shade of burgundy red. How had he not realised that before?

Beca bit her lip and smiled innocently. "Yeah, you gave it to me at-" She stopped and pulled on the sleeves, looking down at her hands rather than looking at him.

"The hospital," Jesse finished as he remembered. He shrugged, trying to keep the mood light. "I always thought I lost it."

"I never had the heart to get rid of it," Beca admitted to her hands. "Though it doesn't smell of you anymore, it's still comforting."

Jesse pulled her against him, pressing his lips against hers. There was a shared sadness between them that no words would ever fix.

As they pulled away she looked at him, admiring his eyes for the hundredth time that day. Jesse stomach rumbling disturbed the moment.

"Come on," Beca said, slapping his chest as she pulled herself up. "Foods going cold."

They padded into the kitchen area, grabbed the pizza boxes, and walked to the couch. Pizza sitting between them, Beca and Jesse sat at either end, their legs crossed as they faced each other. They ate in a comfortable silence for a moment before Jesse decided to break it.

"So," he began, watching her pick the pepperoni off her slice. "You know, I've been here for a day now, and we really haven't done a lot of talking."

Beca shrugged, not seeing his point. "Yeah but talking isn't half as fun as what we _have_ been doing." She winked and he smirked at her.

"Yes but I think we probably should talk."

Beca finished chewing her mouthful of pizza and nodded. "Okay. How's the bar? Is Freddy still there?"

Jesse stopped himself from grumbling about her avoidance of the obvious topic. Instead, he went along with it. "The bar is great, I didn't realise I'd missed it until I went back two weeks ago. And Freddy has been covering my shifts, making sure I'm okay. I guess I read him wrong."

Beca went quiet and dropped her slice of pizza back into the box, nodding thoughtfully. "Freddy cares about you. I saw it, the night of your accident. He got me to calm down and he spoke to the paramedics. I mean, you don't really think I came up with the wife lie do you? I was far too…" She stopped and picked up her pizza slice again. She wasn't sure why she had bought it up; they hadn't spoken about the accident in any form of detail and Beca had no desire to relive it with him.

Jesse rested his elbow on his knee and leant on his hand, watching her gape as she tried to decide what to say next. "You don't want to talk about it."

Beca's mouth twitched into an apologetic smile, still not really looking at him. "Not really."

"Does that mean you don't want to talk about us either?"

Glancing up in surprise, Beca saw how serious he was, how intent he seemed to be on breaching this topic. Honestly, she had half wanted to talk about it too. The way things had been with Jesse the past two months had been great. They'd been friends again, and it had made her feel at least a tiny bit better about her decision to leave. But everything had changed when she opened the door to see him standing there. Not just because she had jumped him and therefore pushed their relationship from 'just friends' to 'it's complicated'. But because Jesse had flown across the country in the first place. All to see her again.

But at the same time, she knew how badly this could all go down. If they talked about what they were, they would have to also talk about a hundred other topics. Because her and Jesse were so far past just being complicated. Their relationship was like a nuclear minefield, and in that moment, they were standing right in the middle of it, one foot over the first trigger.

"Can't we just enjoy the next few days together?" she tried weakly.

"We have to talk about this at some point Beca."

Beca looked away towards her broken tv set, seeing their distorted reflection in the screen. The space between them looked bigger in the convex glass. She turned back to him with a determined look across her features. "Why do we have to talk about it? What's wrong with just eating this pizza and hanging out?"

Jesse was just as determined. She was not weaselling her way out of this one. "We have to talk about it because whatever this thing between us is" – Jesse pointed between them – "is going to blow up in our faces if we don't."

Beca wiped off her hands together to get rid of the crumbs and uncrossed her legs, leaning her back on the back of the couch. She felt tired and it wasn't due to lack of sleep. "Jesse, I don't know what you want from me. I'm trying to make amends for everything that has happened, really I am. And I admit that jumping your bones yesterday was probably not the wisest decision because it just complicates everything…"

"We were already complicated Beca. We've been complicated from day one."

"And I know that's my fault." She put her hand up towards him to stop his protest. "If you try to deny that you are lying. I made our relationship complicated. Then I tried to make it uncomplicated, and we were okay until I made it complicated again. And then, two months ago, I made it so beyond complicated-"

"You really need to stop saying complicated," Jesse said with a hint of amusement. He couldn't help it; the word had begun to sound ridiculous.

Beca sighed in frustration at his interruption. "Look, my point is, that right now, this is uncomplicated. This is just two people enjoying each other's company."

"That is so not what this." Jesse put the pizza on the floor and shuffled towards her. "This is me going against everything everyone has told me to do. This is you going against everything your instincts have told you to do." Jesse grabbed her arm and Beca swallowed heavily. "This is us being together despite everything that has happened."

Beca pulled away and stood up, uncomfortable with the decreased distance between them. She tried to look away but her eyes were drawn to him, and she watched him watch her, sitting patiently and waiting for her to sort through her thoughts. She hated that he was so able to understand her. She loved that he still remembered how.

Sitting back down, she rested her forehead against his shoulder. "Why can't we stay away from each other?" she mumbled.

Jesse wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her closer, lifting her legs so they rested over his thighs. He didn't know why either. He wasn't even that sure why he was here. All he knew was that he had missed her, and he'd somehow found himself on the phone to his family asking to spend half of spring break in LA. He had known even then that it was probably a horrendous idea. Going to see her screwed up every boundary they had wordlessly agreed on over the past few months, and it screwed up his resolve to try and not get too deep with her.

But had he cared? Not really.

Jesse wasn't sure what he had hoped to achieve out of this trip. Because if Jesse had realised anything recently, it was that Beca was unpredictable. She surprised you with every decision she made. And while that used to be one of the things Jesse loved about her, he wasn't sure anymore. Now, her ability to always catch him off guard scared him. Not being able to know what she was going to do meant it was difficult to imagine a rational future for them. It meant that Jesse was constantly working at their relationship. It meant that he wasn't sure if he could trust her.

He wanted to. And he had, once. But her unpredictability had led to her bolting two years ago. Running away wasn't just her instinct to push away those who wanted to care for her. Running away meant she was a flight risk. Could Jesse handle that? He loved her, despite everything; he knew that without a shadow of doubt. But he wasn't sure if love was enough. Loving someone you couldn't trust and trying to build a stable relationship off that didn't work.

Jesse groaned as he realised they had more to talk about than he had realised. But in that moment, as he held her close to him in her apartment on the other side of the country, all Jesse could manage to say was; "What are we going to do?"

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**so I'm afraid there is n next chapter preview this time as I haven't got the copy of it in my iPad. But know its going to be pretty drama filled!**

**have a great weekend guys :)**


	12. Just the Way You Were

**So I finally managed to get this chapter written! It was a very complicated one to write that I had to completely redo twice but I got it finished. Yay!**

**A few notes you will need to know for this chapter:  
I read somewhere ages ago that Barden University was in Georgia. Don't ask me where I read this because I have no idea. I don't think there's an official location for where it is (apart from not being in LA) so when I wrote this story, I did it with the idea in mind of the university being in Georgia. I don't know anything about Georgia so I apologise if it seems inaccurate.  
I'm pretty confident that college in America is generally about four years. This is how I wrote the story and that means Jesse is in whatever American's call the third year. This will be mentioned in the chapter but just to clarify :)**

**Okay wow long A/N! I hope you all enjoy and please review to let me know what you think. I do try to reply to all of my reviews so feel free to ask any questions you have or just generally bother me with whatever, I enjoy getting random PMs :)**

**Phew! Okay, moving on... Enjoy!**

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**12 – JUST THE WAY YOU WERE**

Swivelling gently on her desk chair, Beca was watching Jesse sleep. Sleeping in his usual position on his stomach, she admired how he looked so relaxed in her bed. The way his shoulder blades raised slowly with each breath, how his eyelids flickered and his right leg twitched sporadically. It was kind of adorable really, the way he seemed so different in that moment of vulnerability, his mind concocting what was most likely a dream following the plot of one of his favourite films, Beca as his partner in crime – she wasn't presuming she starred in all of his dreams, she knew because he was muttering her name under his breath. She imagined they were rushing to save the planet or fighting against the odds to achieve their ambitions or some other predictable story line. No doubt there would be a big finale with the violins orchestrating the kiss the audience had been waiting for.

She had watched him like this before, back in college when they were a couple. Her favourite time was about a month before acapella finals. He had fallen asleep during a movie (she had been surprised too) and she'd spent some time working on a mix to play at the station. He'd been mumbling then too…

_"Not until the fat lady sings," he breathed as his right foot twitched. He was lying on his stomach, as was the way he always slept, sprawled out across her bed in what looked to be a very uncomfortable position. The bass of her mix vibrated in her chest from her headphones as they rested on her collarbone. But all she could focus on was how adorable he looked. Jesse's face was turned towards her and she couldn't help but smirk at his nose crinkling._

_She watched him dream about Independence Day, mumbling about aliens and the president and 'getting home to Beca'. She felt herself melt a little bit; he was dreaming about her? She'd heard him muttering in his sleeping about her before but it never failed to thrill her. Not that she'd ever admit it, but she found the fact he was dreaming about saving the world and coming home to her the most incredible thing she'd ever experienced._

_She knelt beside her bed and leaned close, watching his eyes flicker under his eyelids. A grin broke out on her face and she stroked a finger down his cheek. This should be weird to her, the romance and the gushy feelings, but she found it didn't matter. She couldn't help it; she loved him too much to care how cheesy she had become._

_Not that he knew how she really felt yet. At least, she hadn't said the words out loud to him; it scared her and even though it should be easy because she knew how she felt, somehow, translating the feeling into three words was a bit too much for her._

_She gave him a soft kiss at the perfect moment, just as he began mumbling about 'seeing her beautiful face again'. He smiled lazily and kissed her back gently, reaching out towards her, his hand caressing her upper arm._

_"I love you," he muttered as he tried to pull her closer. Beca felt every muscle in her body tense. His eyes were still closed but he frowned as he was met with resistance. "Come on, we gotta go see the President." _

_She rolled her eyes but let him pull her closer as he rolled to his side to face her. She rested her outer leg over his and rested her hand on his neck, stroking his jaw with her thumb._

_"I love you too," she whispered, settling against his shoulder and closing her eyes. Surprised how easy it had been to say, she grinned and knew exactly what she was going to say when he eventually woke up. "I love you too."_

That had been the first time they'd admitted their true feelings for each other. Not that Jesse remembered it. And she wasn't really sure if he had meant it to the real her or the dream her. She shrugged; okay, so it had been the first time _she_ had admitted it to him, even if he was asleep. But the memory meant a lot to her all the same.

But memories were just that – memories. Things that happened in the past.

Sighing, Beca pushed away in her chair and used the force to get her up. She padded towards the shower with Jesse's shirt swaying around her thighs. Beca needed to clear her head and focus on the now.

As Beca let the water heat up she stripped down, glancing in the mirror as she untied her hair from its messy bun. She looked tired, pale from her lack of sunlight. Her and Jesse hadn't left the apartment since he arrived and their pizza fuelled chat a few hours before had worn her out – well, that and the sex they had resorted to having after they got stuck on what to do about their situation.

Just as she was about to step into the shower, the door creaked open and she froze, leg still raised, her back to the door. Footsteps behind her. She turned and saw, still half asleep and probably working on autopilot, Jesse stumbling to the toilet.

"You can't knock?"

Jesse jumped and turned to her, his bleary eyes wide as he noticed her for the first time. She was naked and smirking at him, her hands on either side of the shower walls, watching him with great amusement.

"Uh," Jesse tried to find words but he couldn't. Her standing there nude was very distracting.

"Eyes up front soldier." Beca laughed as his eyes flicked up from her chest, a blush working its way up his neck.

"You were going to shower without me?" He feigned being hurt, his hand dramatically over his heart.

"I thought you might be too busy with that imaginary Beca to have a shower with the real Beca."

Jesse swallowed nervously as she swayed her hips, walking towards him and tracing his hip bone with her fingers. He hated how often he dreamed about her, how often he got caught because of his mutterings. He blamed his mum – she talked in her sleep too.

She pressed her body firmly to his, dragging her hands up his arms to join behind his neck. The fact they were both already naked apart from his underwear – Beca was already beginning to fiddle with the elastic waist so they weren't going to be there long – was incredibly appealing to him. Especially when she bent at her knees and began to use her teeth to help pull the boxers down.

Jesse bit back a groan as she placed a hot kiss at the top of his thigh. His mind was fuzzy and he was so turned on at the way she was whispering something about dreams against the skin between his hips. He moaned and threaded his fingers into her hair.

"We have 26 hours left together – let's make it count," she said seductively, digging her nails into his thighs.

And as he fell back to lean against the wall for support, he knew he had every intention of doing just that.

* * *

After a rather successful shower, Beca took Jesse to see some of the sights of LA, feeling bad that he had flown all this way and not actually seen anything but the inside of her apartment. She spent most of the day out rolling her eyes repeatedly at Jesse's childlike fascination with all he saw. Secretly, she loved that he was so interested in her home; seeming him happy made her happy.

He took her out for dinner in the evening at a hole-in-the-wall restaurant a few blocks from her building, their conversation light and without any real purpose. It was nice and a welcomed change to their emotion-fuelled weekend. And as Beca looked around the dim restaurant, she realised that they must look like every other normal couple in the place – happy and in love and without any problems. It made her sigh sadly as she thought about how that wasn't really the case for them at all.

Late that night, Jesse lay surrounded by darkness and the arms of his – well, there in lied the problem with why Jesse wasn't sleeping. Because Jesse didn't know what she was. They were by no means an official couple again. But they weren't _nothing _either. He knew they both still had strong feelings for each other. And yes, of course they had spent most of his stay in very close contact with each other in bed, but there was no definition for what they were. And Jesse liked the labels as much as Beca hated them – he liked to know where he stood and what was happening.

This big complex mess went against everything.

Not even just because he had no idea where they stood; he could cope with that, because this was Beca, the girl who had refused to be referred to as his girlfriend for six months after they became what he considered an official item. He was worried because he was pretty sure his trip to try and heal their issues had in fact probably just made it all ultimately worse. At least before his decision to fly out to her, they had been on relatively good speaking terms and in a good place where they could probably have continued just fine. But when he had shown up at her door and she had quite literally thrown herself at him – well, that's where it got even more complicated.

Jesse still wasn't sure what he even wanted. He craved Beca; she was an addiction he couldn't shake and he didn't really have any desire to. But there were still the trust issues. And even if they somehow came to the decision to try and make it work, how would it? He was in Georgia for at least the next year and a half. She had an entire life in a state that was the complete opposite end of the country. Did they really want to go for the long-distance relationship thing?

Somehow, he didn't feel like he had a choice. Jesse knew that he couldn't lose her again. He was pretty sure that would kill him. His mother's voice was rolling around his head, her warnings about getting too close to Beca again; her reassurances that he would find someone else one day who he 'deserved' and 'wasn't such a big risk'; that even though it seemed impossible to feel that way about anyone else, that he would. He would find someone who 'appreciated him' and 'loved him properly'.

Let's just say he and his mother had not been getting on that well since that conversation.

Jesse squeezed his eyes shut and tightened his grip on her for a moment, to reassure him she was there with him still. He was overtired and he knew it, but he just couldn't sleep. It felt like he was wasting his last hours with her. He didn't know when he'd see her again and all he wanted to do was see her eyes shining in the moonlight, feel her hands in his hair, smell her berry shampoo, taste her smooth skin, hear her voice softly humming in that cute way she did when she was working on mixes in her head. He wanted to completely immerse himself in her and just stay there in her arms forever.

So he let himself. He listened to her even breathing and focussed on where her hands lay gently on his chest. He watched her eyelashes flutter and her lips gently twitch with each breath. And as he pulled her even closer and kissed her forehead tenderly, he smelt her shampoo. All of his senses emerged in her, he let himself fall asleep, content to just enjoy his last few hours.

* * *

Beca went with him to the airport that morning. There was a strange air around them, both suppressing things what needed to be said, both sad about his leaving, both a little relieved to be able to have the breathing room to think it all over. As they walked through the large sliding doors they found solace in their joined hands, both finding themselves at a loss for words.

Beca watched him check for the millionth time that he had his ticket and passport. It was weird to be with him this way. Saying goodbye at an airport was personal and meaningful and very Hollywood. She bet he was secretly thrilled when she told him she'd wave him off.

"Well, I guess it's off to security then."

Jesse stood straight and watched her face fall almost unperceptively. He was kind of glad she found his leaving sad. It meant he wasn't the only one pining for longer. Or, he supposed, pining for a time machine to take them back two years.

It was quiet for a moment as Jesse settled his bag on his back and they began to walk. Neither of them were in a rush so they took their time, committing the bittersweet moment to their memory.

"Jesse," Beca begun quietly. "Thank you. For visiting me. It was very sweet of you."

He laced his fingers with hers and smiled at her. "You're very welcome. Thank you for having me. I had fun."

Beca just hummed thoughtfully and nodded. He tried again.

"When will I see you again?"

She shrugged. Their joint hands swung lazily between them. "I'm not sure. I've used up all my vacation days at work, and I'm so busy there, especially with Melbourne so worked up."

Jesse sighed. "I'll miss you."

She lent up and kissed him. "Me too."

Jesse wrapped his free arm around her waist and pulled her closer, his lips moving against hers desperately, sadly, neither of them wanting this to end. Beca wanted to drag him back to her apartment and keep him there forever. Jesse wanted to sneak her in his bag and take her home to where she belonged.

Beca pulled away and ran a hand through his hair. "Let's not drag this out, yeah? It'll just make it harder."

"We'll find a way to see each other soon." Jesse nodded, trying to remain positive. "This is just a simple see you later. This is not goodbye."

Beca rest her hands against his chest, focussing her attention of her fingers as they bent to stroke his t shirt. "Jesse…" She sighed and shook her head and he wondered what she was about to say.

"Yeah?"

She bit her lip and decided, looking back up into his eyes and attempting a smile. "See you later."

Jesse kissed her one last time before releasing her, keeping a grip on one of her hands. "I'll see you again soon Miss Mitchell," he said confidently, stepping backwards slowly. He smiled in amusement. "You can't stay away for long."

And as their fingers finally separated and he turned to pass through security, Beca knew he was completely right.

* * *

**So what did you guys think? A bit of a filler chapter but I'm really excited for the next one; it's a big flashback chapter that reveals a lot about their past relationship that I hope you'll all enjoy! Could there be more revelation on the fire? Stay tuned!**

**Next chapter...  
**_**Jesse was never really off her mind, she realised. Even if he was just lurking in the back of it, he was there, offering his opinion on everything, manipulating her thoughts, sending her off into a spin. It was infuriating and annoying and yet somehow, completely natural. He belonged there, in her head, in her heart…**_

_**She cut off her thought before it reached dangerous levels of development.**_


	13. Jesse's Girl

**Holy crapbags guys, I'm so excited to share this with you. I'm quite literally freaking out with excitement. I just, I need to stop typing because otherwise I will just ruin the entire chapter for you.**

**Flashback chapter! They are not in any form of order, to clarify, they are jumbled for a reason. Well not really but I preferred it this way. And they are not italicised because then almost all the chapter will be in italics... But they are split so you will know what's going on! Hopefully!**

**Also just want to say a thank you to Jecalove who I can't reply to as she's a guest reviewer, but thank you for clarifying everything for me :) was greatly appreciated!**

**Shoutout to ohchan for her reviews that are as awesome as Christmas.**

**Back to the story! Eek! Hope you guys enjoy this!**

* * *

**13 – JESSE'S GIRL**

Two weeks passed by in the worst way.

For Jesse, the world suddenly seemed so dull. He had been surrounded by the amazing brightness of Beca's world, and now everything seemed colourless and boring. An awkward stay at home with his parents had dragged and he had spent much of the trip locked in his room, watching the longest movies he owned to try and encourage time to progress faster. Returning to Barden had been what he thought would get him out of his funk and it had; for about ten minutes, before the excitement of seeing his friends again had worn off. He then realised where he was, who he was without, and once more the world paled in comparison to his long weekend with her.

Beca was experiencing something very similar. She found herself even more short-tempered and grumpy, something her boss took it personally enough to turn it back on her and make her even worse. She was unhappy and infuriated. Despite him only being in her home for a few days, Beca found herself increasingly depressed at not coming home to find him there. Everything seemed to smell of his cologne. Everything somehow reminded her of something to do with him; her record stack was where he had complained about how dysfunctional her storage system was, her sofa was where they had failed to talk things over, that tile on the kitchen floor was where he had slipped and thrown a glass of water over her accidently. He had infected every inch of her apartment and it just made Beca miss him more.

Both of them had been inundated with questions from their friends about the weekend. Neither knew how to reply properly. Yes, it had been incredible; no, they were not back together; yes, it had triggered some old feelings; no, they had no idea what to do about it.

Until that Thursday morning.

Beca stepped bleary eyed into the shower, letting the hot water drain down her face. She had dreamt of him again, seen him surrounded by the flames. She had watched him burn, helpless. Beca had awoken sweaty and in a panic; imagining him burning instead of her caught her off guard and terrified her more than she dared try to accept. She tried not to look into it too much, instead deciding to focus on something else; anything else. But no. Within seconds, Jesse was back on her mind.

She grumbled and let the water fall down hard on the back of her shoulders. Jesse was never really _off _her mind, she realised. Even if he was just lurking in the back of it, he was there, offering his opinion on everything, manipulating her thoughts, sending her off into a spin. It was infuriating and annoying and yet somehow, completely natural. He belonged there, in her head, in her heart…

She cut off her thought before it reached dangerous levels of development.

But Jesse was still there. And she was suddenly remembering. She was remembering everything.

* * *

"Jesse Swanson! What the hell is this?!"

Freshman year in the studio, a week after her arrest. They had been working separately, their friendship still rocky after the happenings outside the police station. Okay so not rocky; they hadn't spoken at all. Until, it seemed, that moment, when Beca went to put back an album and found, attached to Creed's _My Own Prison_, a pair of pink fluffy handcuffs.

Beca looked up at the balcony that Jesse was leaning over casually, holding the handcuffs gingerly between her finger and thumb. He was grinning at her while she glared at him. She was suppressing a smile though and she knew he knew it.

"Those are so next time you want to get handcuffed you'll be more comfortable." He said it so seriously that Beca had to take a second to collect herself. It felt like forever since they had interacted and it seemed her tolerance level had been significantly weakened.

"You think this is funny?" She held them up and raised her eyebrows. Their eyes were locked in a battle, his mouth twisted into a smirk and hers perfectly serious. The neon pink cuffs were dangling from her finger, her other hand on her hip (Jesse would later tell her how attractive she had been in that moment, standing there with a sexy attitude).

And then she snorted and began to laugh. Because she couldn't believe he had gone out and bought handcuffs just to break the tension. Because he had so obviously wanted them to be friends again that he's given in when she, honestly, should be the one to apologise. But mostly because she had missed him, no matter how much she had tried to not get attached.

He joined in, her laughter infectious. He lent further over the railings, his eyes shining at her, and she settled into a smile. Beca was glad they were able to talk again; the station had become weirdly awkward and lonely without their usual banter.

He winked at her slyly. "Who knows, maybe you'll find an ulterior use for them."

* * *

Beca hadn't known how important that day was when she woke up. How could she? When she climbed begrudgingly out of bed and opened the door for her boyfriend who was wringing his hands anxiously and had a very serious frown developing across his forehead, Beca had glared at him. Because how was she supposed to know this was an important day?

"Jesse, what have I told you about waking me up early at the weekend?"

He glanced at his watch and looked up in surprise. "Bec it's gone midday."

"Oh!" she said in surprise. She opened her door further to let him in and she started to settle back under her duvet, fully expecting him to join her for their usual cuddling that she insisted she hated.

"You haven't been answering your phone." Jesse just stood there in the middle of her room, her eyes focussing on her record stacks instead of her. Something was off. Jesse always looked at her; she had joked that his gaze was surgically altered to only be attached to her.

"I've been sleeping…" Beca sat up, leaning back on her hands, trying to decipher what was going on.

"You should check it."

Unsure what was going, Beca reached behind her for it, her eyes never leaving Jesse's unusually unhappy face. He finally glanced at her, watching her hold it but not turn it on. She was confused; she wanted answers.

"What's going on?" Beca narrowed her eyes are him. "What aren't you telling me?"

Sighing into submission, Jesse sat on the edge of her bed, taking her free hand in both of his. His eyes were sad, gentle, sympathetic. She had never seen him this way and it scared her.

"The Bella's need you," he began, and he watched her sit up a little straighter. She had become very protective over her harmonising group of friends; a threat against any one of them was a threat to them all.

"Is Amy missing again?" Beca tried to joke. "Because there was a swimming competition last night. She's probably just at their hotel."

But Jesse was shaking his head and he was so serious, so subdued, that Beca found herself beginning to panic, pulling her hand away to turn on her phone and find out what Jesse seemed very reluctant to break to her.

He stood up, ready to do whatever she needed, ready to take whatever she threw at him. Figuratively or literally. This was unchartered ground for them; he didn't know her reactions for this kind of thing yet.

She listened to her full up voicemail, her eyes scanning Jesse's weary face. He watched her face grow pained, watched her eyes grow round and her free hand clenching tightly into a fist. After a few minutes she dropped the phone to her duvet. She threw herself out of the bed and Jesse braced himself, but she just flew past, her pyjama top already off, rooting through her wardrobe for anything she could find to wear.

He didn't speak. He let her have her time to think as she changed. She appreciated it, and showed him by threading her fingers with his when she was dressed, pulling him out of her room and towards Lily's dorm.

"How long has she known?" Her grip was tight and Jesse trailed two steps behind, rushing to keep up with his girlfriends determined pace.

"A few hours I think. Stacie said she got the call pretty early. Denise heard her smash something through their joint wall and she called Cynthia Rose, which started the chain. Stacie called me when you didn't answer."

He saw the back of her head nod and jogged so he was beside her, pulling her to stop to look at her. Beca was in full blown mother-hen mode and she resisted, baffled at why he had stopped her. He just pulled her closer, wrapping his other arm around her, kissing her hair.

"Just take a moment to calm. You cannot storm in there like this. Lily needs a friend, not an army general."

She breathed in deeply, letting his scent calm her frayed nerves. She was anxious to go already, but she knew he was right; he was always right.

"Thank you," she whispered, leaning up to kiss him quickly. They walked together at a more relaxed pace, gearing up for what was about to greet them. Knowing Lily, the scene on the other side of her door could be pretty much anything imaginable.

So when Beca flung open the door and was met with the sight there, she was surprised. The Bella's were spread out around the room, sitting on the floor or the chair or the spare bed, all apart from Cynthia Rose. She sat on her friend's bed, stroking Lily's hair as she slept fitfully against Cynthia's thigh. It was so subdued and orderly that it seemed almost chaotic in how wrong it was.

"Beca!" Stacie clamoured up from her spot on the floor, keeping her voice quiet as she rushed towards her. "Thank God you're here." She glanced at Jesse and smiled at him in appreciation as the couple walked further into the room and Jesse shut the door.

"Shit guys I'm so sorry." Beca let go of Jesse's hand and stepped quietly towards her friend.

"How is she?" Jesse whispered, taking in the rumbled clothes and the tear-stained cheeks.

"She won't talk to us, she just broke a few things and cried a lot." Denise gestured to the oddly shaped towel that held all the broken shards of glass. Jessica was snivelling and Jesse wrapped an arm around her shoulders supportively.

"What was the diagnosis?" Beca asked, crouching by Lily's head and frowning sadly.

"Stage 4 melanoma." Cynthia let out a breath and leaned her head against the wall behind her. "Her mom is screwed."

Beca straightened up and walked to Jesse's side, leaning against him wearily. His hand snaked around her waist and he kissed her forehead. She had no idea what any of them were going to do.

"This is going to destroy her," Beca said unhappily.

"We need a plan of action." Jesse sounded determined, trying to make up for everyone's loss of spirit. "We can get her through this if we really try."

Beca couldn't help but small smile at how he seemed to include himself as being a part of this 'we', as being a Bella. She put a hand on his stomach as a silent thank you for being so incredible and he squeezed her hip slightly. How did she get so lucky?

* * *

Her birthday in that second year at Barden had been different to the rest. In her past years she had no one to celebrate with so often her day passed like most others. She didn't mind, she didn't think they were that big a deal. It was the anniversary of your birth, nothing more; there was no real significance other than you were legally deemed an older number.

But that birthday had been different, because the Bella's had organised a giant surprise birthday party for her at the Treble's house. The house was full of people, dancing and drinking and having a good time. The music thumped in Beca's chest, echoing dull and warped around Jesse's bedroom as she stood with her back to the door, watching him in amusement. He was fumbling around in drawers, having drunk a fair amount after getting forced into doing a keg stand. She was a little worse for wear herself, which is why she made no attempt at hiding how badly she was checking him out when he leaned over and she could see that strip of the elastic band around his underwear peeking out – her favourite of course.

"You know that you don't need to check me out, you've already seen me naked," he called over his shoulder.

"Exactly."

He didn't miss her wicked grin as he finally straightened a red box in his hand that he held up triumphantly. But before she could react, she watched how his eyes dilated a little more. Beca winced; that only meant one thing, it meant Jesse was going to make a big deal out of a small thing because it would apply to a movie plot.

Sweeping her up in his arms, he lifted her off the ground as he attacked her mouth with his own. She gripped his shoulders, passion bursting out of their kiss, his touch like wildfire. It was incredible and beautiful and Beca never wanted it to end.

"Happy birthday Bec," he murmured against her lips as he set her gently to the ground, a corner of the box digging into her back.

"If it carries on like that it'll be the best birthday ever."

Jesse chuckled as he pulled away slightly, just enough to be able to hand her the box. It was tied with a white ribbon and was a square medium jewellery box. She stroked the top of it, unsure whether to open it. Out of anything she had expected from Jesse, this had not been it. She wasn't really a jewellery kind of girl and he knew it.

"It won't bite I promise." Jesse tugged lightly at one of the ribbon ends and Beca slapped his hand away. She instead pulled the ribbon free and allowed it to fall, landing partly inside the neck of her dress so it hung there. Casting one more nervous glance up to Jesse's expectant face, Beca pulled the box open.

Inside were a pair of simple diamond earrings, sparkling even in the dim lighting. Gasping, Beca almost lost her grip on the box. They were perfect.

"Jesse, they're… This must have cost a fortune!" Beca breathed around the lump of shock constricting her throat. Tears pricked her eyes and she placed a hand on his chest to steady herself.

"They're worth it." Jesse shrugged it off casually, his gaze still on her as she admired her present from all angles. "You going to put them on or what?"

Within seconds her old silver studs were out, and she was replacing them with her new ones. Jesse grinned as she gushed about how perfect they were. They looked beautiful on her and he knew she felt it. Pulling back her hands, she proudly displayed both her ears to him. They really were incredible.

He kissed her softly and smiled at her in a way that took her breath away. "You look good wearing my future."

* * *

Two days into her stay at the hospital, she woke up and grumbled at the constant ache she had had for days. Her skin tugged and was tight and itchy, wrapped up in bandages and making her very uncomfortable. She wanted to get up and walk back to her dorm room, she wanted to play her music at full blast and got lost in her world when none of the stupid crap that had happened over the past few weeks existed and she could just _be_. Beca was dazed, unsure and angry. She was furious at the world and Barden and at herself and-

Jesse.

She could feel his hand in hers now, his forehead resting on her forearm as he slept. Once more, he was mumbling away – Beca's favourite Jesse quirk. Just the feel of his touch was calming her, and she turned to watch him. He really was handsome, with his strong jaw and his full lips and his beautiful brown eyes that were watching her warily. Hang on…

"Beca, you're awake," he croaked. Clearing his throat he sat up and strengthened his grip on her hand. "How are you feeling?"

"I ache," she grumbled, pouting comically in a way she knew would make him smile. Except for then, it seemed, because he just continued to examine her face with worried eyes. "You don't need to be so worried. I'm okay." She cupped his jaw and smiled half-heartedly.

"I don't expect you to be okay love. You've been through a trauma; you're allowed to fall apart." He put his hand over hers and watched her shrug casually.

"I'm okay, seriously. Though I'd kill for pizza right now."

He frowned, his eyes flickering over her face, looking for any signs she was lying. He found them, because he knew her so well, but all he did was press his lips together and nod. He could tell how much she didn't want to talk about it all – even more so, how much she didn't want to fall apart in front of him. And so he let her pretend to be okay, because that's the kind of guy he was – he wouldn't push her too far, because he understood that she'd let him in when she was ready.

"I can order some pizza for you. While we wait, you wanna watch a movie?"

She smiled despite herself and did her best to shuffle across the bed. He grabbed his bag and pulled out his laptop, not even needing to ask what she wanted to watch to distract herself – _The Breakfast Club _was already loaded onto the screen. He squeezed himself into the space she had been made, and despite the tugging she could feel, Beca got comfortable against his side. He wrapped his arm around her, being careful not to touch any of her bandages.

And as the beginning credits began to play with their song playing in the background, Beca let herself sink into Jesse's embrace, completely at ease in his arms.

* * *

"Jesse, seriously, this could not get any more corny." Beca scoffed and popped a grape in her mouth, smirking as he held his hand out to her. It was their third date and he had taken her for a picnic at the beach, the sun set casting a glow on Jesse's face. They had eaten all the picking food Jesse has been able to find, their blanket now scattered with dirty paper plates and used napkins.

"Beca, if you deny me the opportunity for a perfect movie moment, I might just have to do something drastic." He gestured her to him with his fingers but she stayed stubbornly on the blanket, her arms and legs crossed.

"Like what?" she challenged with a grin.

"Like…" He made a show of his face falling into an evil snare. "Throw you in the ocean."

Beca had every intention of going to him, but she found his desperation amusing. The sun was so close to being gone and she didn't want to ruin his apparent dream, so she rolled her eyes dramatically and huffed as she let him pull her up.

"This isn't going to work you know," she said matter of factly. He ignored her and wrapped an arm around her waist, keeping tight hold of her hand close to his chest. His thumb was stroking circles on her lower back and it was distracting her, so the end of her sentence came out breathy. "There's no music."

He winked at her and pulled her even closer, beginning to sway gently. Her hand, acting on its own, traced up his arm and held onto his bicep, her fingertips digging into his muscles. Nothing could hide the smile on her face, could stop her from swaying with him. Beca let him lead and felt herself relax into his arms as they swayed to a beat playing only in Jesse's mind.

"_When I look into your eyes, it's like watching the night sky, or a beautiful sunrise_," he sung under his breath, staring into her eyes and smiling at the blush that graced her cheeks. "_There's so much they hold and just like them old stars, I see that you've come so far to be right where you are. How old is your soul?_"

"You're a weirdo," she said, laughing, wrapping her arms around his neck. She couldn't stop smiling and she knew she should hate the effect he was having on her, but she couldn't help it. He made her feel free and loved and special.

"_I won't give up on us, even if the skies get rough, I'm giving you all my love, I'm still looking up._" Jesse rested his forehead against hers. "_And when you're needing your space, to do some navigating, I'll be here patiently waiting, to see what you find._"

"_'Cause even the stars they burn_," she found herself joining in, and he stopped singing to let her carry on. "_Some even fall to the earth, we've got a lot to learn, God knows we're worth it, no, I won't give up._"

"You're pretty good," he said with fake surprise. "I mean, I'm obviously better but-" She smacked him playfully and then rested her cheek on his chest.

"_I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily, I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make,_" Beca sang softly, feeling his arms tighten around her."_Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use the tools and gifts we got, yeah, we got a lot at stake. And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend, for us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn, we had to learn how to bend without the world caving in, I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not, and who I am._"

"_I won't give up on us, even if the skies get rough,_" they sung together; him into her hair, her into his shirt. "_ I'm giving you all my love, I'm still looking up, still looking up._"

And as they sang, Beca knew she meant every word. She wasn't just smitten with the guy – she was a goner, he had her hook line and sinker and somehow, despite everything that should tell her otherwise, she knew she had found her guy. She would never love another, never be another, and even though it would get difficult at times, she would never leave. Because Jesse was it for her. She wouldn't give up on him.

* * *

Beca didn't notice the tears as they merged with the cooling shower, didn't notice her trembling hands; it was the sobbing that told her she was crying, the loud gasps for air as she began to have a panic attack in the shower.

How had she been so stupid? How had she so thoughtlessly ignored all of this?

She couldn't breathe, her stomach twisting into knots as she pressed her forehead against the glass shower door. She was shaking uncontrollably and she collapsed to the shower's floor, holding her legs to her chest as she rocked. The shaper spray continued to hit her but she barely noticed. She was lost in her epiphany.

Jesse was incredible. He was sunshine and rainbows and unicorns and her whole life she had fought against that, she had thought she was perfectly fine on her own. And she was. But fine wasn't good enough anymore, because that's what sunshine and rainbows and unicorns does; it makes you feel lucky, optimistic, gives you all the fuzzy feelings. Take that away? Fine suddenly wasn't good enough. It was average, boring. She wanted exhilarating, passionate, she wanted the whole thing. She wanted Jesse. No, she needed him.

And yes, she had known that before. She had known for years. But her trip down memory lane had shown her just how good and pure he was. Because Jesse was loving and kind and beautiful. He was supportive, not just to her, but for her friends. He was romantic and corny. Considerate and adoring. He was everything she wasn't her polar opposite.

But he made her better. He made her want to be more. He made her want to be just like him. Jesse was everything she'd never wanted and yet had always needed, and the revelation took her breath away.

She loved him with everything she had. She loved him more than anyone else, more than her life in LA, more than music. She loved him so much that it made her ache. Just in a really good way.

But she was here, freaking out in a shower, alone and miserable. She wasn't supposed to be here. She was supposed to be with Jesse. She was _destined _to be with Jesse.

Launching herself out of the shower, she grabbed a towel and rushed to dry herself off. No make up, no hair styling, just any clothes she could find, her purse and her phone. She didn't need anything else. She grinned with breathlessly elation at how good she felt about her revelation. And as she turned to run out the door, something caught her eye. Sparkling there in her ears were the earrings, having never been taken out since that birthday two years ago. She touched them hesitantly, her grin growing impossibly wider. He had always been with her. Right there the whole time. And as she raced out of the door, shutting the door easily on her runaway life, she remembered his words.

_"You look good wearing my future."_

What he didn't know was that his future was on her way; she was coming back. For good.

* * *

**I KNOW! (Monica moment).**

**Feel free to inundate me with reviews of your freaking out (it's probably very egotistical to presume you will have loved that and are incredibly emotional but I've seen the reviews you guys post, I know the kind thing I'm expecting from you all ;P)**

**Oh, and some shameless self promoting of my new mini story Happy Endings! please go take a peek!**

**Oh! Just to clarify, the movie reference from the birthday scene is from Some Kind Of Wonderful (I highly recommend everyone watches it, it's from John Hughes who created the Breakfast Club and it is my headcanon that Jesse loves him just as much as I do.) And the song from the date scene is I Won't Give Up by Jason Mraz. Kinda suits them perfectly don't you think?**

**No next chapter preview today! I think it's already abundantly clear what will be featuring in the next chapter from the last line ;)**


	14. Dedication To My Ex

**Guys, know I love you. I really do. And know that I cried a little writing this chapter. I am torn between whether I want you all to or not. But right now, this, I'm just so proud of. I'm so proud of this whole story and of all the support you guys have given me. It really warms my heart. Seriously, thank you guys so much.**

**Also want to include some love for my guest reviewers who review every chapter and are incredible. I wish I could reply to your reviews! but know that I appreciate them so much :)**

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**14 - DEDICATION TO MY EX**

Amy was bored.

She didn't like waiting. She didn't like cleanliness. She didn't like the way everyone was rushing, not paying any attention to her. Because, let's face, she was hot. And bored. Where were all the cute guys?

She groaned and crossed her arms, watching the people slowly filtering out of the terminal. She was waiting for Beca, and okay yes she was not very inspired by the scenery or the fact she was sitting on the bonnet of the car she had borrowed from one of the freshman Bella. But she was excited. Beca was back and she had no idea why but seeing her old friend again, twice in four months? Amy was pumped imagining all the parties.

She didn't know why Beca was back. She had supposed the runaway might return for the finals as it would be deemed a good enough excuse to come back and see her (okay, Jesse, but Amy could pretend) without ruining her flippant attitude. But finals weren't for another few weeks.

Amy knew that things had been heating up between the old flame again. It had been obvious by the way Beca had hidden her blushing face in her hands when she had Skyped her after Jesse left. And honestly, Amy was excited about it. She had missed seeing her pal Jesse happy as he walked around campus, had missed that extra spark in his performance he used to have when she was in the crowd watching. And of course she missed Beca. Not having her in the Bella's with her eye rolling and her sarky comments had felt wrong somehow.

A wolf-whistle alerted Amy out of her thoughts and she looked around hungrily, trying to pick out some man candy. However, an even more pleasant sight met her eyes; Beca Mitchell.

"Looking good there sweet thing!" Beca called in a Southern drawl as she made her way towards her. Amy, losing her cool for just a moment, hopped up excitedly and wrapped her tiny friend in her arms. Pulling back, she flipped her hair and tried to gain composure.

"Thanks so much for getting me Amy." Beca grinned at her and Amy couldn't help but note how… Different she seemed. Like all her worries were gone. Like she'd finally brushed away that chip on her shoulder.

"Anything for you flat butt. You gonna explain why I had to get here under a shroud of secrecy?"

They climbed into the car as Beca chuckled. "You did keep it a secret right?"

"Yeah I skipped rehearsals. They probably just think I'm with the swim team again."

Beca smiled at her friend as she started the engine, pulling out of the parking space so quickly she almost hit a concrete beam.

"Come on, spill."

Beca sighed and leaned back into the passenger seat. She was about to made a lying retort but she instead opted for honesty. "I've got to talk to Jesse."

"Thought you couldn't get any more time off?" Amy glanced towards her for just a second, keeping her focus on the road. The last thing they needed right now was to crash.

"I made some arrangements." Beca shrugged. "This is too important."

Amy paused and let the implication sink in. "Oh my God you're gonna do a big aca-romantic gesture thing again aren't you."

Beca cringed at her use of 'aca' (the one thing she had not missed in LA) but made no comment. "I don't know, I just need to see him."

Amy increased her speed, a little over excited at what she was picturing in her head.

Beca looked out of the window, watching the road and a bordering trees zoom past. She was nervous. So nervous it was making her feel a little sick. But she wouldn't let it put her off. Beca had a mission and she was determined to fulfil it.

"What's your plan?" Amy said excitedly.

Beca's shoulders slumped and she scrunched up her face. "I don't actually have one."

"Good." Amy smirked at her, her eyes gleaming mischievously. "Because I have the perfect idea."

* * *

The next evening, and the plan was set.

Jesse walked into Howard's in his Treble's hoody, his eyes quickly finding what he was looking for. The rest of the Treble Makers followed him, laughing and joking around. Tonight, Jesse wasn't working. He was here on a social call, though he was slightly suspicious of its motive.

"Hey there Romeo!" Amy called out to Jesse, waving her arm wildly despite him already knowing where they were. The Bella's sat dispersed across a large cluster of chairs that lined the front of the stage. They already had drinks (Stacie had sweet-talked Freddy into letting the many Bella's under 21 drink alcohol, claiming on a favour he owed her that no one wanted to know any more about) and were talking excitedly amongst themselves. As Jesse got closer, they cut off, all eyes on the rival group.

Amy had called Jesse the day before, offering a never-before-attempted truce for the evening. She had claimed the karaoke-filled night would 'help with their rehearsals' and it would be a night 'to go down in history'. He had cautiously accepted the invitation, figuring the Trebles could do with a break and just enjoy their time off.

As the boys interspersed into the space, taking seats and beginning to chat to the girls, Jesse aimed towards Amy, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.

"I'm here against my better judgement." He crossed his arms and she squared up to him.

"Because you know we're going to thrash you at karaoke as well as at the ICCa's?"

He smirked and eyed her playfully. "I thought this was a truce?"

She shrugged, uncrossing her arms and smiling back for just a second. "You caught me. It's a get together with a hint of competition."

"The rules?"

"One Treble, one Bella. We all go up in pairs and sing – Freddy chooses the winner."

Jesse glanced back to his friend who was grinning at him knowingly. He shook it off, turning back to Amy and her challenging gaze.

"Sounds easy enough. How do we decide the pairs?"

Amy gestured to two large glasses on the table behind her. They each held some slips of papers. "Captains pick out two names first from the opposing teams cup. After that, whoever just went up picks the next names."

Jesse looked past Amy and saw that everyone had gone quiet, staring at them deciding on the rules. All of the Treble's nodded at him and so Jesse shook Amy's hand but held onto it for a moment.

"What's the prize?"

"Losing team pays the tab."

"Deal."

The Bella's began to whisper excitedly and the teams settled into their seats. Jesse watched everyone in confusion. What was going on? Why was everyone acting so weird?

He didn't spot the hooded figure peaking out from the door that led to the basement, watching as the teams began to settle.

"I'll knock when it's time," Freddy muttered as he walked casually past, tapping the door reassuringly. Beca just let out a shaky breath, praying to anyone who might hear that this all went according to plan.

An hour had passed since the Barden University a Capella Karaoke Competition began. Quips had been thrown, playful insults made, an air of friendly competition that had soon morphed into just pairing up and having a laugh. The strangest pairing had sung some weird songs – Jesse was sure he'd never forget Benjie and Ashley harmonising to _Bohemian Rhapsody_– and it had turned into a really good evening.

Currently on stage were Fat Amy and Jesse, performing _Man, I Feel Like A Woman_. As Jesse sang about men shirts and short skirts, Stacie wolf whistled. He winked and laughed as Amy sung her part. He felt foolish but the two beers he had consumed seemed to have given him more confidence. He swayed his hips and pretended to flick hair out of his face and the Treble's cat called to him.

As it was the evening, the bar was relatively busy, though they seemed to be leaving the large group of friendly rivals to their competition, all watching in amusement. The opposing teams took up most of the space on the floor, chairs crowded around the front of the stage. Freddy was watching from behind the bar, laughing as his friend made a fool of himself, completely oblivious to what was about to go down. But for now, he could enjoy it, and it made Freddy smile. He had never seen Jesse so at ease.

The singing duo finally climbed down the stage, laughing hysterically as they returned to their seats. The cups were held out towards them but Jesse was laughing too hard so waved off the name picking to Benjie, who very poorly tried to hide his smirk at Amy.

It was now or never.

A slight slip of the hand and Amy pulled out the pre-arranged name from her sleeve as Benjie had taught her. She called out dramatically for Donald to take the stage, flopping into seat beside Jesse as he wiped at his eyes. She watched him for a moment in amusement; he really didn't have a clue. The surprise of a lifetime was about to hit him and he had no idea.

The chatter around him masked out the sound of knuckles on wood.

Donald walked onto the stage and Jesse waited for his partner to join him, confused when he just stood there alone. He was grinning at the crowd and he beckoned at someone, the two groups surrounding him falling into an eerie silence.

_"Strumming my pain with his fingers,  
Singing my life with his words,  
Killing me softly with his song."_

The voice. He knew that voice.

Jesse jumped out his seat and spun to see an all too familiar face walking through the crowd, her jeans tight and her sequined tank top shining in the stage lights. Her eyes connected with his. She smiled nervously as she sung.

_"Killing me softly with his song,  
Telling my whole life with his words,  
Killing me softly with his song._"

Beca reached the stage steps and walked onto stage as Donald began to beat box for the backing track, Beca humming along. She bowed low in front of Donald and he offered his hand to her, making her laugh as she made of a show of kissing his knuckles. The two groups whistled and clapped wildly at her appearance, but Jesse was frozen, unable to comprehend what he was watching, just letting her voice consume him.

_"I heard he sang a good song,  
I heard he had a style,  
And so I came to see him,  
And listen for a while.  
And there he was this young boy,  
Stranger to my eyes._

_"Strumming my pain with fingers,  
Singing my life with his words.  
Killing me softly with his song,  
Killing me softly with his song,  
Telling me while his with words,  
Killing me softly with his song."_

She tore herself away, looking instead around the group, smiling as they stood and clapped to the beat. He wasn't reacting, he wasn't doing anything. Why wasn't he doing anything? Beca grew more anxious. Did he understand?

_"I felt all flushed with fever,  
Embarrassed by the crowd.  
I felt he found my letters,  
And read each one out loud.  
I prayed that he would finish,  
But he just kept right on._

_"Strumming my pain with his fingers,  
Singing my life with his words,  
Killing me softly with his song,  
Killing me softly with his song,  
Telling my whole life with his words,  
Killing me softly with his song."_

As she let Donald free style, clapping along with the audience, she looked at Jesse. He was fidgeting, back in his seat, eyes flickering between her and his hands. She wondered if he knew that she was here just for him. If he knew that she was only really singing to him, because it was true: his presence here, his reappearance in her life, it was too much to deal with. It felt like it was killing her, smothering her with the memories of the beautiful disaster that was their relationship.

_"Strumming my pain with his fingers,  
Yes he was singing my life with his words,  
Killing me softly with his song,  
Killing me softly with his song,  
Telling my whole life with his words  
Killing me softly  
With his song."_

But she was prepared to let it kill her, because she loved him and no matter what, that would never change. She was ready to throw herself into their relationship, to accept all the good and all the bad. She was ready for anything that happened, because she knew now, she knew without hesitation that Jesse would love her all the way through it. He accepted all of her many flaws, he knew her soul, he loved her for all she was.

And that is why the song melted into a new tune. To show him how she'd changed.

_"I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily  
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make  
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use  
The tools and gifts we got, yeah, we got a lot at stake."_

Jesse felt his breath leave his body so quickly it made him dizzy, his eyes transfixed on her. She was singing the song. She was singing their song, from their third date, the night she let him in completely. A tear dripped down to her arm but she kept her eyes on him, watching him, trying to convey what she needed to. He needed to see it. He needed to know it.

_"And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend  
For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn  
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in  
I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not, and who I am"_

She bent down and sat on her knees, holding her hand out to him. Amy nudged him forward and he grasped it, letting her sing to him, her voice quieter, her words meant for only him.

_"I won't give up on us  
Even if the skies get rough  
I'm giving you all my love  
I'm still looking up, still looking up._

_I won't give up on us  
God knows I'm tough enough  
We've got a lot to learn  
God knows we're worth it."_

The entire bar was perfectly silent, every set of eyes turned on the pair as they just stared at each other. They were caught up in their moment and it seemed no one had any intention of breaking it.

"I'm not running away anymore," she breathed to him, more tears slipping down. "I've given up trying to be away from you."

"Thank God," he murmured back. "The chasing was getting exhausting."

She threw her arms around his neck and let him pull her off the stage, wrapping his arms around her waist as she secured her legs around his hips. They clung to each other, so glad to be back in one anothers arms, so content in the others embrace.

Benjie began the clapping. The applause quickly spread like wild fire through the bar as Beca reluctantly let herself back to the ground, laughing through her happy tears as the Bella's began whistling and the Treble's shouted. He held onto just her hand as he stepped back and gestured to her lavishly, raising an eyebrow at her until she bowed, still grinning but embarrassed at the attention they were drawing. He chuckled and pulled her back to him, finally kissing her sweetly as the crowd broke out into a fresh round of applause.

All was right in their little world.

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**So what did you guys think?! Leave me a review and let me know! The end of the chapter sounded a little conclusion-ish but this isn't the end! There's a few more chapters still to go so don't you all worry.**

**The songs for this chapter were Killing Me Softly by The Fugees and I Won't Give Up by Jason Mraz (yes again but it was for a good reason!). Both awesome songs so go check them out if you don't know them.**

**Next chapter... The BONUS!  
****_Jesse walked to the stage alone, and started flicking through the song book. Murmurs spread through the group as they wondered what he was doing. He made a show of running his finger down the page, tapping triumphantly when he found whatever he was looking for.  
_****_Beca had a growing sense of dread._**


	15. Meatloaf To Go, Please

**This chapter is more a bonus scene that anything. It's actually the first part of this story that I wrote because the song just resonated with me. I saw the plot unfold before me when I listened to it and it's how it began, so I wanted to include this somehow but it didn't really fit into the previous chapter and it's the wrong mood for the next, so here it is on it's own.**

**The song is ****_It's All Coming Back To Me Now _****by Meatloaf and Marion Raven. I quite enjoyed putting the song on when I re-read the chapter so I could read along to the tune if you guys fancy that. It was difficult to portray which parts were sung by the male and female so I gave them different effects:  
The male part is in **_simple italics.  
_**The female part is in ****_bold and italics.  
_****The joint parts are in **_underlined italics__**.**_

**This is also the first chapter in the story not named after a song! Bit of trivia for you there.**

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**15 - MEATLOAF TO GO, PLEASE**

"You know what I hate about what just happened?"

Beca lifted her head from his shoulder ten minutes after their performance, to hear what was most likely going to be some over dramatic conclusion. She was sitting on his lap, his arms around her as they watched Stacie and Benjie singing Stacey's Mom. He looked nervous as Stacie swung her hips seductively, her highly sexualised nature coming through and making the poor boy very on edge.

"It means you're two up on me on the grand romantic gestures."

She rolled her eyes and settled back onto his shoulder, tangling her fingers with his. "Better get thinking then. You're falling behind."

He hummed for a second and nodded, turning his attention back to the stage.

"I loved it, don't get me wrong. Really. It's one for the record books," he added, feeling her smile into his jacket.

"But?" she encouraged, feeling he wasn't done.

"Well, I still don't know why you're here. Why you evidently got all of our friends to trick me into being here. Why you made this intricate plan to reel me into your trap and" – he gasped dramatically – "Are you going to eat me? Are you secretly a giant spider?"

She frowned but smirked at his weird ramblings, blatantly trying (and failing) to make light of his questions as to her appearance. She closed her eyes for a moment as she tried to think of a good enough answer that wouldn't start them having the long talk about their relationship here in the middle of the bar. Beca knew it had to happen, but she wanted it to be private, be just between them, not surrounded by all of their college friends.

"Yes you have uncovered my dastardly plan," she deadpanned. "I am going to talk you to death later on when I have the privacy to do with you as I please."

His laughter told her that he understood, and so he instead patted her knee and moved to get up.

"Where are you going?" she asked in alarm.

He just grinned at her wickedly in response.

Jesse walked to the stage alone, and started flicking through the song book. Murmurs spread through the group as they wondered what he was doing. He made a show of running his finger down the page, tapping triumphantly when he found whatever he was looking for.

Beca had a growing sense of dread.

"Miss Mitchell, you better get your cute self up here!" Jesse ushered her with his free hand, grinning at her as her expression grew sour. Flicking the book shut, he walked to centre stage. He saw her narrow eyes and just shrugged. "You better follow the rules... Or does this mean you forfeit and the Trebles win?"

Beca sighed as the Bella's grew anxious and tried to coax her up to the stage. Great, so she had to choose between a performance with her ex that he had evidently set up to be ridiculous, or face the wrath of Amy who was not prepared to lose.

"Once a Bella, always a Bella!" Stacie called. "Get on up there!"

Beca pressed her lips together, watching him as he smiled at her. She grumbled as she got out of her chair and walked towards him, their friends encouraging her with applause. She grabbed the microphone Jesse offered and climbed up on stage, eyeing him suspiciously. "What are you up to?"

He just winked and press play. The piano backing echoed around the bar and Beca groaned. "Are you serious?"

Jesse just grinned and began to sing.

_There were nights when the wind was so cold,  
That my body froze in bed if I just listened to it right outside the window._

He pointed at her, just like he used to, and Beca rolled her eyes but joined in for the female part.

**_There was days when the sun was so cruel,  
That all the tears turned to dust and I just knew my eyes were drying up forever._**

Jesse turned to the crowd as they began to sing together, being over dramatic with his arms.

_I finished crying in the instant that you left,  
And I can't remember where or when or how.  
And I banished every memory you and I had ever made._

He turned back to her, his eyes meaningful. She could feel the words coming straight from his heart, and she had to swallow hard to get her words out around the lump in her throat.

_But when you touch me like this_  
**_(Touch me like this)_**_  
And if you hold me like that  
__**(Hold me like that)**__  
I just have to admit that it's__ all coming back to me._

_When I touch like you this  
__**(Touch you like this)**__  
And when I hold you like that  
__**(Hold you like that)**__  
It's so hard to believe but it's __all coming back to me__ now._

Beca missed her line as she couldn't look away, transfixed by his eyes that bore into her soul. He never missed a beat, continuing to sing as he stepped towards her.

_There were moments of gold and there were__ flashes of light,__  
There were things I'd never do again but then they'd __always seem right,__  
And there were__ nights of endless pleasure,  
It was more than any laws allowed._

She glanced back, but he was looking out at the audience. He caught her gaze and he winked at her, laughing at her displeased expression.

_Baby baby,_  
_If I kiss you like this  
__**(Kiss you like this)**__  
And if you whisper like that  
__**(Whisper like that)**__  
It was lost long ago but it's__ all coming back to me__.  
If you want me like this,  
__**(If you want me like this)**__  
And if you need me like that,  
__**(Id you need me like that)**__  
It was dead long ago but it's __all coming back to me,  
It's so hard to resist and it's all coming back to me,__  
__It can barely recall but it's all coming back to me now._

He hadn't chosen this song by accident. She knew he hadn't, because it was too relevant. It was their break up to a tee and even though he was playing up as he sang, she could see he meant it all. He understood her message by being here, and she understood his message in his song.

_But you were history with the slamming of the door,  
And I made myself so strong again somehow.  
And I never wasted any of my time on you since then._

_But if i touch you like this_

_**(Touch you like this)**__  
And if you kiss me like that  
__**(Kiss me like that)**__  
It was so long ago but it's __all coming back to me.__  
If you touch like me this,_  
**_(Touch me like this)_**_  
And if I kiss you like that,  
__**(Kiss you like that)**__  
It was gone with the wind but it's __all coming back to me __now._

_**It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now,**__  
There were moments of gold and there were __flashes of light__,  
There were things we'd never do again but then they'd __always seem right,  
__And there were__ nights of endless pleasure,  
It was more than any laws allowed. _

They were facing each other, the audience forgotten. They were the only two people left in the world.

_Baby baby baby,  
When you touch me__ like this  
(__**Touch me like this)**__  
And if you hold me like that  
__**(Hold me like that)**__  
It was gone with the wind but it's __all coming back to me.__  
When you see me like this  
__**(See me like this)**__  
And when I see you like that  
__**(See you like that)**__  
Then we see what went wrong to see it's __all coming back to me.  
The flesh and the fantasy's all coming back to me.  
I can barely recall but its all coming back to me now._

Jesse grabbed her hand, her thumb gently rubbing her knuckle as he sang quietly. She glanced down at their hands, smiling at how perfectly they fit together. She didn't know what to do. So she tried to show him through her touch how much she meant the next lyrics.

_If you forgive me all this,  
__**(Forgive me all this)  
**__If I forgive you all that,  
__**(Forgive you all that)  
**__Will you forgive and forget?  
And it's __all coming back to me now._

Jesse understood. He got her message loud clear. He nodded once and she couldn't hide her grin. Suddenly, he had no desire to be there. He loved his friends but there was something in the way that Beca was staring at him that made him heavily require a bed and a bit of privacy. Yes, they needed to talk, but they had their entire lives to discuss their issues.

**_It's all coming back to me now.  
_**_When I touch you like this,  
__**It's all coming back to me now.  
**__And if you do it like this,  
__**It's all coming back to me now.**_

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**Okay so there it is! It's not full of much but I just wanted to share it with you guys. New chapter with some serious problem solving coming up soon!**


	16. The Importance Of Being Honest

**Guys this is so horrible to post :(**** I think this story has reached it's ending. After this chapter, I think there will only be one more, at a push two, and it depresses me so much because I love this story so much. The amount of support you have all given me is incredible, and I want to write this forever to make you guys happy, but it just feels right to end it. I would end it here if I could, but I feel like I have a few things to clear up.**

**I hope you guys enjoy this, and if you have any questions, please send them to me. If there's any thing you think I still need to answer about this story, then please do not hesitate to message me in any way, because I want to give this story closure, so I will find a way to write the last chapter and answer all your questions.**

**I love you all so much, you're all incredible.**

* * *

**16 - THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING HONEST**

It took 27 minutes to finally be alone.

27 minutes of rushed goodbyes, taxi hailing, and fast running.

But they had made it back to Jesse's room, finally, and Beca stood in the door, laughing at the sight before her.

She shouldn't have been so surprised at the sight that met her really. It was so _Jesse_. Three pale blue walls littered with music and movie posters old and new, the last wall parallel to his bed consumed almost entirely by shelves and shelves of DVDs and books. His desk was covered in papers and old coffee cups from his favourite place down the road. His beloved blue laptop sat proudly in the midst of the chaos there, a strip of photos stuck down the side of the screen. With a blush, Beca recognised them as the ones they had taken in LA a few weeks before.

Jesse did not have the distraction of judging a new room. Instead, he was confused. He was awkward. He was doubtful. Beca had run back to him and declared it, publicly, and then Jesse had returned the favour. She had said she wasn't running any more – but what did that mean exactly? They had rushed away from everyone but Jesse didn't know what to do now they were alone. Suddenly, all of Jesse's insecurities and trust issues were suffocating him, twisting and manipulating the events of the evening.

But then she turned to him with the adorable grin on her face.

Jesse grabbed her face and pulled her towards him, his lips soft and demanding. She giggled blissfully – too caught up to be horrified at the fact she _giggled_ - and pressed herself against him, her palms on his chest, melting into the kiss as she let herself be happy. Jesse was her happiness and she had never been so relieved to know it. Their lips moved together lovingly, the emotion from their performances clear in the way they kissed.

Jesse's mind was racing, and not in a good way.

He pulled away suddenly, walking further into the room, flopping down into his desk chair and scrubbing his face with his hands. His brain was full of conflicting thoughts and he didn't know what to do with it all. Two sides of himself were at war and he couldn't decide what to think. She was left standing there, her back to him as she tried to piece together what just happened.

Their perfect little world was about to shatter.

"How long until you go back?" He sounded tired, drained of all energy. Turning slowly, she frowned at him, looking genuinely clueless.

"Excuse me?"

"To LA. When do you go back?" He looked at her expectantly, his face void of any other emotion, and she crossed her arms, one eyebrow raised incredulously. She thought he had understood, back at the bar; he had been so clear, so accepting. What was he doing?

" I'm not."

"I need to know how long I have to rearrange for you," he continued, not really listening to her, his head turned towards his bed as he tried to ignore his headache. "I presume you're here until just after finals but it's going to be difficult, I have Treble's practise a lot, but I could cut some shifts at Hector's –"

"Are you serious right now?" She laughed once because she didn't know how to comprehend what he was saying. Was that all this was? He thought their relationship was just a load of random meetings where they had sex and then one went home? Her gut tensed and she could feel the instinct – run while you can – but she couldn't His implied definition of their relationship was making her heart shatter.

When he turned to her, his face was perfectly serious. "Well yeah, I mean, you can't not go back. You have a life there. You're not really saying you ran away from that too?"

It was the wrong choice of words and he knew it the second her upper lip curled and she began to viciously glare at him. She was angry - beyond angry - because he was ruining their perfect reunion and she didn't understand why. How could he not see this?

"You know what; call me tomorrow when you've stopped being a dick."

And she stormed out, because despite her promise not to leave, she has no desire to talk to him when he was in that mood. Her beautiful plan had been ruined but she wouldn't let it ruin them. Maybe a few hours alone would help him come to his senses. He just needed to see what she was doing there.

Jesse saw it ten seconds later.

"Wait, Beca," he called from his bedroom door. She ignored him and carried on walking, but he wasn't giving up that easy. What did she mean she wasn't going back? Following her into the empty hallway of the Treble house, he jogged after her until he could grab her arm, spinning her round to face him.

"Don't touch me!" she shouted, yanking her arm away. Tears filled her eyes and Jesse stepped back a little in fright. "How _dare_ you?! You think I love LA more than _you_? Seriously? I quit my _job _for you! I left my _dream_ behind - _for you_! Because _you_ are my dream Jesse. You are my stupid dream and I _hate_ you for it but I can't _help_ it!" She punctuated every emphasise with her finger poking his chest, her eyes alight with anger.

But Jesse was mad too. Full of confusion and distrust, he had resorted to anger, because she was infuriating. "Oh, so you thought you could swan back into my life with a repeat of your tactics two years ago? You think I'd just _fall _at your feet and you could _have _me again?! It's been _two _years! Two years since you _bailed _on me! I had to move on because_ you_ left!"

"Damn straight I left!" Beca raged, but it was weakening. "You know how much shit happened to me that year? My friend burned to death! In her own fire! I almost died! I was in the hospital for a week being treated for second and third degree burns! My boyfriend tried to break up with me! Who wouldn't run?!"

He paused for a moment, because they were treading on ground they'd already covered, and because the topic was not exactly safe. It could blow up in both of their faces any second and neither of them wanted that.

So Jesse lowered the volume of his voice and tried to calm down. "I know we had issues, I know that we very nearly broke up, but you left me Beca! You walked away from me and never looked back. Do you know how difficult it is to trust someone after that?"

She stumbled back, dumbfounded. Her voice was barely a whisper. "You… You don't trust me?"

"Beca…" He sighed in frustration, trying not to focus on the hurt tears shining in her eyes. He needed to get it out, to say his piece. So he grabbed her hands and let it pour out. "You're not the only who doesn't trust people. You ran away from everything we had, that's bound to leave a mark. And now you're back, here, and it's confusing and it's weird and despite every vow I made to myself and my friends that I'd keep away from you… I didn't because you're Beca and I can't help myself. But what you're asking for, it's selfish, because you've made every decision and I've just been swept along with it. And I… I care about you, so much, always have, always will, but what you're asking for right now, I don't know if I'm ready for."

He wasn't quite sure how it happened, but suddenly she was kissing him, her hands roughly pulling his face towards her. Emotion poured between them, different that time - anger, sorrow, guilt, sadness. The tension of the fight poured between them as they just stopped thinking, giving into their urges, giving into each other.

They breathed heavily as they pulled away, still holding onto each other. Jesse's hands were in her hair, and Beca's clung to his shoulders, the material of his shirt bunched up in her fists. Neither dared speak, not wanting to ruin the moment, the reality of it all lingering so close by, but in that moment they could forget about it and just be Jesse and Beca, together again. Nothing to talk about, no explanations to discuss. All that mattered was that moment.

He pulled away, breathing hard, her chest heaving against him. Jesse saw the hurt in her eyes from his comment. She didn't know about his trust issues with her. How could she? It wasn't exactly something they had discussed. The fact that he didn't know how to trust her any more caught her off guard, and she was confused, so unfamiliar with being on the other end of a set of trust issues.

"We were supposed to be together Beca. We were happy. We were going to be forever." He looked at her, disappointment darkening his eyes. "Why did you have to walk away? How were you that stupid?"

It was a rhetorical question but she was on edge, so she answered it. "People make mistakes Jesse." She tried to keep her voice even, because she has to show him that she won't run again. "I made a mistake because I panicked!" And then she closed her eyes as she confessed her last secret. "You were breaking up with me before I ran into that fire. I thought…"

She couldn't continue but Jesse knew what she was going to say. "That I was only with you still out of sympathy."

"I was hoped up on painkillers, I was grieving, I was confused." She opened her eyes and saw his eyes spark with anger again. "I was protecting myself."

Jesse jumped out of her reach, glaring at her. "None of this was supposed to happen. Everything that has happened since that day is one giant mistake!"

"Well yes then!" Beca threw her hands up in the air. She was so ready for this fight, this pointless pushing, to be over and done with. He didn't trust her? Fine. The only thing she had left to stick around for was making her point. "It must be all my fault then, because you're so fucking perfect!"

"Have you seen yourself Beca? You let your parents' divorce damage yourself beyond rational thought! People get divorced Beca, get over it!" he growled.

He'd gone too far. He didn't even know why. He knew the divorce had screwed her up, knew that it had hurt her and throwing it back in her face was the complete opposite of the right thing to do. But he was angry – two years of pent up fury rushing at him full speed.

She ran at him, shoving him furiously. "You bastard! You have no right to bring that up! This is about us, not them!"

"Exactly!" Jesse grabbed her by her arms, his fingers digging in too tight. "We are not your parents Beca!"

"Jesse you're hurting me," she sobbed, eyes frantic as she tried to pry him off her. She wasn't sure if she was talking about his hands or the fact that he had just dismissed every feeling and issue over her parents' divorce so casually.

"We are so much better than them!" He shook her. The way everything about her seemed to link back to that drove him crazy, and he knew saying it was wrong, it was cruel, but she had to see that not everything was like her parents. Some things do last. "We are soul mates Beca; we are perfect together."

He didn't trust her, but he cared for her so deeply that he was willing to get over them. They could work on the trust, together, rebuild the binds between them; it would be difficult and overwhelming but he knew that they'd get through. He loved her too much not to try.

"Jesse let me go!"

He was pushing her into the wall, trapping her hands above her head. There was no escape, no way to not hear what he needed to say. He pressed himself closer, their noses brushing.

"I've never stopped loving you," he whispered. She could feel his words on her tongue, taste their sincerity. Beca went slack in his grip, her eyes searching his.

"Jesse," she tried to say angrily, but instead it came out as a simple breath. She was so mad at him, and she wanted to keep being angry because he had hurt her and he didn't get it, but she could feel it slipping away as she stood there, trapped by his body. Suddenly the anger was being replaced by something else, and she could see it too in his eyes as they dilated.

Her eyes flickered to his lips and back to his eyes.

_Oh fuck it._

She closed the tiny gap between them, leaning up to catch his lips in a kiss filled with furious passion. He used his grip on her wrists to push her flush against him, letting her go so she could fling her arms around his neck. Once again it was a completely different kiss because they were desperate. They needed each other. They could go round and round in circles about this thing that happened and that thing that happened, but it would tear them apart. Neither Jesse nor Beca wanted that.

They broke apart panting, and she took the opportunity to flip him against the wall, but he wasn't having any of that. He twisted and suddenly her back was once again meeting cold wall, making her gasp, dizzy, and lean back a little for just a second. Pulling him back to her, she ran her fingers through his hair, moaning as his fingers dug into her thighs. He nibbled her lip and she allowed him entrance, their tongues meeting in a battle for control.

The need for air too strong, Beca pulled away. She tried to breathe but Jesse's lips latched onto her neck; sucking at the place he remembered drove her crazy. She moaned again and ground her hips into him, her hands falling to his shirt buttons. They shook with the sensation of Jesse kissing down her collarbone. Frustrated, she yanked, ripping his shirt open and sending buttons flying everywhere. She felt his smirk on her shoulder but she was too caught up to care. Her nails raked down his chest and he growled at her, pulling her face back to him as his fingers danced over her body.

"Jesse," she gasped between kisses. "Oh... Oh god..."

He pulled back to wink at her. "Jesse will do just fine."

She took the opportunity and grabbed his face before he could do anything else to make her forget, trying to convey how serious she was through her eyes. He breathed heavily, looking at her expectantly, impatiently.

"I love you," she whispered. "I never stopped loving you too. You need to know that I always will. Forever."

His jaw became heavy in her hands and he stopped breathing. He could see it, everything there plain as day on her face. _I've been such a jerk_, he realized.

"When you left LA, I missed you," she continued, her thumb stroking his cheek bone. "So much. And I just knew then, I knew none of that life was worth it. I needed you back. Our time in LA wasn't just a way to get you out of my system; it was real. It was all I wanted. It took _you _leaving _me _to see how much I still loved you." She smiled, still catching her breath. He gaped, trying to find words, but her smile fell and he let her continue. "Then I dreamt of you. Burning." She felt her knees begin to shake at just the memory and he gripped her tighter on instinct. He couldn't tear himself away from her confession. "Fire has been my biggest fear for two years but…"

The thought of Jesse burning was far scarier than the thought of her burning. It made her choke with fear every time she remembered it. But saying that was too difficult, so instead she opted with something else.

" I'm not going back to LA. I'm not going anywhere without you. I know that I don't deserve you but I'm too selfish to care any more you're stuck with me. So you're just going to have to accept that and either love me back or make me a stalker."

Jesse's breath caught in his throat and his eyes searched her face, looking for something. She smiled at him, nodding to show him she was serious. Jesse could see the effort it was taking her to talk so openly, could see how opposed she was to the vulnerability she was feeling. So, because he knew her, because he loved her, he made a joke to make her smile.

" I've always wanted a stalker." He laughed lightly and she tried really hard to stop the smile because she wanted it to be serious. But she failed; it broke out across her face and she could feel it coming, knew what he was going to say.

"You're impossible, Bec. Completely infuriating and maddening and ridiculous. How the hell did you make me fall in love with you so hard?"

Beca was sure it was all some weird perfect dream.

"It's the ear spike."

Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her in for a hug, gripping her tightly as he let himself forgive her. He felt her relax, nuzzling into his bare chest, and there's something in the simple action that tells him his trust issues were unjustified. Beca really wasn't going anywhere. She really was going to stay this time.

His guilt over all he had said in their fight consumed him. "Bec, everything I said, I'm sorry. I was confused and mad and-"

She pressed a kiss against his neck to silence him and hummed contently. "I don't care about the fight. Let's just forget it, yeah? We were just pushing each other's buttons, testing the waters. Let's not focus on that any more."

_My god do I love this woman._

"Before, you said you didn't deserve me," he breathed in her hair. "You're wrong."

"If you say you don't deserve me I will beat you with my shoe." Pulling back so she could see his face, she laughed but she was only half joking. She kissed him tenderly and rested her forehead against his.

"It makes me so sad to see how little you think of yourself."

"It makes me so sad to see how many clothes we still have on." She moved to kiss him again but he held her back; he evidently still had a point to make.

"You're incredible Beca, I wish you'd see that."

She shrugged, closing her eyes thoughtfully.

"You make me better," she simply said. "Without you..."

"I'm nothing," he finished. Understanding swam between them, and they both smiled at the tender moment.

"If this was a movie, there'd be a really epic song playing over this." He winked at her. She slapped him but laughed. "I'm serious! I can hear it right now."

"Sing it to me." She smiled, pulling back slightly so she could see his face. He began to hum, a pretty little tune forming in the space between them. She laughed again. "You're such a weirdo."

His tune morphed into the Jaws theme tune and she hit him playfully again, laughter spilling from her lips. He wrapped his arms around her ribs and pulled her close, kissing her shoulder affectionately.

"I love you," she mumbled as she nuzzled into his neck, breathing him in happily.

"I love you." He kissed a path up her neck and ended on her lips, humming his made up tune again. It tickled and she pinched him, taking advantage of his gasp and kissing him deeply.

"Now for god's sake," she whined, "can we _please_ have sex?"

Jesse lifted her gladly and carried her back to his room, laughing, happy to finally have his future back in his arms again.

* * *

**Was it good? Did I do it justice? I'm so paranoid over this chapter! Please do let me know if there's anything at all I still need to do (I know there's some bits about what Beca will do now etc to include, which is the reason I'm writing another chapter) and what you thought, and I will do my best to reply to everything.**

**As a side note, I have a story I'm working on at the moment that's going to be like, even longer than this one, so if you guys want to read it then do the follow author thing... I'm really excited over it so I hope you'll all enjoy! It's an AU, and I'm really looking forward to working on it, so if you're interested I'll put more info in the next post.**

**Going to go cry now because this story is ending so bye guys!**


	17. Loving Me Beautifully

**This chapter was so hard to write, and I'm really sorry to you all for it being so late. I hope you can forgive me when you learn that this chapter is the biggest pile of vomit-inducing fluff I have ever written. Which goes against my style of writing because I like the issues not the reconciliation. But I love you guys so much that I did it anyway!**

**Just to note that there is a song in this chapter and that I insist you play the following video as you read that section. It's the exact tone and style I wanted the song to be manipulated into, and it will add to the feel of the moment. So on the end of the usual Youtube address, add /watch?v=gOPdIqIJrH4 and just let it haunt you forever.**

**Thank you guys for all your support, you have no idea just how much this all means to me, seeing my (now over 200, which is making me tearful) huge stack of reviews, all the favourites and the follows... There are not enough words to describe to you how it makes me feel. So just a big thank you hug for all of you :)**

* * *

**17 – KILLING ME SOFTLY, LOVING ME BEAUTIFULLY **

"Jesse, you're going to be late!"

He grumbled under his breath and fidgeted with the waist band of his smart trousers, unsure why he was so antsy. He had been looking forward to this monumental day his entire life, had dreamed of it and how incredible it was going to be. The amount of films he had watched, the scenes he had analysed in the most minute detail, the glorious soundtracks that he had memorised every note of – it was all for that day, the day he was stood in front of his mirror fiddling with his black tie.

The day the nerves weren't supposed to be making him want to be violently, Aubrey-esque sick.

"No son of mine will turn up late to his- Oh!" The squeak made him turn as his mother stood frozen in his doorway, her eyes shining with tears as she took in her son, all grown up in his incredible suit. "Oh Jesse," she whispered emotionally.

"Mom don't cry, come on," he tried to reason, approaching her and pulling her into a hug. Lisa clung to him, closing her eyes to imagine him as the young boy he once was, tucked perfectly into her arms as she had rocked him to sleep. How had he grown so fast?

But there was the difference between parent and child, she supposed. A child's life goes so quickly to anyone else but themselves. For the child, for her Jesse, time has dragged, and she could see it, could feel it in his hug, that he was raring to go. He was ready to be an adult and have his own family and follow all of his dreams. Lisa had to let him go. He didn't need her anymore.

"Jesse?" Donald popped his head around the door, hesitating over what to do when he saw the embrace. Jesse let go of Lisa partly, keeping an arm around her as she snivelled. Jesse grinned at his friend who was nodding at him.

"Hey Mr Bond," Donald said with a cheeky grin. "You ready to get this show on the road?"

Jesse took a deep breath to steady himself and nodded. "Let's do this!"

* * *

The hall was packed full of people, all filed into their rows and chatting away happily.

As the music began, Jesse turned to look down the aisle anxiously, just in time to see Beca stepping through the doors. She spotted him straight away and grimaced as he raised a judging eyebrow at her. Beca waved awkwardly and couldn't help letting her eyes trail over.

_How is it possible to look still look that hot in a mortar board?_ she wondered as she tiptoed around the back to find her seat next to Jim. _Weren't they designed to make everyone who wore them look ugly?_

Beca grinned breathlessly at Jesse's father as she finally found her place and sat down. She smiled politely at Lisa, who only returned the gesture because Jesse had warned her about being unwelcoming to Beca now she was back in their lives. Yes, the older lady had warmed to her, but Beca knew she was still deemed an unsatisfactory choice of girlfriend for her son.

Beca shrugged it off, instead focussing her attention on the stage - or mostly just the back of Jesse's head – not really listening to the announcer until she heard a familiar name.

"…Lily Onakurama died tragically two years ago and is still very much missed by all the staff and students. Her late mother asked current Barden Bella's captains Cynthia Rose and" – he paused, looking at his notes warily – "Fat Amy if the group would perform Lily's favourite song at today's graduation in her memory."

A loud cheering rippled through the crowd and the original Bella's took to the stage, their scarf's tied around their necks like they had their first year. Their gowns billowed and they linked arms with sad smiles, Denise already having to wipe a tear away. Cynthia Rose took the microphone from the announcer and waited until the crowd calmed before coughing nervously.

"Before we begin, we'd like to request the Bella who thinks she can get out of this by dropping out of college come join us."

Hundreds of pairs of eyes turned to Beca, who sat shell-shocked in her seat. "Dude, no!"

"Beca Mitchell, if anyone should be up here taking the lead on this song, it should be you," Stacie said seriously, her usual bubbliness gone in favour of a more demure approach. "Your sacrifice for her was inspiring and heart-breaking. And right now, we can't do this without you. Please?"

Beca prayed the ground would swallow her whole, but instead, Chloe and Aubrey suddenly appeared at her side, Chloe holding her hand out towards her with slightly threatening eyes.

"You're going up there no matter what, so you either get dragged kicking and screaming or you walk politely and let us honour our friend's memory properly."

Beca glanced around the waiting eyes of the audience, finally settling on Jesse's, who smiled at her with so much love that she felt herself melt. He nodded in encouragement, and she took a deep breath, taking Chloe's hand and beginning the walk to the front as the audience clapped wildly again.

Hugging each of the Bella's, she smiled sweetly but murmured through her teeth, "I will never forgive you guys for this." Accepting the microphone, she closed her eyes to block out the faces of the graduating class, instead letting herself imagine the only one in the room was Lily, her hair in braids down each shoulder, her lips twitching as she watched her friends begin to sing the backing vocals.

_"There was a time  
__I used to look into my father's eyes.  
In a happy home  
I was a king, I had a golden throne."_

In Beca's mind, Lily smiled at her shyly, giving her a thumbs up. Beca raised a hand, wishing she could touch the image in her head.

_"Those days are gone, now the memories are on the wall.  
__I hear the songs from the places where I was born._

_Upon the hill across the blue lake,  
__That's where I had my first heartbreak.  
I still remember how it all changed.  
My father said,  
'Don't you worry, don't you worry, child.  
See heaven's got a plan for you.  
Don't you worry, don't you worry now.'  
Yeah!"_

The song stared downbeat, morphing into something so beautiful it took Beca's breath away. It was meaningful and soulful, taking on a life of its own. Beca felt a tear slip down her cheek and a hand lace into hers, and she relaxed, smiling at Lily as she nodded to the slow beat.

_"'Don't you worry, don't you worry, child.  
__See heaven's got a plan for you.  
Don't you worry, don't you worry now.'  
Yeah!"_

The bassnotes began to morph and, unable to ignore the strange sound, Beca opened her eyes to once again see the crowd, but this time with a difference. Every Treble present in the room had raised to their feet, accompanying the vocals. Benji grinned at her as he hummed, pulling a lily out from under his robe and walking towards her from the front row to hand it to her. She felt her throat close up at the sight of it and she clutched the hand in hers tighter, turning to Jesse as tears spilled down her face. He let go of her hand and pulled her against his side, singing the next part for her while she gathered her strength.

_"There was a time,  
__I met a girl of a different kind.  
We ruled the world,  
I thought I'd never lose her out of sight.  
We were so young, I think of her now and then.  
I still hear the songs reminding me of a friend."_

She joined in, settling her eyes on Jesse and not on the overwhelming swell of vocal support for her lost friend. The stalk of the lily twisted lazily in her fingers.

_"Upon the hill across the blue lake,  
__That's where I had my first heartbreak.  
I still remember how it all changed."_

And then all the Bella's began to sing as the Treble's held the backing tune.

_"My father said,  
__'Don't you worry, don't you worry, child.  
See heaven's got a plan for you.  
Don't you worry, don't you worry now.'  
Yeah!_

_Oh, oh, oh!  
__Oh, oh, oh!_

_'Don't you worry, don't you worry, child.  
__See heaven's got a plan for you.  
Don't you worry, don't you worry now.'  
Yeah!_

As the song ended and the crowd went crazy, Beca didn't pay a speck of attention. Instead, she closed her eyes and let herself see Lily, clapping and smiling at her and then, to Beca's surprise, mouthing three words before she walked into a faceless pair of arms and faded from sight:

Let me go.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, after everything had been settled back into the usual graduation format again, Beca was sitting quietly beside Jim (and Lisa, one person over, who kept smiling at her like she hadn't ever tried to push her out of her son's life). Benji's present, the lily, was still held gently between her fingertips, and she stroked the petals with a soft touch, as if one wrong move and she'd destroy it. She was anxious, nervous for the people in front of her, scared for herself. Holding the lily helped her relax.

The names were being called and Beca sat more to attention, taking her cue to cheer loudly as Benjie walked across, accepting his diploma. He bowed proudly and the girls in the audience went wild, much to Beca's surprise (she knew he had become somewhat of a girl magnet since he had been accepted into the Treble's three years ago, but it was still a shock whenever she saw the girls fawning over him).

She found herself getting more and more emotional as her original Bella's each took their turns, all grinning wildly (and Amy being, well, Amy as she shimmied her chest and roared with victory). She was so proud of them, so happy for how those strange misfits from that first year and blossomed into a force to be reckoned with, had become such beautiful people and the most amazing, loyal friends. They meant so much to her, and she wondered how she went that year without them.

Jesse, on the other hand, wasn't focussing. He knew he should be, knew this was his moment, but all he could think about was Beca. She had spent their last year back together working with local artists to help get their careers going, running the music for parties and clubs in the evenings and in her spare time. She had been determined to make it without being away from him, and so they had had an amazing year rediscovering each other. Beca seemed to have been doing well enough to get by, but then she got a call from an artist she'd worked with who had scored a recording contract and she wanted Beca on the team. With Jesse's encouragement, she had flown to New York to start work on the project. It had been two weeks since he had seen her, two weeks since he had held her properly, two weeks of torture, and that short burst of her, that tiny shining moment on stage, hadn't been enough. He didn't care that he was graduating. He couldn't concentrate on the fact that all of his friends were graduating. He didn't care that this ceremony marked the end of his life at Barden, the place that turned his world upside down three times in four years.

He just wanted Beca.

So when his name was finally called (he cursed his father for having a last name so low in the alphabet) he practically ran onto the stage, so eager to get this part over with that he almost forgot to take the diploma, as his father whistled and his mother screamed her congratulations through her sobs. And as he grinned out to the crowd, he almost choked as he spotted Beca, looking him very seriously in the eye with a sign high above her head that read:

_It's inevitable._

* * *

**If I could, I would leave this story exactly this way.**

**However, I am in the works of doing a big flashback chapter that combines everything you've already had and then extends some of them or adds in new ones. This chapter is actually why it's taken so long to update this, because I'm trying to get it all chronological and it's becoming very difficult. So forgive me, but I will try to upload that soon. I am going to change this story to complete though, I think. It's time.**

**I won't get sappy again, just know I love you. I'd love to hear from you all so please review, let me know what you thought, and I'll do my best to reply to everyone!**


	18. Happy Ever After

**So I finally got this written! I hope you all like it. It's a combination of all the flashbacks to make the Lily thing a little easier to follow, but there's some extended bits and one or two brand new scenes. If you don't want to read it all again, skip the second to last part! What happens after graduation is included there but BE CAREFUL because if you go too far too quickly you will ruin it. I have put three seperating thingys (the grey lines, I don't know what they're called) so you know where it begins.**

**This is my final thank you to everyone who read, followed, favourited and reviewed this story. You are all truly amazing, and being able to talk to some of you (I'm looking mainly at you Jael House Rock and Hannah!)has been just incredible. I'm sad to finally see this story end but am glad for all the support I got in the process of writing it. Thank you all, I love you guys! :)**

* * *

**18 – HAPPILY EVER AFTER**

"Jesse Swanson! What the hell is this?!"

Freshman year in the studio, a week after her arrest. They had been working separately, their friendship still rocky after the happenings outside the police station. Okay so not rocky; they hadn't spoken at all. Until, it seemed, that moment, when Beca went to put back an album and found, attached to Creed's My Own Prison, a pair of pink fluffy handcuffs.

Beca looked up at the balcony that Jesse was leaning over casually, holding the handcuffs gingerly between her finger and thumb. He was grinning at her while she glared at him. She was suppressing a smile though and she knew he knew it.

"Those are so next time you want to get handcuffed you'll be more comfortable." He said it so seriously that Beca had to take a second to collect herself. It felt like forever since they had interacted and it seemed her tolerance level had been significantly weakened.

"You think this is funny?" She held them up and raised her eyebrows. Their eyes were locked in a battle, his mouth twisted into a smirk and hers perfectly serious. The neon pink cuffs were dangling from her finger, her other hand on her hip (Jesse would later tell her how attractive she had been in that moment, standing there with a sexy attitude).

And then she snorted and began to laugh. Because she couldn't believe he had gone out and bought handcuffs just to break the tension. Because he had so obviously wanted them to be friends again that he's given in when she, honestly, should be the one to apologise. But mostly because she had missed him, no matter how much she had tried to not get attached.

He joined in, her laughter infectious. He lent further over the railings, his eyes shining at her, and she settled into a smile. Beca was glad they were able to talk again; the station had become weirdly awkward and lonely without their usual banter.

He winked at her slyly. "Who knows, maybe you'll find an ulterior use for them."

She rolled her eyes and he went to turn back to his work, but she stopped him. "Hey, Jesse?"

He spun around and nodded. "Yeah?"

"I uh, I'm sorry. About regionals. I shouldn't have shouted at you like that, you were just trying to help me." She looked up at him and saw his face had softened. "Thank you," she added. "You didn't have to stick around for me, but you did and I appreciate it."

Jesse smiled softly at her and she felt a flutter in her stomach. "You don't need to say thank you. And I'm sorry Beca, really. I didn't know about your daddy issues but I know now - next time you get arrested for being my knight in shining armour, do not call the father!"

She glared at him but it was ruined by her smile. "Be careful mister, or you'll find yourself handcuffed to the school statue in just your underwear." She shook the offending present at him.

Unfazed by her threat, he lent over the bannister and winked at her, saying quietly, "As long as it's you that undresses me, I'm game."

She clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth, refusing to show him how his comment had sent a thrill up her spine. "I don't know, I think I remember Amy saying something about being happy to do me a favour after her running off. Maybe I'll just have to set her on you."

She didn't miss the way he swallowed nervously at her empty threat, and she smirked at him. It was good to be back to normal.

* * *

"Jesse, seriously, this could not get any more corny." Beca scoffed and popped a grape in her mouth, smirking as he held his hand out to her. It was their third date and he had taken her for a picnic at the beach, the sun set casting a glow on Jesse's face. They had eaten all the picking food Jesse has been able to find, their blanket now scattered with dirty paper plates and used napkins.

"Beca, if you deny me the opportunity for a perfect movie moment, I might just have to do something drastic." He gestured her to him with his fingers but she stayed stubbornly on the blanket, her arms and legs crossed.

"Like what?" she challenged with a grin.

"Like…" He made a show of his face falling into an evil snare. "Throw you in the ocean."

Beca had every intention of going to him, but she found his desperation amusing. The sun was so close to being gone and she didn't want to ruin his apparent dream, so she rolled her eyes dramatically and huffed as she let him pull her up.

"This isn't going to work you know," she said matter of factly. He ignored her and wrapped an arm around her waist, keeping tight hold of her hand close to his chest. His thumb was stroking circles on her lower back and it was distracting her, so the end of her sentence came out breathy. "There's no music."

He winked at her and pulled her even closer, beginning to sway gently. Her hand, acting on its own, traced up his arm and held onto his bicep, her fingertips digging into his muscles. Nothing could hide the smile on her face, could stop her from swaying with him. Beca let him lead and felt herself relax into his arms as they swayed to a beat playing only in Jesse's mind.

"_When I look into your eyes, it's like watching the night sky, or a beautiful sunrise,_" he sung under his breath, staring into her eyes and smiling at the blush that graced her cheeks. "_There's so much they hold and just like them old stars, I see that you've come so far to be right where you are. How old is your soul?_"

"You're a weirdo," she said, laughing, wrapping her arms around his neck. She couldn't stop smiling and she knew she should hate the effect he was having on her, but she couldn't help it. He made her feel free and loved and special.

"_I won't give up on us, even if the skies get rough, I'm giving you all my love, I'm still looking up._" Jesse rested his forehead against hers. "_And when you're needing your space, to do some navigating, I'll be here patiently waiting, to see what you find._"

"_'Cause even the stars they burn_," she found herself joining in, and he stopped singing to let her carry on. "_Some even fall to the earth, we've got a lot to learn, God knows we're worth it, no, I won't give up._"

"You're pretty good," he said with fake surprise. "I mean, I'm obviously better but-" She smacked him playfully and then rested her cheek on his chest.

"_I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily, I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make,_" Beca sang softly, feeling his arms tighten around her. "_Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use, the tools and gifts we got, yeah, we got a lot at stake. And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend, for us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn, we had to learn how to bend without the world caving in, I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not, and who I am._"

"_I won't give up on us, even if the skies get rough,_" they sung together; him into her hair, her into his shirt. "_I'm giving you all my love, I'm still looking up, still looking up._"

And as they sang, Beca knew she meant every word. She wasn't just smitten with the guy – she was a goner, he had her hook line and sinker and somehow, despite everything that should tell her otherwise, she knew she had found her guy. She would never love another, never be with another, and even though it would get difficult at times, she would never leave. Because Jesse was it for her. She wouldn't give up on him.

* * *

"Beca this is completely ridiculous, it can only end in some form of pain," Jesse tried to say seriously but his amusement leaked through. He grabbed onto her hand, letting her pull him up through the window. Jesse had been living in the Treble house for 8 days – which Beca had slept in for the past 6 – and had very reluctantly let his girlfriend of 4 months plan a surprise for him. Which, to her delight and his increasing certainty of death, involved climbing out of a window and having a midnight picnic on the roof.

"Would you relax? The people in your movies do this all the time, you should be loving this."

Beca dropped the canvas bag full of their food at her feet, awkwardly arranging herself so that she was sitting down with her arms supporting her weight. She looked up at him, grinning at the adorable little wrinkle of worry forming between his eyebrows.

"This is why you don't get to pick what we do." But Jesse sat down beside her anyway, lying back with his arm behind his head. She lay down beside him and they both looked up at the stars above them. It was a cloudless night and they twinkled prettily in the warm air.

"You know, I'm kind of an expert on stars." His tone was casual, his eyes focussed on the sky.

"Oh are you now?" Beca said in amused surprise.

"Totally. See that one there?" He pointed up to a cluster of stars and Beca nodded. "That's Orion's Belt. Fun fact; it doesn't actually look anything like a belt."

"Yeah I can see that." Beca bit her lip but let him continue.

"And that one, that's Throwback, the only ogre to ever spit over three wheat fields."

Beca scoffed. "Right, of course."

"And look, there's Blood-nut the Flatulant!" Jesse pointed up again, his tone perfectly serious. "You can guess what he's famous for."

"Now I know you're making this up…" Beca muttered dryly despite finding him very entertaining. Not that she'd ever tell him that.

Jesse couldn't believe how perfect her comeback had been.

"N,o look, there he is," Jesse traced a path between the stars and then pointed to another cluster, "and there's the group of hunters running away from his stench."

Beca elbowed him in the ribs. "I cannot believe you are quoting Shrek at me."

He turned his head and met her eyes, his amusement making his eyes shine just like the stars. "I find it so hot that you know that."

Beca grabbed the bag of food and shoved it at him as he laughed at her. "Just eat the cheese and shut up."

"No donkey, that's the moon."

"Call me donkey again and I will push you off this roof myself."

* * *

Her birthday in that second year at Barden had been different to the rest. In her past years she had no one to celebrate with so often her day passed like most others. She didn't mind, she didn't think they were that big a deal. It was the anniversary of your birth, nothing more; there was no real significance other than you were legally deemed an older number.

But that birthday had been different, because the Bella's had organised a giant surprise birthday party for her at the Treble's house. The house was full of people, dancing and drinking and having a good time. The music thumped in Beca's chest, echoing dull and warped around Jesse's bedroom as she stood with her back to the door, watching him in amusement. He was fumbling around in drawers, having drunk a fair amount after getting forced into doing a keg stand. She was a little worse for wear herself, which is why she made no attempt at hiding how badly she was checking him out when he leaned over and she could see that strip of the elastic band around his underwear peeking out – her favourite of course.

"You know that you don't need to check me out, you've already seen me naked," he called over his shoulder.

"Exactly."

He didn't miss her wicked grin as he finally straightened a red box in his hand that he held up triumphantly. But before she could react, she watched how his eyes dilated a little more. Beca winced; that only meant one thing, it meant Jesse was going to make a big deal out of a small thing because it would apply to a movie plot.

Sweeping her up in his arms, he lifted her off the ground as he attacked her mouth with his own. She gripped his shoulders, passion bursting out of their kiss, his touch like wildfire. It was incredible and beautiful and Beca never wanted it to end.

"Happy birthday Bec," he murmured against her lips as he set her gently to the ground, a corner of the box digging into her back.

"If it carries on like that it'll be the best birthday ever."

Jesse chuckled as he pulled away slightly, just enough to be able to hand her the box. It was tied with a white ribbon and was a square medium jewellery box. She stroked the top of it, unsure whether to open it. Out of anything she had expected from Jesse, this had not been it. She wasn't really a jewellery kind of girl and he knew it.

"It won't bite I promise." Jesse tugged lightly at one of the ribbon ends and Beca slapped his hand away. She instead pulled the ribbon free and allowed it to fall, landing partly inside the neck of her dress so it hung there. Casting one more nervous glance up to Jesse's expectant face, Beca pulled the box open.

Inside were a pair of simple diamond earrings, sparkling even in the dim lighting. Gasping, Beca almost lost her grip on the box. They were perfect.

"Jesse, they're… This must have cost a fortune!" Beca breathed around the lump of shock constricting her throat. Tears pricked her eyes and she placed a hand on his chest to steady herself.

"They're worth it." Jesse shrugged it off casually, his gaze still on her as she admired her present from all angles. "You going to put them on or what?"

Within seconds her old silver studs were out, and she was replacing them with her new ones. Jesse grinned as she gushed about how perfect they were. They looked beautiful on her and he knew she felt it. Pulling back her hands, she proudly displayed both her ears to him. They really were incredible.

He kissed her softly and smiled at her in a way that took her breath away. "You look good wearing my future."

* * *

"Not until the fat lady sings," he breathed as his right foot twitched. He was lying on his stomach, as was the way he always slept, sprawled out across her bed in what looked to be a very uncomfortable position. The bass of her mix vibrated in her chest from her headphones as they rested on her collarbone. But all she could focus on was how adorable he looked. Jesse's face was turned towards her and she couldn't help but smirk at his nose crinkling.

She watched him dream about Independence Day, mumbling about aliens and the president and 'getting home to Beca'. She felt herself melt a little bit; he was dreaming about her? She'd heard him muttering in his sleeping about her before but it never failed to thrill her. Not that she'd ever admit it, but she found the fact he was dreaming about saving the world and coming home to her the most incredible thing she'd ever experienced.

She knelt beside her bed and leaned close, watching his eyes flicker under his eyelids. A grin broke out on her face and she stroked a finger down his cheek. This should be weird to her, the romance and the gushy feelings, but she found it didn't matter. She couldn't help it; she loved him too much to care how cheesy she had become.

Not that he knew how she really felt yet. At least, she hadn't said the words out loud to him; it scared her and even though it should be easy because she knew how she felt, somehow, translating the feeling into three words was a bit too much for her.

She gave him a soft kiss at the perfect moment, just as he began mumbling about 'seeing her beautiful face again'. He smiled lazily and kissed her back gently, reaching out towards her, his hand caressing her upper arm.

"I love you," he muttered as he tried to pull her closer. Beca felt every muscle in her body tense. His eyes were still closed but he frowned as he was met with resistance. "Come on, we gotta go see the President."

She rolled her eyes but let him pull her closer as he rolled to his side to face her. She rested her outer leg over his and rested her hand on his neck, stroking his jaw with her thumb.

"I love you too," she whispered, settling against his shoulder and closing her eyes. Surprised how easy it had been to say, she grinned and knew exactly what she was going to say when he eventually woke up. "I love you too."

She stirred two hours later, snuggling further into the giant pillow that surrounded her. She was warm and cosy, perfectly at peace. Beautiful music was being whispered into her skin and she groaned quietly, stretching her ankles and curling her toes. The humming faltered around a chuckle, and then it continued, her pillow caressing the skin under her ribs.

"Jesse," she whispered sleepily. "What are you doing?"

He just chuckled again against her neck and pressed a gentle kiss there. She turned her head awkwardly and looked at him, smiling at his gleaming eyes. She cupped his cheek with her hand, and felt his breathing hitch against her back. He grinned back at her, kissing her gently.

"You're always at your cutest when you've just woken up," he murmured against her lips, and she laughed because she was long past being able to pretend to be insulted in some way.

But then her face fell into a more serious expression and she stroked his cheekbone with her thumb. "You know I love you, right?"

She expected shock. Surprise. Elation. She expected something big and overwhelming and typically Jesse-ish. But instead, his eyes remained clear and he just smiled and nodded.

"I know." He brushed her nose against hers. And she could see it; he _did _know, maybe even longer than she had known, but he knew and even though she hadn't said it, he had been so sure. Her words were no big deal because that's all they were; words. The feeling was what mattered, and he was always aware of how she felt.

Beca kissed him hard, letting him feel her love, trying to show him how much she felt for him because he may have known she loved him, but he didn't know just how much.

"I love you," he whispered against her lips. She kissed him again and he kept saying it. "I love you. I love you. I love you."

She grumbled and pulled away to see him better. "I love you too weirdo, but if you don't take your pants off right now I'm going to have to take it back."

* * *

Beca hadn't known how important that day was when she woke up two months later. How could she? When she climbed begrudgingly out of bed and opened the door for her boyfriend who was wringing his hands anxiously and had a very serious frown developing across his forehead, Beca had glared at him. Because how was she supposed to know this was an important day?

"Jesse, what have I told you about waking me up early at the weekend?"

He glanced at his watch and looked up in surprise. "Bec it's gone midday."

"Oh!" she said in surprise. She opened her door further to let him in and she started to settle back under her duvet, fully expecting him to join her for their usual cuddling that she insisted she hated.

"You haven't been answering your phone." Jesse just stood there in the middle of her room, her eyes focussing on her record stacks instead of her. Something was off. Jesse always looked at her; she had joked that his gaze was surgically altered to only be attached to her.

"I've been sleeping…" Beca sat up, leaning back on her hands, trying to decipher what was going on.

"You should check it."

Unsure what was going, Beca reached behind her for it, her eyes never leaving Jesse's unusually unhappy face. He finally glanced at her, watching her hold it but not turn it on. She was confused; she wanted answers.

"What's going on?" Beca narrowed her eyes are him. "What aren't you telling me?"

Sighing into submission, Jesse sat on the edge of her bed, taking her free hand in both of his. His eyes were sad, gentle, sympathetic. She had never seen him this way and it scared her.

"The Bella's need you," he began, and he watched her sit up a little straighter. She had become very protective over her harmonising group of friends; a threat against any one of them was a threat to them all.

"Is Amy missing again?" Beca tried to joke. "Because there was a swimming competition last night. She's probably just at their hotel."

But Jesse was shaking his head and he was so serious, so subdued, that Beca found herself beginning to panic, pulling her hand away to turn on her phone and find out what Jesse seemed very reluctant to break to her.

He stood up, ready to do whatever she needed, ready to take whatever she threw at him. Figuratively or literally. This was unchartered ground for them; he didn't know her reactions for this kind of thing yet.

She listened to her full up voicemail, her eyes scanning Jesse's weary face. He watched her face grow pained, watched her eyes grow round and her free hand clenching tightly into a fist. After a few minutes she dropped the phone to her duvet. She threw herself out of the bed and Jesse braced himself, but she just flew past, her pyjama top already off, rooting through her wardrobe for anything she could find to wear.

He didn't speak. He let her have her time to think as she changed. She appreciated it, and showed him by threading her fingers with his when she was dressed, pulling him out of her room and towards Lily's dorm.

"How long has she known?" Her grip was tight and Jesse trailed two steps behind, rushing to keep up with his girlfriends determined pace.

"A few hours I think. Stacie said she got the call pretty early. Denise heard her smash something through their joint wall and she called Cynthia Rose, which started the chain. Stacie called me when you didn't answer."

He saw the back of her head nod and jogged so he was beside her, pulling her to stop to look at her. Beca was in full blown mother-hen mode and she resisted, baffled at why he had stopped her. He just pulled her closer, wrapping his other arm around her, kissing her hair.

"Just take a moment to calm. You cannot storm in there like this. Lily needs a friend, not an army general."

She breathed in deeply, letting his scent calm her frayed nerves. She was anxious to go already, but she knew he was right; he was always right.

"Thank you," she whispered, leaning up to kiss him quickly. They walked together at a more relaxed pace, gearing up for what was about to greet them. Knowing Lily, the scene on the other side of her door could be pretty much anything imaginable.

So when Beca flung open the door and was met with the sight there, she was surprised. The Bella's were spread out around the room, sitting on the floor or the chair or the spare bed, all apart from Cynthia Rose. She sat on her friend's bed, stroking Lily's hair as she slept fitfully against Cynthia's thigh.

"Beca!" Stacie clamoured up from her spot on the floor, keeping her voice quiet as she rushed towards her. "Thank God you're here." She glanced at Jesse and smiled at him in appreciation as the couple walked further into the room and Jesse shut the door.

"Shit guys I'm so sorry." Beca let go of Jesse's hand and stepped quietly towards her friend.

"How is she?" Jesse whispered, taking in the rumbled clothes and the tear-stained cheeks.

"She won't talk to us, she just broke a few things and cried a lot." Denise gestured to the oddly shaped towel that held all the broken shards of glass. Jessica was snivelling and Jesse wrapped an arm around her shoulders supportively.

"What was the diagnosis?" Beca asked, crouching by Lily's head and frowning sadly.

"Stage 4 melanoma." Cynthia let out a breath and leaned her head against the wall behind her. "Her mom is screwed."

Beca straightened up and walked to Jesse's side, leaning against him wearily. His hand snaked around her waist and he kissed her forehead. She had no idea what any of them were going to do.

"This is going to destroy her," Beca said unhappily.

"We need a plan of action." Jesse sounded determined, trying to make up for everyone's loss of spirit. "We can get her through this if we really try."

Beca couldn't help but smile at how he seemed to include himself as being a part of this 'we', as being a Bella. She put a hand on his stomach as a silent thank you for being so incredible and he squeezed her hip slightly. How did she get so lucky?

* * *

"I'm here, I'm here, I'm sorry." Stacie gasped for breath as she completed the tight circle huddled in the hallway outside Lily's room. They were all there, anxious expressions clear. Cynthia's eyes kept darting back to the door, and they all understood. No one liked a fellow Bella being so sad – one Bella's pain was every Bella's pain.

You're late!" Amy hissed.

"It doesn't matter, she's here now," Jessica said, smiling half-heartedly at Stacie who shot her a grateful look.

"Who's with Lily?" Stacie asked as she saw everyone there.

"Newbies," Amy answered simply in reference to the two freshman who had joined their ranks at the beginning of the year.

"Lily heard back from her family," Beca began sadly, her arms crossed tight around herself. "The doctor's told them this morning there's nothing more they can do."

Every set of eyes in the group filled with tears as they realised what this meant. Lily's mother was going to die – soon – and their fragile friend was not going to take it well. It had been a month since her mother's diagnosis, and Lily had remained holed up in her room ever since. She hadn't spoken a word since, and the group were getting increasingly worried about her. They had discussed bringing in professional help, but they worried it would make her worse.

"So Plan Neighbourhood Watch is in action?" Amy asked. Beca eyed her over the name that none of them were particularly happy with, but nodded warily.

"You've all got the timetable we worked out. Lily can't be left alone, so at least one Bella has to be with her at all times, night or day. If you can't make your shift for whatever reason, you must find someone else to cover it. And with absolutely no exceptions can you bring any matches or lighters into her room. She cannot have any access to anything that can start a fire. It's too dangerous." Beca looked around at her friends one by one, making sure they all agreed before breathing a sigh of desperation. She wondered how long Lily would be a fire risk. Maybe they should have brought in some help.

"Who's on first shift?" Denise asked.

"I am." Beca nodded resolutely. "Go home, get some rest, do some work, whatever you need. It's going to be a difficult few weeks or months so use your spare time wisely."

She dismissed the Bella's with a sad smile as Jesse walked up the corridor towards her, hands in his jean pockets as he saw the hardness to her eyes. Something had happened, he could tell, and he frowned at how dishevelled she looked. He couldn't remember the last time she had slept.

"What's going on?" he queried, glancing at Lily's closed door. "She okay?"

"Yeah she's fine." Beca sounded tired, and she ran a hand through her hair.

"Okay." Jesse didn't know what else to say.

"Lily's mum is terminal. She doesn't have long left. We're on shift duty so…" She gestured to the door, avoiding his gaze. He frowned.

"Oh it's your shift? Well I don't have any more classes today so I could join –"

"Just go home Jesse. Get on with something else, I'm fine coping on my own." She was short, blocking him out, and she was combing her fingers through her hair again. Beca was tired, physically and mentally, and she wished she could go back to when things were easy and her friend's mother wasn't dying and causing her friend to go crazy.

"I just thought maybe you could use the company," he tried weakly, knowing it was no good. Her mind was set.

"I'm fine Jesse. I don't need you so would you please just go?" she snapped, and without another word, she walked into Lily's room, shutting the door behind her before he could even move to say another word.

* * *

"What do you want from me Jesse? I'm trying here but you're never satisfied!" Beca fumed, stepping back from him and hiding her shaking hands behind her back. Don't show weakness. Don't let him see your fear.

"I want you to stop thinking that this is some, some fling! I want you to take this seriously! All you've been doing for weeks is shutting me out-" Beca's phone began to ring for the third time and she glanced at her pocket. "If you answer that I swear to God-"

Beca pulled it out of her pocket and denied the call, throwing the phone at her bed. "I take us very seriously. You really think this thing means nothing to me? It means everything! But I am not perfect; I cannot do everything right all of the time."

"And don't I know it! My God Beca how do you not see that what you're doing is tearing us apart? You're shutting me out again and I cannot –"

Her phone rang again on her bed and Beca dove for it. No one rings four times without it being important. She ignored Jesse's threat and answered it, glaring at him as he threw his hands up in the air and groaned.

"Beca, something's happened. You need to get to Lily's right now! There's... There's smoke Beca," Amy said frantically. "I'm scared, please hurry."

Beca's phone fell from her hand. "I have to go," she whispered, still frozen in the spot.

"Beca, you can't leave now," Jesse said furiously. "We need to talk about this!"

"Later!" Beca raced to the door. "I'll come back later! I promise! I... Lily needs me!"

Beca raced down the corridor towards Lily's room, hearing Jesse in the distant shouting, "I need you!"

She ignored it, running out of her building and towards Lily's a few minutes walk away. Beca's hands were shaking. She was supposed to be with Lily. She had been responsible for her. And she'd been late, because Jesse just _had _to have a problem with her at the moment she had to take over from the freshman's. They must have left. Neither of them had ever got how important it was to keep a careful eye on Lily.

From a distance Beca could see the smoke too. It was faint, but Beca knew it wasn't normal. The fire alarm began as Beca entered the building, and she took the flight of stairs two at a time, her heart pounding. This wouldn't be happening if she had just _been _there.

"Amy?" Beca called, fighting against the stream of people that had begun to surface from their rooms. Her blonde called back and Beca found her, shifting from foot to foot outside the room. Smoke billowed out from the crack under the door and Beca swallowed anxiously before glancing at her friend. "Break it down."

After that, it was all a blur, a bright hot blur that made her eyes sting. She didn't understand how it had gone so powerful, so large, in a matter of moments.

All she could see were the flames. They were all consuming, unpredictable. The fire licked up the walls of the hallway – it had already engulfed the room, it was looking for bigger prey. The heat was unimaginable. Patches of her skin were melting, her clothes burning. But she couldn't move away. She couldn't run. She had to stay. She had to save her.

"Amy! Amy I-" Smoke came thick and fast and she struggled to breathe. She could feel it taking hold of her lungs. Spluttering, she tried to find her friend.

"There's, there's no water!" Amy was beside her, searching desperately for anything to stop the flames, but there was too much panic. They were running out of options fast.

"Can you see? I can't see!" Beca lifted her shirt to her mouth to stop her inhaling too much smoke, trying to see through the flames into the dorm room. She thought she could see the computer screen melting, a poster succumbing to the flames that had been creeping up it as it fell out of view. There was nothing else, just the bright light from the fire as it burned the room down.

"She must be here somewhere!"

CRACK. Beca looked around, trying to find the source of the noise. "Amy did you hear that?" The flames were converging on them and her survival instincts told her to run – get out before it was too late. But she couldn't leave. She couldn't abandon her friends.

"What was that?" Beca looked around as she heard the crack again. The wall right in front of her, the wall that was already crumbling down on her. She didn't even have time to scream.

* * *

Jesse jogged to a stop as he saw the fire escaping out of a window. It was bright and the evacuating students were staring up at it, some crying, some too stunned to keep on moving. He was surprised at how quickly it had gotten so big. A crowd was gathering on the lawn a little ways away from the growing blaze, and Jesse couldn't move his limbs. He didn't know how to process what was happening right before his eyes.

One thought made him start move again. _Beca._

He had to find her. He had to keep her safe.

"Beca? Beca!" he shouted, rushing between people, trying to look inside open rooms, down busy corridors, anywhere that she could possibly be. The flames roared just ahead, but he refused to believe... No, he couldn't even think about it. Jesse scanned the faces, desperately hoping that she was there somewhere. She was here; he just had to find her. Staff members were trying to keep the crowds calm, trying to get the students to safety. A professor grabbed his arm, trying to turn his arm, but he pulled away – he wasn't leaving without her.

"Beca!" he yelled, over and over, as the people began to thin out. The smoke was flowing along the ceiling, and he bent down, trying to stay with the fresh air for as long as possible.

"Jesse!" Turning wildly towards the call, he spotted Amy waving at him further down, right by the flames. He raced towards her, forgetting all about the danger. As he got closer he saw she was trying to move chunks of plasterboard and bricks, scrambling through the mess that surrounded her.

"Amy where's Beca?" He grabbed her wrists and she cried out in pain. He looked down and instantly saw her right wrist was badly broken.

"I can't… There's too much." Amy coughed, the smoke so heavy in her lungs.

"Amy I need you to keep calm. Beca. Where is Beca?"

Amy used her good hand to point at the rubble she had been lifting, and Jesse felt faint as he looked at it. Could someone survive that?

"We were trying to save her," Amy began to ramble as Jesse began to desperately plough through the bricks. The flames were only feet away. "There was a crack, it fell on us."

Hair. He could see hair. Jesse pushed the pieces aside and found her face, covered in blood, dirt and ash. Her eyes were closed but he could feel her pulse. Jesse let out the breath he didn't know he was holding; she was alive.

"Amy, help me move this stuff!" Jesse called frantically. She helped to shove the rubble aside, one eye anxiously on the quickly spreading fire. She kept her broken wrist cradled against her chest. Together, they managed to free Beca's body, and Jesse slid his arms under her legs and back, lifting her close to his chest.

Jesse turned his head to look at Amy, and he saw the tears drip quickly down her face. "Lily… She's in there still!"

But Jesse knew there was no time. The flames had consumed the room and an ajoining one already – Lily was already gone and they needed to get out before it was too late.

"We gotta go Amy," he called over the roar of the flames. She looked at him, torn, so Jesse grabbed her, pulling her with him by her sleeve as they rushed to the exit, Beca still unconscious in his arms.

* * *

"Where am I?"

The room was bright, too bright. Beca squeezed her eyes shut. It smelt funny, like bleach and chemicals and death. Trying again, she opened her eyes and looked around the room, taking in the plain walls, the blinded window, the table covered in pills and coffee cups. She was panicking, unsure where she was or what had happened. She tried to remember but all she could think of was a face, his face-

"Beca thank God."

That face. She turned her heavy head, letting her mind process his features, his expression, his strange blue clothing. She found his name.

"Jesse." Her throat was scratchy and raw, and her voice croaked as she spoke. "What-What's going on?"

"Everything's okay Beca." He lifted a hand, her hand, and pressed a kiss to her fingers, relief flooding his eyes with tears. "You're at the hospital but you're fine."

Beca tried to move; her panic was increasing and all she wanted was to be in his arms, to let his touch soothe her. Why wasn't he holding her? Why was she here in this bed? Why was he crying? "I don't, I don't remember."

"I know this must be scary," Jesse whispered to her, his free hand delicately cupping her jaw. "But try and stay calm. You need to keep calm." She registered a fast-paced beeping on the other side of her head. A heart-rate monitor. Taking some deep breaths, she heard the beeping begin to slow.

Jesse grabbed a cup from beside him, holding the straw to her lips. She eagerly drank the water, hoping to soothe her throat.

"What happened?"

The boy beside her looked away as he put the plastic cup back, but when he turned back to her his eyes still avoided her, instead focussing on their re-joined hands.

"There was a fire." He hesitated. "You were trying to-"

"No," she croaked without really knowing why. The flames were in front of her eyes, taking over her vision. Fear twisted and clamped down on her sore chest; she wanted him to stop. She suddenly didn't want to know at all.

"You couldn't find Lily. A wall collapsed on you." Her grip on his hand made him wince. "You were knocked out but Amy and I got you out."

She watched a tear fall down his cheek and drop onto his top – scrubs, she realised. He was wearing scrubs. "I don't understand." Her heart rate monitor was beeping wildly again and Jesse pressed kisses onto her hand, willing her to stay calm. He couldn't see the blaze that licked at her skin, see the smoke that was slowly choking her.

"You were injured so they brought you here. You're going to have to stay for a couple of days but you should be-"

"Lily. She's dead." She could see it in his expression, the way he held himself. He had been trying to find a way to break it to her gently but she didn't need him too. She could feel that Lily was gone.

"Yes. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. Not your fault."

"Beca don't do this, you need to keep relaxed."

"I am. I'm fine."

She didn't notice the tears at first. When a sob echoed around the room she thought it was someone else. But suddenly her entire body was wracked with her crying, the memories of the night catching up with her and seeming all too real. Jesse fussed over her, out of his seat and trying to get her to relax, but she was already moving, trying to curl up.

Beca felt skin tear. It took a second for the pain to come, but when it did, she screamed; agonising and hideous screams that drowned out Jesse's panic and the door bashing against the walls as her room filled with people, fighting to calm her down. She saw them push him out the door and she cried out for him, begging him to come back, but he was gone and a strange sensation was working its way up her leg. She felt her body begin to relax against her will and she glared and hurled abuse at the doctor holding the needle, her mind slowly clouding over into total blackness.

* * *

Two days into her stay at the hospital, she woke up and grumbled at the constant ache she had had for days. Her skin tugged and was tight and itchy, wrapped up in bandages and making her very uncomfortable. She wanted to get up and walk back to her dorm room, she wanted to play her music at full blast and got lost in her world when none of the stupid crap that had happened over the past few weeks existed and she could just be. Beca was dazed, unsure and angry. She was furious at the world and Barden and at herself and-

Jesse.

She could feel his hand in hers now, his forehead resting on her forearm as he slept. Once more, he was mumbling away – Beca's favourite Jesse quirk. Just the feel of his touch was calming her, and she turned to watch him. He really was handsome, with his strong jaw and his full lips and his beautiful brown eyes that were watching her warily. Hang on…

"Beca, you're awake," he croaked. Clearing his throat he sat up and strengthened his grip on her hand. "How are you feeling?"

"I ache," she grumbled, pouting comically in a way she knew would make him smile. Except for then, it seemed, because he just continued to examine her face with worried eyes. "You don't need to be so worried. I'm okay." She cupped his jaw and smiled half-heartedly.

"I don't expect you to be okay love. You've been through a trauma; you're allowed to fall apart." He put his hand over hers and watched her shrug casually.

"I'm okay, seriously. Though I'd kill for pizza right now."

He frowned, his eyes flickering over her face, looking for any signs she was lying. He found them, because he knew her so well, but all he did was press his lips together and nod. He could tell how much she didn't want to talk about it all – even more so, how much she didn't want to fall apart in front of him. And so he let her pretend to be okay, because that's the kind of guy he was – he wouldn't push her too far, because he understood that she'd let him in when she was ready.

"I can order some pizza for you. While we wait, you wanna watch a movie?"

She smiled despite herself and did her best to shuffle across the bed. He grabbed his bag and pulled out his laptop, not even needing to ask what she wanted to watch to distract herself – The Breakfast Club was already loaded onto the screen. He squeezed himself into the space she had been made, and despite the tugging she could feel, Beca got comfortable against his side. He wrapped his arm around her, being careful not to touch any of her bandages.

And as the beginning credits began to play with their song playing in the background, Beca let herself sink into Jesse's embrace, completely at ease in his arms.

* * *

She didn't know why she was running, but the wind felt good against her face as she did.

The funeral had been agonizing. Physically, yes, because her burns were still so sensitive, and wearing clothes that weren't hospital gowns for the first time had been horrific when Jesse helped her climb into the loosest black dress she owned. But also, emotionally. The funeral meant Lily was really gone, that Lily had really died in her own fire, that Beca had failed to save her.

Lily's mother had been there. It was strange, seeing the mother of the girl you had been trying so hard to keep from breaking down for so long. Her mother was the cause of it. Beca had watched the woman sob in the front row, tightly clutching her husband. No dying woman should spend her last few months on Earth mourning the loss of her daughter.

The following hours were a blur of dark space and heavy drinking. It was a strange comfort, but it eased the pain of her scarring flesh and her wounded heart. Her friend was dead, had died on her watch, and somehow the alcohol made that overwhelming guilt and self-hatred a little easier.

She didn't know how, but she found herself in Jesse's room – empty because, she presumed, he was still at the funeral – and she was stuffing every belonging of hers into a bin bag. Her toothbrush, her spare jeans and shirts, the bra under his bed that she had forgotten about a few months ago after a quick dash to class. His Treble's hoody was lying on his bed, and she paused to lift it up, smelling his cologne in the fabric. Beca fell to the bed, feeling tears prick the back of her eyes. She couldn't leave this way. If she was going to run, she had to say goodbye first.

And so she wrapped the hoody around herself and, finding a pen, did her best through her alcohol induced haze to put it all into words.

_Jesse,  
I know you will hate me for this. I hate me for this. But know I will never forget you and all you've done for me. You saved my life in more ways than one. You're an incredible person – find someone just as incredible who deserves you.  
I love you.  
Beca x_

And with a shaky breath and only a few escaped tears, she grabbed the bag and dragged it behind her. Out of his room, out of his life, out of her own life. Beca was going to start anew, in the place she had always been destined to go.

* * *

Jesse chuckled as his phone rang again.

"We have to answer eventually, you know." His lips stayed on hers as her fingers trailed down his bare chest.

"No we don't," she answered back, and she groaned as he began to kiss down her jaw and press his palms into the skin of her lower back under her shirt. The shirt that quickly disappeared and let the cold air in, making her break out in goosebumps. His fingers danced along the newly revealed flesh and ran along her scar, the smile on his face faltering as it always does when he feels them. She looked down at him, lying beneath her, and pressed her hips into him more, his grin becoming genuine again as he looked up at her.

"Beca? Beca are you- Oh my god!" Chloe squeaked as her eyes found them. Beca yelped and she fell to Jesse's chest, trying to hide herself. Jesse snorted a laugh as Chloe stood dumbfounded in their doorway, her emergency key in her hand.

"Chloe!"

"Beca?"

"Chloe."

"Jesse?!"

"Beca?"

"Aubrey?!"

"Jesse!"

"Aubrey..."

"Okay wow does this need to stop!" Beca rubbed her temples, and felt Jesse chuckle beneath her. "You two go wait outside!" Beca waited until she heard the door slam and then grabbed her stolen Trebles hoody, zipping it up to cover her already lost dignity.

"You look so sexy in that thing..." Jesse said wistfully, grabbing her knee and trying to pull her back. She slapped away his hand, stepping away quickly.

"Let me deal with this first," she compromised, "Meanwhile, find some clothes!"

Beca slid out of her door, biting her lip as her two old friends stared at her with bug eyes.

"I can't believe this Beca!" Aubrey exclaimed. "How could you?"

"You've been missing for three days. I can't believe you've both been ignoring our calls" We were worried!" Chloe stated, crossing her arms and eyeing up Beca's chosen attire.

"We've been celebrating!" Beca tried to explain, staring Aubrey down. "We were a little distracted, so sue us. This is exciting!"

"Just because you guys are playing house now doesn't mean you get to just fall off the face of the Earth," Aubrey said, her hand on her hip. Beca remembered back to a few years ago, when the blonde had accused her of having a toner for Jesse. She smirked at how right she had been.

"Oh my god, look," Beca sighed heavily. "Jesse and I have just taken a giant step. We moved in together! It's a big deal and I'm still trying to show him he can trust me, so yes we ignored your calls, and I'm sorry. It's just been a bit of a crazy year, and we're finally back to where we were and there's –"

"I can't believe you guys moved in together here in LA." Chloe grinned at her.

"Aw, you guys are going to have aca-babies!" Aubrey squeaked. Beca eyed her suspiciously, wondering if it was that obvious.

"Okay you really need to stop adding aca to things," Beca groaned. "I'm not talking to you two about this. I'm supposed to be celebrating my new apartment before I have to go to work!"

Chloe smirked. "You guys are too cute. I'm glad he chose to come here after graduation."

"We just wanted to make sure you were okay moving across country and taking that big step." Aubrey glared at her but Beca could tell she had been worrying about her.

"In sorry, I should have called. I was... Busy." She tilted her head towards the door and Chloe raised her eyebrows suggestively. "Oh stop it."

"Will you call me later?" Chloe eyed the hoody again, evidently trying to make a point. Beca definitely had some explaining to do.

"I will call you when I can," Beca said uneasily. "Now will you please go?"

Finally shooing her friends away, Beca entered her apartment to find Jesse in the kitchen area, reheating some of their takeout from last night. Glad to see he'd at least thrown on pants, she jumped into the counter and swung her legs, watching him as he washed up her dishes. His muscles rippled as he scrubbed, and she wondered if she could persuade him to walk around shirtless all the time.

"You don't need to do that."

"Yes, I do," he teased. "You're going to give yourself some horrific disease if you continue to eat off these."

The microwave beeped and Jesse gestured towards it. "It's for you. You really can't afford to not eat for so long, you know."

Beca slid off the top and pulled out the food, the smell making her stomach rumble. "This takeout is incredible." Beca nodded approvingly as she slurped up some noodles.

"God does it smell good." Jesse groaned, his own stomach empty.

Beca laughed. "Every time someone mentions god, I'm think of you."

He wiggled his eyebrows at her and she grinned. She slid towards him, offering a fork of noodles. "You want some?"

He happily accepted, his hands still immersed in dirty dishwater. When he finished chewing, he watched her for a moment before speaking. "Who'd have thought we'd end up so domestic."

She rolled her eyes but smiled. "Love makes us do crazy things." And he beamed with pride as she placed a hand on her stomach, a smile tugging at her lips as her heart swelled with love.

* * *

"And the winner for International Producer of the Year at this year's Music Producer's Guild Awards is… Beca Mitchell!"

A grin broke out across her face and she laughed happily as Jesse pressed a sweet kiss against her cheek. She squeezed his hand and got up out of her seat, ruffling Lila's hair and grinning at her dad. This moment meant she'd made it. This moment meant she'd achieved her dream.

She walked towards the podium a champion, and then she realised she was going to get up and speak in front of all of these people in a country she didn't really know and suddenly she panicked that she didn't deserve this award at all. Maybe it was a mistake? Maybe they had called out her name in error?

But everyone was grinning at her and cheering and when she walked onto the stage, clutching the hem of the floating skirt of her dress, they handed her the award happily. And as the applause died down and Beca shifted uncomfortably in her spot, she let her eyes find Jesse, the one man who could calm her nerves and make her feel like herself again.

And she did, for all of half a second before she saw the sign he was holding high above his head with the help of their three year old daughter on his shoulders. Her little family, her perfect world; the man of which getting her back in the most beautiful of ways. She cursed quietly at the bold words on the large piece of card.

_Marry me._

The crowd waited for her to talk but all she could do was struggle to take a breath. The giant screens either side of her flickered and on one, Jesse's smirk was displayed for all to see as Lila hid her face in his hair. His eyes never strayed from hers and despite the distance, he could see her emotions racing.

She was angry. Why would this man possibly think it okay to propose right now in front of all of these people? In that way? Yes, okay, she had told him about their unexpected pregnancy at graduation with a sign (and really, was he incapable of coming up with his own ideas?) but that had been subtle. No one but him would have interpreted that sign any other way. But his sign? The words smacked you in the face with their obviousness.

On the other screen, Beca shifted as she kicked off her uncomfortable heels under the podium.

But this was Jesse. He was the guy who sang to her on her first day of college. Who said from the day they officially met at the radio station that they'd be together. He was the dorky records guy who loved to make her smile no matter how much she fought it. He was the guy who took all of her crap and saw her as beautiful all the same. Who she pushed too hard and almost faded away from her life, but forgave her with just a few lyrics from a song. He was her everything that had literally saved her life and accepted her back into his arms even after she caused him so much pain by running.

He was the father of her daughter. The co-creator of the most beautiful thing in her life.

Really, there was no need to hesitate. She'd known her answer for seven years.

Putting her award down on the podium, a grin grew wide on her face as she nodded, and with no care to the audience or the cameras recording her every move, ran straight back into his arms. Her father, beaming proudly, grabbed Lila away just in time for Beca to crush herself against her new fiancé, kissing him with all the love she could muster as his fist punched the air above them. She laughed against his lips and looked up into his sparkling eyes, feeling something strangely akin to bliss.

"You're such a weirdo."

* * *

**The ending of last chapter was slightly up for debate, I guess, with the card and all. But how I imagined it was her revealing she was with unplanned child. I know it's kinda soon after their make up but I don't know, it's what I saw when I wrote it. I hope you guys liked the ending! The awards thing is a real thing hosted in London. You can Google it if you like.**

**Okay, I'm going to go cry over the fact I have to let go of this universe I created and panic over the homework I've put off to write this. See how much I love you guys? (Actually I'm going to freak out over Community finally returning today but all the same) Goodbye my pretties!**


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